evy

I'm ready for my change.

This song's lyrics express pretty accurately how I feel right now. And I wanted to post the bits that made me stop and go "Wow."



"I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside
have finally begun to create so much pressure
that Ill soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I cant let that happen again
cause then youll see my heart
in the saddest state its ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life."



That's about right. I'm ready to never be as bad and sick as I have been ever again because the person I know I am hates who I've been recently. I hate how unhappy, depressed, and not like myself I've been. I don't think I've really thoroughly enjoyed life since high school and then parts of my freshman year here.

I try really hard to not talk to anyone about all my problems or show them that I'm having these problems because I don't want to burden others. I keep things in for so long that they finally blow up in my face like they did the end of last semester. It's a small miracle I made it through any of my exams, how I did okay on all of them blows my mind.

Unless I get myself together and back to me soon, I'm going to fall apart. I'm going to have to spend some time in a place I don't want to go. I'm trying really hard to avoid that fate.
I've been that low once and I NEVER want to contemplate that again. I never want to feel that way again. When my heart is that heavy and sad, I give up.

This, right now, is no place to live my life out. I shouldn't live in this low state. It sucks.



Anyways, back to homework. That song just came on so it struck me.