evil_dad

Privacy is a little bit of a difficult thing to come by in a family home. While it's easy enough to get my SG time when everyone else is on the opposite side of my laptop screen. Finding time for a little "self appreciation" is almost impossible.
So after perusing some inspiring images, and deciding that my new Galaxy III is up to the task, I decide that I'm going to run myself a bath, something I was planning to do anyway, and have a little alone time. "My wife and I have a date planned for later, but maybe if I get the easy one out of the way now..." I loudly announce to the household that "I'm going to have a bath does anyone need the bathroom first?". Every last one of them answers me "Nooo." "You're all sure," I say, "because it seems like every time I go into this bathroom (we only have one in this house. Putting the second one into the basement is on the list of things I've been wanting to do, but you know that's a lot of money) somebody...", I stare hard at my youngest for emphasis, " needs to urgently use the toilet.", I continue. "Nooo!", everybody answers me again in unison.
" Awesome, I am going to do this!"
I run a nice hot bath, and resume my viewing pleasure on the Android... I'm just starting to get into it, laying back, phone in one hand, myself in the other, when my wife announces that she has to pee after all. I've locked the door, but quick as can be she goes around through our bedroom to the other door, where the lock is easy to pop. I have just enough time to shut my phone down and stash it in the shower curtain.
The door opens... "Shit! She's going to wonder why I have my glasses on in the tub" I quickly stash them next to the phone and busy myself with washing my feet, bending over to hide my erection.
She sits down on the toilet and begins to prattle on to me about some inane thing she just read on the internet. Isn't this awkward. I could of course just reveal to her what I've been up to, with little embarrassment, but I'm hoping to resume the activity after she leaves, and it always makes me feel a bit awkward when I know that she knows what I'm up to. This is kind of my thing, and I like to keep it that way. After all, I've been sneaking around to do this stuff since I was 12, and you know what they say about old habits.
That plan is quickly shot anyway, as we are quickly by my 5 year old who has some nonsense question to ask. Followed shortly afterwards by the dog. "Is there any other fucking person who thinks they need to be in here? Can we call the neighbors?"
My wife reaches back for some paper to dab herself off after her tinkle and she brushes the shower curtain. "splash". "Oh shit! What the fuck?! Was that my brand new phone!!"... "Thank fuck, just my glasses." My phone has fallen the other way down through the curtain behind the toilet.
The erection is gone, my phone safely hidden behind the toilet, I wait out the crowd, and eventually everybody leaves. I have the bathroom to myself again.
I recover my phone, dry off my glasses. "I was bored with that ass fucking video anyway.", I tell myself, and I look for a new video to watch. "Oh my god! Look at this blonde with the killer rack and and the swollen torpedo shaped nipples. Holy fucking god! This is it, this is the girl of my dreams for the next 2 to 2 1/2 minutes". Now I'm really in to it. On my knees, big long strokes. 'Oh she's so hot. look at her suck that cock!".
"Dad! I need to poop!"... "Jeesus Fucking Christ, are you fucking kidding me?!" "God Dammit!" "Shit outside voice! .... Silence... "Weird. Guess he was just doing that to bug me?" "Welp, might as well finish frosting the tub surround"...

I'm all dried off, and feeling much better about myself. I find a bit of tuna casserole my wife whipped up, and starting dishing myself up. I can suddenly feel an intense glare at the back of my head. I turn around to face my wife. "I can't believe you wouldn't let your son,use the bathroom. And you swore at him!". "I thought he was just bugging me!", I attempt to respond. "Well, he's not been feeling well all day, and now you made him have an accident!"

So much for stress relief. And now I'm probably out that piece of tail I was hoping for later too.

Looks like I'm putting in that other bathroom.