This is me when I was 17, days after I started dating Calvin.
And this is Harry Potter
There is an excellent story within these things, so hang in there.
Calvin and I met as castmates in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. He was 12 years my senior. 17 is legal in Texas, but still no less creepy. From the time we started dating through our engagement, marriage, and when I left him and became a stripper, was exactly one year. But what happened during that year isn't really the important bit. I don't remember much of it anyway.
The bit I want to address today is the breakup. We broke up over Harry Potter. Actually, more specifically we broke up over Wizard People, Dear Reader. If you don't know what that is and you like Harry Potter you REALLY NEED to visit that link I just gave you. The short version is that Wizard People is a freaking hilarious alternate audio track to The Sorcerer's Stone movie performed and written by my once removed friend, genius, and general hilarious/shy man about town Brad Neely.
Now, the first time I viewed Wizard People with Cal he said he liked it. Which is good. Wizard People is kind of a deal-breaker for me. If you don't think Wizard People is funny, we can't date. Not because I'm a snob, it would just never work. So when Brad was doing one of his (now banned by Warner Bros) live performances of WPDR we had tickets to go with my best galpal Lindsay. At the last second Cal and I got in some inane fight (which, of course, I don't even remember now) and he insisted we stay home and continue the argument and that he never thought it was that funny anyway.
I did no such thing. I got in the car, told Lindsay to drive, and met up with Chris K. who I invited to the movie and subsequently shacked up with all weekend. So it goes.
Now, I realize there were probably some other factors that contributed to our breakup, and those things have plagued me. As I've aged and matured like a fine cantankerous wine I've looked back at some of my past relationships and thought 'You know, that person wasn't so bad and probably didn't deserve how I treated them'. So in the back of my mind it's always nagged me if Calvin didn't fall into that category. Did I villify him? Was he not as awful as my admittedly faulty memory serves?
Turns out yes. He's a total tool. And I know this because when I eagerly climbed into the car late July 15th eve, the following happened:
On the way to Harry Potter Six Lindsay decides to call our friend Summer (Summer is Calvin's NEW wife, who I befriended during a short breakup stint they had) to see if she's going to be at the same theater as us and can hold our place in line. Summer texts back informing us that calvin is DIVORCING her, simultaneous to me stating that Calvin recently randomly requested my friendship on facebook. She agrees to save our spot but when we arive she is on the steps smoking a cigarette and sheepishly admits Calvin is holding our place.
Awesome. But whatever, I can be cool. He is pretty much a d-bag with his stupid jokes 'Oh its like a meeting of my ex-wives' Me-'Well then you should stop collecting them.' And so on. But here's the thing- Summer was the perfect girl for him. She's nonconfrontational and sweet and cute and if he isnt happy with her, then by God he would have never been happy with me anyway.
And so years of doubt and guilt, spurned on by Harry Potter, are bookended with my favorite HP movie so far.
And in other news: me and
kaitlinjeter, my new favorite lady friend tore it up in the BryanCollegeStation. Here we are disgusted at IHOP
And a nice boy we met from a band called Flawless Escape.
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Once more for you HP lovers- I am getting my left arm sleeved in a Harry theme. Any suggestions on things that ABSOLUTELY have to be in it?
