After an epic battle with laziness, Ask Evan A Question Day turned into Ask Evan A Question Week (+ 4 days)! 
So...without further delay....here....are the
Answers
xartificialnight asked if you could get rid of any band, and I mean just like wipe them and all of their music from the face of the earth and everyones memory, who would it be and why?
Aerosmith. They have contributed more years of bad music than any band ever and ruined many movie soundtracks.
Prosaic_Muse asked If I were god would you be my cohort my angel of death?
I would love too! Where do I sign?
JayRock asked Aren't you into the whole straight edge thing? If so why?
I feel that I have always been Straightedge. Drinking, drugs, and sex with out love/commitment were things that never interested me. Around 1998 or so a friend introduced me to Earth Crisis and Snapcase, I did some research on this whole "straightedge" thing, and thought - Hey! That's me!
Micah asked Are you pregnant with Missy's child?
Yea....but they could have gotten better actors to play us in the movie version. Arnold Schwarzenegger looks nothing like me and Missy looks nothing like Danny DeVito....
Shabbydo asked What is the one question you are secretly hoping noone will ask you? Now answer it.
Honestly? I am pretty much open to anything. Maybe if you asked me where I kept my porn and then Missy read this...damn it...now I have to answer it? OK, there is a burned DVD in the box under my computer desk.
UberMagus asked If you had to be turned into a Fruit/Vegetable, what would you choose to become, and why?
An orange, because they are delicious! And I know I would be enjoyed!
Annee asked Pancakes or waffles: which do you prefer?
Waffles because they are easier to make at home. Just pop 'em in the toaster. I know they have microwavable pancakes, but they kinda suck.
Norritt asked What's the meaning of life?
I think this is different for each person. For me I think it has something to do with cheesecake. Mmmmm...chesecake.
LadyK asked What is the question for which 42 is the answer?
What is the minimum number of CDs that are to be piled on my computer desk at any given time?
Niobe asked When was the last time you masturbated?
And who is that in your profile pic?
Oh and how much will you pay me to piss on you?
I have not masturbated since a few days before Missy moved in...so...aprox. 24 days!
That is Ronnie from the TV show The Shield. He's hardcore
Just like I told that other guy. I'll give ya two bucks.
Tripleb_79 asked Half empty of half full? The glass i mean or any container for that matter.
Well, if it's a container of Skyline Chili, I would prefer it to be half full, that means I have enjoyed eating the other half!
HoudiniDawg asked Which one of the Three Stooges best resembles you, and why?
I don't think any of them resemble me physicaly, maybe if I went bald and let my hair grow out on the sides and back I would look like Larry.
MisterssMissy asked Why don't you want to try buttsex?
I don't recall me ever saying I didn't.
SignalNoise asked How do you always think to take pictures?
Well, I like looking at pictures of people/freinds and the good times we had. I take more than ever since I have all of SG to share with. It helps that I bought a nice lttle pocketsize digital camera too. And when I do forget, I always regret it later.
CarrotJuice asked Would you sing me a popular jingle from a television commercial?
Alright, what's your favorite pie flavor?
No, I don't let anyone hear me sing. Not even Missy.
I love Key Lime Pie. Either that or Apple.
LightbulbJack asked Mr. X, how does one such as myself become a suave mo-fo like yourself and have all the sexy ladies fall in love with me?
Capripants, wilingness to sleep with CareBears, and other things that bring new meaning to the word shameless. Really...I don't know how it's done. Everything that has happend to me is just dumb luck. I act silly do silly things and people respond. Boyish good looks don't hurt either.
Marv asked Why?
You gotta do soemthing right? Why not? What else is there to do all day but sit in front of the computer and type goofy questions and answers?
Sorcha asked I want your favorite book from each age: child, preteen, teenager, and adult.
Child - I don't remember what it was called but it was about a boy who every night would see a different monster outside his window when he went to bed, but then his dad would come in and turn on the lights and it would be tree branches or an owl or whatever. Untill the last night it really was a monster. I don't remember what happened after that. Maybe the monster ate him.
Preteen - I was in love with the "Three Investigators" book series. I used to get them from the library and I think I read just about all of them. Sometimes they got help from Alfred Hitchcock. I always thought that was a bit odd.
Adult - Hmmm... if I had to choose a novel I would say Glamorama or American Gods. If it was just "book" it would have to be MST3K's Amazing Collosal Episode Guide.
MissBernie asked What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
but seriously,
why the choice to be straight edge?
Would you believe that I never saw that movie? And I would not have even understood that reference if Missy hadn't told me.
For me, there was no other choice. It's how I have always been.
Patch asked you know your friends hot mom that you had a crush on?
please describe her...
I didn't become interested in girls (female He-Man action figures not included) until I was 19. By that time all my friends moms were old and withered.
EMTDan asked Do you secure the body or the head first when you are placing a patient in full cspine precautions.
I'm pretty sure, in a life or death situation, I would fuck it up and kill the person, no matter which one I chose.
Jesephene asked Can I still ask a question, even though I'm a day late?
If you knew someone who lost their love of music completely, what would you suggest they listen to, to find that love again?
Clearly this journal was going to stay up form more than a day. See, I'm lazy
Swing, and big band. That's something that makes you happy, and reminds you that music is suppoed to be fun and makes you wanna dance around.
Unique3 asked if you could cover Missy in ANY kind of icecream, what would it be?
Vanilla. I'm not too picky and I would want somehting that wouldn't overpower the "Missy taste" too much. Yum!
Akira asked You are alone on a dessert island until the day you die, with no hope of rescue. You can listen to the entire discography of any artist or group, but only one artist or group, who is it and why?
Ministry. They are my all time favorie group. I never get sick of listening to them. In fact, I credit them for opening my eyes to all the cool music and shaping the taste that I have now!
HyperCrew asked So how many girls has that bracelet attracted??
Way too many to count. I Got dragged onto the dancefloor by two hot chicks because of it and I clinched the deal with Missy because of it. It's brought me nothing by good fortune. And I thank you!
Bleeder asked When was the last time you were terrified??
I rarely get scared. Especially at movies. I was a little terrified standing in line for the Millenium Force at Cedar Point last year. But I got over it quick!
HArdbitten asked How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled. I hate runny eggs. Any way other that "well done" is disgusting.
Oninotaki asked Why do they make seperate razors for men and women?
I don't think there is an answer to this. They all look the same to me. Exept guys are balck and grey and girls are pink and baby blue. I guess they figure manly men like oursleves won't buy the pretty colors to shave our faces, nutsacks, etc.
X1 asked How'd you get so fine?
It wasn't easy. Lots of videogames, remote control curls, and hiding from the sun. It's tough. But if you follow my twelve step program you too can be as fine as me. E-mail me for scheduled dates for my next seminar.
Whatshisnuts asked Are you going to do any more nakey sets?
You know, I'd like too. I took a couple that only Missy has seen. And I keep trying to get her to do a Duos set with me. Maybe...keep an eye out....
Saucer asked Are you going to the Alkaline Trio show by any chance?
No, I'm not really a fan. And it's sold out anyway.
Resa asked did u ever drink any alcoholic beverages, or do any drugs before?
I've never had anything more than a sip of beer. It was nasty. And the only drugs I have done are cold medicines, asprins, or things like that. And that's not very often at all.
devil_duckie asked What celebrity would you go gay for?
A Vincent Gallo, Mickey Rourke, and Vince Vaugn gangbang. Yea.
TwoToner asked How do I get rid of these terrible hard water stains?
Are sure that's all they are? Hard water? Likely story. Scrub scrub scrub!
SweetAvenue asked How much do you love Daniel Clowes?
Quite a bit. I first got into him when I was reccomended to read "Like A Velvet Glove Cast In Iron" and I was blown away. I then started reading Eightball on a monthly basis(or however often he decided to put one out). And when I heard Ghost world was being made into a movie I tracked it's progress on the internet, snatching up all the information I could find. And I even drove to Detroit to catch the premiere, since it opened there before it did here. I also own the Ghost World screenplay and the hardcover graphic novel. And now I am quivering with anticipation for his next movie. Even though it's just based on a 4 page comic, I can only imagine how awesme it's going to be!!!!
GirlsInMagazines asked Missy said you're working in Standale now, how's that goin'?
Our grand opening is on Tuesday! It's kinda exciting. I've been working long hours and have been really busy!
Dylan asked vegemite or marmite?
I have never tasted either. I even had to Google those words to find out what they were. Vegimite sounds like a food processor that my parents used to have. Marmite sounds like "Marmot" which reminds me of The Big Lebowski. Now, I don't want to eat any Marmot products, I liked that movie so I'll have to go with that one.
Mikael asked How did you grow a beard so fast and burly?
Ha ha, yea right. I could not shave for a year and I would not have the kick ass beard and mustache that Ronnie has! Ronnie kicks ass!
Unique3 asked Dont you think it's time to update and answer thoes damn questions??
I have been sooo fricking busy. I didn't realize what a chore this was going to be. But...here they are!!!!
Les asked What happened to your profile?
It was due for an overhaul. I get sick of looking at the same answers and I was going to start over from scratch, but I have not had time to fill it all out again.
Kira asked Why is his head so big.......wwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy is his head so big?
I don't even know how to begin to answer this. I'm guessing it's a refernece to a cartoon or something that I don't know about. And Missy is sleeping so I can't ask her for clues. Or maybe you were a tad intoxicated when you wrote this. Or maybe I've just run out of witty responces. I don't know.
0TheAmazingRando aksed Will you come to jeffmorris' house with me to do naked maid service?
Yes. Under two conditions - we listen to "Eiffel 65", (Europop) and we take pictures together in that little photo booth. "Hi from Kodak Theatre" "Greetings from Hollywood & Highland"
MistressMissy asked Why do you love me?
I love you because you are the sweetest, prettiest, nicest, girl I have ever met. You love me back 20 times more that I love you. You honestly care about me and you let me know it all the time. I love everything about you. It's that simple. We are truely compatable and when you don't get too mad when I act like a jerkface. Missy....you complete me.
PRockGirlScout asked Did you ever actually ride that wicked cool SG board, or did you just buy it so you'd look..well...cool?
My skateboarding days are over. I bought it to be cool. Plus I collect crap so I just had to buy one. It's now hanging on my wall.
----------------
And there you have it folks. Now, I have learned my lesson - never bite off more than you can chew. I had to work waaaaay too hard on this. I guess thanks are in order to all of you who asked a question.
So...without further delay....here....are the
Answers
xartificialnight asked if you could get rid of any band, and I mean just like wipe them and all of their music from the face of the earth and everyones memory, who would it be and why?
Aerosmith. They have contributed more years of bad music than any band ever and ruined many movie soundtracks.
Prosaic_Muse asked If I were god would you be my cohort my angel of death?
I would love too! Where do I sign?
JayRock asked Aren't you into the whole straight edge thing? If so why?
I feel that I have always been Straightedge. Drinking, drugs, and sex with out love/commitment were things that never interested me. Around 1998 or so a friend introduced me to Earth Crisis and Snapcase, I did some research on this whole "straightedge" thing, and thought - Hey! That's me!
Micah asked Are you pregnant with Missy's child?
Yea....but they could have gotten better actors to play us in the movie version. Arnold Schwarzenegger looks nothing like me and Missy looks nothing like Danny DeVito....
Shabbydo asked What is the one question you are secretly hoping noone will ask you? Now answer it.
Honestly? I am pretty much open to anything. Maybe if you asked me where I kept my porn and then Missy read this...damn it...now I have to answer it? OK, there is a burned DVD in the box under my computer desk.
UberMagus asked If you had to be turned into a Fruit/Vegetable, what would you choose to become, and why?
An orange, because they are delicious! And I know I would be enjoyed!
Annee asked Pancakes or waffles: which do you prefer?
Waffles because they are easier to make at home. Just pop 'em in the toaster. I know they have microwavable pancakes, but they kinda suck.
Norritt asked What's the meaning of life?
I think this is different for each person. For me I think it has something to do with cheesecake. Mmmmm...chesecake.
LadyK asked What is the question for which 42 is the answer?
What is the minimum number of CDs that are to be piled on my computer desk at any given time?
Niobe asked When was the last time you masturbated?
And who is that in your profile pic?
Oh and how much will you pay me to piss on you?
I have not masturbated since a few days before Missy moved in...so...aprox. 24 days!
That is Ronnie from the TV show The Shield. He's hardcore
Just like I told that other guy. I'll give ya two bucks.
Tripleb_79 asked Half empty of half full? The glass i mean or any container for that matter.
Well, if it's a container of Skyline Chili, I would prefer it to be half full, that means I have enjoyed eating the other half!
HoudiniDawg asked Which one of the Three Stooges best resembles you, and why?
I don't think any of them resemble me physicaly, maybe if I went bald and let my hair grow out on the sides and back I would look like Larry.
MisterssMissy asked Why don't you want to try buttsex?
I don't recall me ever saying I didn't.
SignalNoise asked How do you always think to take pictures?
Well, I like looking at pictures of people/freinds and the good times we had. I take more than ever since I have all of SG to share with. It helps that I bought a nice lttle pocketsize digital camera too. And when I do forget, I always regret it later.
CarrotJuice asked Would you sing me a popular jingle from a television commercial?
Alright, what's your favorite pie flavor?
No, I don't let anyone hear me sing. Not even Missy.
I love Key Lime Pie. Either that or Apple.
LightbulbJack asked Mr. X, how does one such as myself become a suave mo-fo like yourself and have all the sexy ladies fall in love with me?
Capripants, wilingness to sleep with CareBears, and other things that bring new meaning to the word shameless. Really...I don't know how it's done. Everything that has happend to me is just dumb luck. I act silly do silly things and people respond. Boyish good looks don't hurt either.
Marv asked Why?
You gotta do soemthing right? Why not? What else is there to do all day but sit in front of the computer and type goofy questions and answers?
Sorcha asked I want your favorite book from each age: child, preteen, teenager, and adult.
Child - I don't remember what it was called but it was about a boy who every night would see a different monster outside his window when he went to bed, but then his dad would come in and turn on the lights and it would be tree branches or an owl or whatever. Untill the last night it really was a monster. I don't remember what happened after that. Maybe the monster ate him.
Preteen - I was in love with the "Three Investigators" book series. I used to get them from the library and I think I read just about all of them. Sometimes they got help from Alfred Hitchcock. I always thought that was a bit odd.
Adult - Hmmm... if I had to choose a novel I would say Glamorama or American Gods. If it was just "book" it would have to be MST3K's Amazing Collosal Episode Guide.
MissBernie asked What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
but seriously,
why the choice to be straight edge?
Would you believe that I never saw that movie? And I would not have even understood that reference if Missy hadn't told me.
For me, there was no other choice. It's how I have always been.
Patch asked you know your friends hot mom that you had a crush on?
please describe her...
I didn't become interested in girls (female He-Man action figures not included) until I was 19. By that time all my friends moms were old and withered.
EMTDan asked Do you secure the body or the head first when you are placing a patient in full cspine precautions.
I'm pretty sure, in a life or death situation, I would fuck it up and kill the person, no matter which one I chose.
Jesephene asked Can I still ask a question, even though I'm a day late?
If you knew someone who lost their love of music completely, what would you suggest they listen to, to find that love again?
Clearly this journal was going to stay up form more than a day. See, I'm lazy
Swing, and big band. That's something that makes you happy, and reminds you that music is suppoed to be fun and makes you wanna dance around.
Unique3 asked if you could cover Missy in ANY kind of icecream, what would it be?
Vanilla. I'm not too picky and I would want somehting that wouldn't overpower the "Missy taste" too much.
Yum!
Akira asked You are alone on a dessert island until the day you die, with no hope of rescue. You can listen to the entire discography of any artist or group, but only one artist or group, who is it and why?
Ministry. They are my all time favorie group. I never get sick of listening to them. In fact, I credit them for opening my eyes to all the cool music and shaping the taste that I have now!
HyperCrew asked So how many girls has that bracelet attracted??
Way too many to count. I Got dragged onto the dancefloor by two hot chicks because of it and I clinched the deal with Missy because of it. It's brought me nothing by good fortune. And I thank you!
Bleeder asked When was the last time you were terrified??
I rarely get scared. Especially at movies. I was a little terrified standing in line for the Millenium Force at Cedar Point last year. But I got over it quick!
HArdbitten asked How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled. I hate runny eggs. Any way other that "well done" is disgusting.
Oninotaki asked Why do they make seperate razors for men and women?
I don't think there is an answer to this. They all look the same to me. Exept guys are balck and grey and girls are pink and baby blue. I guess they figure manly men like oursleves won't buy the pretty colors to shave our faces, nutsacks, etc.
X1 asked How'd you get so fine?
It wasn't easy. Lots of videogames, remote control curls, and hiding from the sun. It's tough. But if you follow my twelve step program you too can be as fine as me. E-mail me for scheduled dates for my next seminar.
Whatshisnuts asked Are you going to do any more nakey sets?
You know, I'd like too. I took a couple that only Missy has seen. And I keep trying to get her to do a Duos set with me. Maybe...keep an eye out....
Saucer asked Are you going to the Alkaline Trio show by any chance?
No, I'm not really a fan. And it's sold out anyway.
Resa asked did u ever drink any alcoholic beverages, or do any drugs before?
I've never had anything more than a sip of beer. It was nasty. And the only drugs I have done are cold medicines, asprins, or things like that. And that's not very often at all.
devil_duckie asked What celebrity would you go gay for?
A Vincent Gallo, Mickey Rourke, and Vince Vaugn gangbang. Yea.
TwoToner asked How do I get rid of these terrible hard water stains?
Are sure that's all they are? Hard water? Likely story. Scrub scrub scrub!
SweetAvenue asked How much do you love Daniel Clowes?
Quite a bit. I first got into him when I was reccomended to read "Like A Velvet Glove Cast In Iron" and I was blown away. I then started reading Eightball on a monthly basis(or however often he decided to put one out). And when I heard Ghost world was being made into a movie I tracked it's progress on the internet, snatching up all the information I could find. And I even drove to Detroit to catch the premiere, since it opened there before it did here. I also own the Ghost World screenplay and the hardcover graphic novel. And now I am quivering with anticipation for his next movie. Even though it's just based on a 4 page comic, I can only imagine how awesme it's going to be!!!!
GirlsInMagazines asked Missy said you're working in Standale now, how's that goin'?
Our grand opening is on Tuesday! It's kinda exciting. I've been working long hours and have been really busy!
Dylan asked vegemite or marmite?
I have never tasted either. I even had to Google those words to find out what they were. Vegimite sounds like a food processor that my parents used to have. Marmite sounds like "Marmot" which reminds me of The Big Lebowski. Now, I don't want to eat any Marmot products, I liked that movie so I'll have to go with that one.
Mikael asked How did you grow a beard so fast and burly?
Ha ha, yea right. I could not shave for a year and I would not have the kick ass beard and mustache that Ronnie has! Ronnie kicks ass!
Unique3 asked Dont you think it's time to update and answer thoes damn questions??
I have been sooo fricking busy. I didn't realize what a chore this was going to be. But...here they are!!!!
Les asked What happened to your profile?
It was due for an overhaul. I get sick of looking at the same answers and I was going to start over from scratch, but I have not had time to fill it all out again.
Kira asked Why is his head so big.......wwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy is his head so big?
I don't even know how to begin to answer this. I'm guessing it's a refernece to a cartoon or something that I don't know about. And Missy is sleeping so I can't ask her for clues. Or maybe you were a tad intoxicated when you wrote this. Or maybe I've just run out of witty responces. I don't know.
0TheAmazingRando aksed Will you come to jeffmorris' house with me to do naked maid service?
Yes. Under two conditions - we listen to "Eiffel 65", (Europop) and we take pictures together in that little photo booth. "Hi from Kodak Theatre" "Greetings from Hollywood & Highland"
MistressMissy asked Why do you love me?
I love you because you are the sweetest, prettiest, nicest, girl I have ever met. You love me back 20 times more that I love you. You honestly care about me and you let me know it all the time. I love everything about you. It's that simple. We are truely compatable and when you don't get too mad when I act like a jerkface. Missy....you complete me.
PRockGirlScout asked Did you ever actually ride that wicked cool SG board, or did you just buy it so you'd look..well...cool?
My skateboarding days are over. I bought it to be cool. Plus I collect crap so I just had to buy one. It's now hanging on my wall.
----------------
And there you have it folks. Now, I have learned my lesson - never bite off more than you can chew. I had to work waaaaay too hard on this. I guess thanks are in order to all of you who asked a question.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
xatreyux:
sgseattle...
mistressmissy:
dont forget to call about the oven