The problem with me is that I always try to remember things and happenings to make blogs exciting, when really I sit at my desk at work, hating my job, and thinking to myself that I'll write a blog instead of working. This in turn makes me forget about all those sort of things that I like to include in my blogs, resulting in a mindless whirlwind of drivel that only those who really think of me as a good person will comment on. Despite this underwhelming sense of self loathing, I continue to torture myself with thoughts of people not respecting me or getting who I really am.
HOW. FUCKING. EMO.
So I'm losing my Job at the end of March. So I have money problems. So I wonder why my girlfriend hangs around with my deadbeat ass.
Who doesn't, right?
Nothing like moving out into your own rented flat, with your girlfriend I might add, to really make you appreciate the money problems you have. Don't get me wrong folks. We're not starving. We've not yet come to the point where we need to burn furniture to keep warm, despite how stupidly cold the Glasgow Tenement Buildings can get (Yes, we have central heating, but it really doesn't make much of a difference). I can't help but feel that it's all my fault. After all, it's my overdraft. It's my credit card. Sure, Sarah spends a lot on petrol, but it's only due to the fact that she's going to and from work. Hell, when she's ready to look for a new job in town, she could technically take a two grand pay cut and still be better off on average over the year. Yet month after month we end up relying on her money. Even thought this happens, she still makes sure that I buy at least a few new comics at the start of each month. She tells me that she feels guilty that I need to cut down on it. That's the worse part, that my problems make her feel bad, as the money I do have spare goes towards "Us" and not "Me". The sort of problems I have are stuck with me until I sort them out, and due to the "declining economic climate", I have no short answers to clear the aforementioned debt.
So, to shit on the already shitty situation, I've been told that unless my employer can find another suitable position for me, then I will be made redundant on the 31st of March 2010. Yippee! [/sarcasm]
To tell you the truth, I expected it from Day 1 when they first announced the possibility of it happening. Again, in truth, I've had a pretty bad year of it. I started the job in Oct 08, and things never really hit the ground running. A combination of bad training and development and a lack of enthusiasm on my part (Who really wants to work in an office after all?) meant that things were wrong from the word Go. So, when they announced it, I knew that it was obvious that others deserved to keep the jobs more than I. Sure, I know I'm not an idiot. I'm a smart guy. I pride myself on common sense, but at the end of the day, I just didn't get the job. It didn't suit me and I didn't suit it.
So really, when I think about it, I'm using this as a chance to get my arse in gear and sort myself out.
There are two ways to think about it, with the possibility of a third. I either wait until I know what I'm going to get as a payment package, and wait it out. Wait until I find out and then leave anyway. Or I leave now, not before I have another job of course, and get on with it. If I wait for the money, I'm 99.99% that it would go towards the pesky debt. If all things go to plan, I'll come out the other end in a better position, financially or I'll have a better job.
I just wish I could stop day dreaming about winning the lottery all the fucking time. I don't even play the bloody thing!
I really don't know what I'll go on to do. Hopefully I'll find a decent job. I've even thought about going back to Uni, but I really have no idea what I would do, let alone how I would afford it now I've moved out and I have about 3k looming over my head.
Anyway! Let's brighten this depressing load of pish up a little eh?
Living away from home is great. Despite all the rubbish I've already mentioned, I wouldn't change it for the world. Sure, I don't get to spend as much on comics or Magic: The Gathering anymore, but I get to see and spend time with my girlfriend everyday. I won't lie, I was a little worried about it to begin with. My past experiences, for one reason or another, meant that I only saw my current girlfriend at the time around the weekends and possibly an odd day during the week. Which is what I was used to with Sarah in the beginning. To go from what I was used to to the opposite end of the spectrum was daughnting, but I wouldn't change it at all. Sure, we've had our petty little arguments, our disagreements and such, but again, who doesn't? I certainly appreciate her more, despite her ridiculous tidying up methods. E.g.. She doesn't have any. But then I guess I wouldn't love her as much as I do if she was different. I've come to love a walking/talking cyclone of destruction. Still, I love tidying and cleaning up, so where's the hassle in that eh? It's funny how to still learn things about people who you've known for years. It's crazy. It was only just last night that we were talking about how funny it is how things change. It was only 2 and a bit years ago that we were only friends after all. It really is great how well it's worked with Sarah and I moving in together.
I think one of the most surprising things is how me moving out has helped my relationship with my mum. I've had one or two arguments about how often she initially checked up on me, but that's what mums do. I suppose in a sense it's only natural. She had me around every day, and now she doesn't. The occasional text and call isn't bad at all. It's just unfortunate that she did it every day. Still, I certainly enjoy and look forward to all the times I get to go "home" and get my dinner made by the one that I've been used to for the past 23 years. Not that Sarah is a bad cook/baker you understand. She's fucking awesome. But at the moment, there's nothing like a "home" cooked meal. The heating at "home" and the 24 meg Internets certainly doesn't go a miss either.
Ah the Internet. It's a fickle thing. Yet I miss it so. You may have noticed that I venture less and less in the land of SG, and that's pretty much because of the lack of decent Internets in the flat at the moment. I have my iPhone, which is ok, but doesn't do the job properly. We also have a wireless dongle that was pre-paid to the end of the year from Sarah's parents, which does the job, but attempt to watch a Youtube video or download anything over a Meg, then it's worse-than-dial-up-ville for you my friend.
I must admit. Being away from the Internet has been much easier than I expected. I still want it in the flat, but I have discovered two things.
1. I miss Xbox Live the most. I didn't realise how often I used it and how much fun I had with it. All these new games coming out, and I can't try demo's. Talking and playing with mates. I managed to pick up Modern Warfare 2, and sure, I freaking loved the campaign, but I only have the Spec Ops Missions to rely on at the moment, and I really, REALLY want to get into the Multiplayer.
2. I have no use for a desk-top. My PC gaming days are over. The only thing I use my desktop for now is the Internet and various things like music, writing and certain other things. All of which can be done on a Laptop and a Macbook. No gaming. So, I have come to the decision that once I have my debt sorted, I'm going to get rid of my Desk-Top and look into getting a Laptop or a Macbook. I wouldn't mind getting some pro's and con's from either end if you guys are users. I like the idea of becoming a coffee fag, whittling my hours away on a rainy day in a coffee shop, surfing the net on my laptop or Macbook. Call me a poser, but I like the possibility of combining many of my favourite things. People Watching, Internet Surfing and Refreshment Drinking. Good times.
Magic: The Gathering has taken over my life. In a way, Wizards of the Coast have replaced Games Workshop for me. It's a shame. I have a pretty big load of stuff when it comes to Warhammer 40k. I have a lot of hobby kit that is very expensive. Paints especially. My gaming days are over, but I want to eventually sort out my desk to allow me to have an area where I can paint. I do miss painting. It's something I enjoyed more so than the actual playing of Warhammer. Sitting down, cleaning and refining the models. Converting them. Painting them. It's some what therapeutic. I have loads of ideas in my head that I still want to try. Who knows. Maybe it'll find some others who still play and get back into gaming. But in the mean time, it's just me and the paints.
Magic: The Gathering is something I've always known about, and I've always been intrigued, but until recently, it's been on of those things I'm just admired from afar. I found out that a few of my mates actually started collecting it and so I thought it was a good time to jump on board. I'm glad I did. So much of the game is based on pure luck and technical skill. I find myself looking up deck lists, watching "Deck Tech" on Youtube and taking interest into the World Tour Tournaments that Wizards hold every so often. The technicality of some of the decks and the ideas and thoughts of some of the players are just beyond me. It is really interesting. It's an awesome hobby. It can be very expensive, but at the moment, I'm just happy to relish the charm of it all. I sometimes sit at the centre where Drafts are held near my flat and think that not many of these people really care about the charm of the creature or spells anymore. They are just cards which gain benefits. It's all about winning, getting the rare cards and not about looking at the art, making a deck that you like as opposed to making one that will win as soon as possible. It's a shame. I refuse to say care or even love the cards, but I'm sure you know what I'm getting at. Still, I'm lucky in a sense as I have two sets of friends, one of which are older than the others, who have been collecting for years. I like nothing better than looking at the art, and is what I admired when I was just an onlooker. The old cards have so much of that charm I mentioned. You could happily sit and look at all the old cards, reading some of the older rules and abilities, it really is nice to see how the artwork and rule sets have progressed. At the same time, I do like to get some wins in and get some nice rare cards as a result. Nothing like a bit of boasting every now and then.
Sarah has taken a small interest, and it's funny to watch her sit there, making the creature cards roar and stomp about (As she did with my Warhammer miniatures.), but I think the most interesting thing about it is her complete and utter different playing style. She obviously doesn't like my decks, so it was nice to sit down and construct a deck with her out of my collection, and then play a few games and see the difference in how much she enjoys it. It is great fun.
Another point of interest in my life at the moment is my evening class. "Stolen Stories: Writing Original Fiction from Myth, Legend, Folk Tales and History. I've had some pretty good feedback regarding my stories and the comments I give in class. It's nice to know that the speal I put onto paper, or rather a .Doc file, actually entertains people and gives them another genre of writing that they didn't necessarily know anything about to begin with. It's all short stories and poems at the moment. I am very much looking forward to when we look at song lyrics. Being a big Sci-Fi and Horror nut, I can only guess when saying I reckon my musical taste will do nothing but benefit the whole deal. Apparently I'm also very good at taking critique and comments, and then adapting them to my benefit. This can only lead to good things, as it's only other peoples suggestions that will better my work I suppose. It's entertaining seeing some of my story ideas on paper. Sometimes it works, most of the time they don't, and a lot of the time I find myself forcing something to be written, but it's not going to work like that all the time. When I get a good idea, it's pretty easy to get it done. It was only recently I discovered that most of the items we see published today have usually been drafted a good 20-30 times. I found this pretty amazing, but a little scary. Would it really be the same story, my story, by the end of 30 drafts? Who knows. If anyone is that interested, PM me an email address and I'll send you a couple of things to read. I'd be quite interested into what you guys think actually.
So that's about it really. Those are the major happenings at the moment. Funny how writing shit down and letting a bunch of folk you hardly ever see makes you feel a little bit better. That last line is something I wish to remedy, as a lot of you seem nice. Are you nice? Would you like to be my friend? *cringe*
Anyway, at the end of the day, I'm enjoying myself right now. Sure, I have a bunch of stuff on my plate, but so does everyone else, and I can also see a light at the end of the tunnel, which is more that can be said for some. I guess I just need to shut up and get on with it. It'll be tough to begin with, but after all the debt is paid and things are better, I'll be laughing.
So get in touch, let me know how you fine people are. It's been a while after all.
Hakuna Matata Bitches.
HOW. FUCKING. EMO.
So I'm losing my Job at the end of March. So I have money problems. So I wonder why my girlfriend hangs around with my deadbeat ass.
Who doesn't, right?
Nothing like moving out into your own rented flat, with your girlfriend I might add, to really make you appreciate the money problems you have. Don't get me wrong folks. We're not starving. We've not yet come to the point where we need to burn furniture to keep warm, despite how stupidly cold the Glasgow Tenement Buildings can get (Yes, we have central heating, but it really doesn't make much of a difference). I can't help but feel that it's all my fault. After all, it's my overdraft. It's my credit card. Sure, Sarah spends a lot on petrol, but it's only due to the fact that she's going to and from work. Hell, when she's ready to look for a new job in town, she could technically take a two grand pay cut and still be better off on average over the year. Yet month after month we end up relying on her money. Even thought this happens, she still makes sure that I buy at least a few new comics at the start of each month. She tells me that she feels guilty that I need to cut down on it. That's the worse part, that my problems make her feel bad, as the money I do have spare goes towards "Us" and not "Me". The sort of problems I have are stuck with me until I sort them out, and due to the "declining economic climate", I have no short answers to clear the aforementioned debt.
So, to shit on the already shitty situation, I've been told that unless my employer can find another suitable position for me, then I will be made redundant on the 31st of March 2010. Yippee! [/sarcasm]
To tell you the truth, I expected it from Day 1 when they first announced the possibility of it happening. Again, in truth, I've had a pretty bad year of it. I started the job in Oct 08, and things never really hit the ground running. A combination of bad training and development and a lack of enthusiasm on my part (Who really wants to work in an office after all?) meant that things were wrong from the word Go. So, when they announced it, I knew that it was obvious that others deserved to keep the jobs more than I. Sure, I know I'm not an idiot. I'm a smart guy. I pride myself on common sense, but at the end of the day, I just didn't get the job. It didn't suit me and I didn't suit it.
So really, when I think about it, I'm using this as a chance to get my arse in gear and sort myself out.
There are two ways to think about it, with the possibility of a third. I either wait until I know what I'm going to get as a payment package, and wait it out. Wait until I find out and then leave anyway. Or I leave now, not before I have another job of course, and get on with it. If I wait for the money, I'm 99.99% that it would go towards the pesky debt. If all things go to plan, I'll come out the other end in a better position, financially or I'll have a better job.
I just wish I could stop day dreaming about winning the lottery all the fucking time. I don't even play the bloody thing!
I really don't know what I'll go on to do. Hopefully I'll find a decent job. I've even thought about going back to Uni, but I really have no idea what I would do, let alone how I would afford it now I've moved out and I have about 3k looming over my head.
Anyway! Let's brighten this depressing load of pish up a little eh?
Living away from home is great. Despite all the rubbish I've already mentioned, I wouldn't change it for the world. Sure, I don't get to spend as much on comics or Magic: The Gathering anymore, but I get to see and spend time with my girlfriend everyday. I won't lie, I was a little worried about it to begin with. My past experiences, for one reason or another, meant that I only saw my current girlfriend at the time around the weekends and possibly an odd day during the week. Which is what I was used to with Sarah in the beginning. To go from what I was used to to the opposite end of the spectrum was daughnting, but I wouldn't change it at all. Sure, we've had our petty little arguments, our disagreements and such, but again, who doesn't? I certainly appreciate her more, despite her ridiculous tidying up methods. E.g.. She doesn't have any. But then I guess I wouldn't love her as much as I do if she was different. I've come to love a walking/talking cyclone of destruction. Still, I love tidying and cleaning up, so where's the hassle in that eh? It's funny how to still learn things about people who you've known for years. It's crazy. It was only just last night that we were talking about how funny it is how things change. It was only 2 and a bit years ago that we were only friends after all. It really is great how well it's worked with Sarah and I moving in together.
I think one of the most surprising things is how me moving out has helped my relationship with my mum. I've had one or two arguments about how often she initially checked up on me, but that's what mums do. I suppose in a sense it's only natural. She had me around every day, and now she doesn't. The occasional text and call isn't bad at all. It's just unfortunate that she did it every day. Still, I certainly enjoy and look forward to all the times I get to go "home" and get my dinner made by the one that I've been used to for the past 23 years. Not that Sarah is a bad cook/baker you understand. She's fucking awesome. But at the moment, there's nothing like a "home" cooked meal. The heating at "home" and the 24 meg Internets certainly doesn't go a miss either.
Ah the Internet. It's a fickle thing. Yet I miss it so. You may have noticed that I venture less and less in the land of SG, and that's pretty much because of the lack of decent Internets in the flat at the moment. I have my iPhone, which is ok, but doesn't do the job properly. We also have a wireless dongle that was pre-paid to the end of the year from Sarah's parents, which does the job, but attempt to watch a Youtube video or download anything over a Meg, then it's worse-than-dial-up-ville for you my friend.
I must admit. Being away from the Internet has been much easier than I expected. I still want it in the flat, but I have discovered two things.
1. I miss Xbox Live the most. I didn't realise how often I used it and how much fun I had with it. All these new games coming out, and I can't try demo's. Talking and playing with mates. I managed to pick up Modern Warfare 2, and sure, I freaking loved the campaign, but I only have the Spec Ops Missions to rely on at the moment, and I really, REALLY want to get into the Multiplayer.
2. I have no use for a desk-top. My PC gaming days are over. The only thing I use my desktop for now is the Internet and various things like music, writing and certain other things. All of which can be done on a Laptop and a Macbook. No gaming. So, I have come to the decision that once I have my debt sorted, I'm going to get rid of my Desk-Top and look into getting a Laptop or a Macbook. I wouldn't mind getting some pro's and con's from either end if you guys are users. I like the idea of becoming a coffee fag, whittling my hours away on a rainy day in a coffee shop, surfing the net on my laptop or Macbook. Call me a poser, but I like the possibility of combining many of my favourite things. People Watching, Internet Surfing and Refreshment Drinking. Good times.
Magic: The Gathering has taken over my life. In a way, Wizards of the Coast have replaced Games Workshop for me. It's a shame. I have a pretty big load of stuff when it comes to Warhammer 40k. I have a lot of hobby kit that is very expensive. Paints especially. My gaming days are over, but I want to eventually sort out my desk to allow me to have an area where I can paint. I do miss painting. It's something I enjoyed more so than the actual playing of Warhammer. Sitting down, cleaning and refining the models. Converting them. Painting them. It's some what therapeutic. I have loads of ideas in my head that I still want to try. Who knows. Maybe it'll find some others who still play and get back into gaming. But in the mean time, it's just me and the paints.
Magic: The Gathering is something I've always known about, and I've always been intrigued, but until recently, it's been on of those things I'm just admired from afar. I found out that a few of my mates actually started collecting it and so I thought it was a good time to jump on board. I'm glad I did. So much of the game is based on pure luck and technical skill. I find myself looking up deck lists, watching "Deck Tech" on Youtube and taking interest into the World Tour Tournaments that Wizards hold every so often. The technicality of some of the decks and the ideas and thoughts of some of the players are just beyond me. It is really interesting. It's an awesome hobby. It can be very expensive, but at the moment, I'm just happy to relish the charm of it all. I sometimes sit at the centre where Drafts are held near my flat and think that not many of these people really care about the charm of the creature or spells anymore. They are just cards which gain benefits. It's all about winning, getting the rare cards and not about looking at the art, making a deck that you like as opposed to making one that will win as soon as possible. It's a shame. I refuse to say care or even love the cards, but I'm sure you know what I'm getting at. Still, I'm lucky in a sense as I have two sets of friends, one of which are older than the others, who have been collecting for years. I like nothing better than looking at the art, and is what I admired when I was just an onlooker. The old cards have so much of that charm I mentioned. You could happily sit and look at all the old cards, reading some of the older rules and abilities, it really is nice to see how the artwork and rule sets have progressed. At the same time, I do like to get some wins in and get some nice rare cards as a result. Nothing like a bit of boasting every now and then.
Sarah has taken a small interest, and it's funny to watch her sit there, making the creature cards roar and stomp about (As she did with my Warhammer miniatures.), but I think the most interesting thing about it is her complete and utter different playing style. She obviously doesn't like my decks, so it was nice to sit down and construct a deck with her out of my collection, and then play a few games and see the difference in how much she enjoys it. It is great fun.
Another point of interest in my life at the moment is my evening class. "Stolen Stories: Writing Original Fiction from Myth, Legend, Folk Tales and History. I've had some pretty good feedback regarding my stories and the comments I give in class. It's nice to know that the speal I put onto paper, or rather a .Doc file, actually entertains people and gives them another genre of writing that they didn't necessarily know anything about to begin with. It's all short stories and poems at the moment. I am very much looking forward to when we look at song lyrics. Being a big Sci-Fi and Horror nut, I can only guess when saying I reckon my musical taste will do nothing but benefit the whole deal. Apparently I'm also very good at taking critique and comments, and then adapting them to my benefit. This can only lead to good things, as it's only other peoples suggestions that will better my work I suppose. It's entertaining seeing some of my story ideas on paper. Sometimes it works, most of the time they don't, and a lot of the time I find myself forcing something to be written, but it's not going to work like that all the time. When I get a good idea, it's pretty easy to get it done. It was only recently I discovered that most of the items we see published today have usually been drafted a good 20-30 times. I found this pretty amazing, but a little scary. Would it really be the same story, my story, by the end of 30 drafts? Who knows. If anyone is that interested, PM me an email address and I'll send you a couple of things to read. I'd be quite interested into what you guys think actually.
So that's about it really. Those are the major happenings at the moment. Funny how writing shit down and letting a bunch of folk you hardly ever see makes you feel a little bit better. That last line is something I wish to remedy, as a lot of you seem nice. Are you nice? Would you like to be my friend? *cringe*
Anyway, at the end of the day, I'm enjoying myself right now. Sure, I have a bunch of stuff on my plate, but so does everyone else, and I can also see a light at the end of the tunnel, which is more that can be said for some. I guess I just need to shut up and get on with it. It'll be tough to begin with, but after all the debt is paid and things are better, I'll be laughing.
So get in touch, let me know how you fine people are. It's been a while after all.
Hakuna Matata Bitches.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
cyberedz:
Likewise 
mrrhinos:
Thanks dude