Ahhh sacre bleu!!!!
Damn it Sammyfreudianslip I had a moment remembering my darlingest dear- tea parties in the garden of versailles (yes the Palace) our epic music battle...no one won of course -we enjoyed all the same music
although if I remember correct he liked musicals??? I cant attest to that but he was alittle that way so, I guess the bastard won if that's true- I love all kinds of music but I would rather knaw my own index finger then be subjected to that mary poopins shit
but I adored that he adored opera and classical and was sooo excited when I cursed him and later sent him Womans Worth by Kate Bush (she in my eyes is the original diva)....I thought I was schoolin him and he laughed so excited- because he always loved her music too!
I miss our truth of the matters in our blunt way and I loved the day he threw a tantrum and thought that he was in the right for taking his bad day out on everyone
I remember telling him " You had your tantrum, it's no one elses job to clean up after you or take your shit so suck it up and clean your mess!" I thought no way he is EVER going to speak to me again, same way he found me he will be letting me go....I might as well hit delete for him!!!
The great thing about this site, this place is; we are who we are and anyone who is faking it up in here is a dumb fuck. If people don't like my blogs dont read it, dont find me attractive-keep trollin, dont like tattoos or piercings or find it odd that i care about my carbon foot print and the state of social conscious and economic reform while - naked; well then your likely on the wrong site and surely have no business in my profile and probably should allow your browser to redirect to www.justlikeveryothertomdickandharry.com where everyone gives a damn about nothing and no one is upset or offended because they have been selected as willing participants in the new lobatomy experiment!!!
Freudianslip would have the right things to say to cure my ailing heart and would be proud of me fighting my fear and letting go of the last shred of that person i once was. that person that gave herself away or could give a shit and never knew where the balance lay. Today I claimed me first and I will continue to do so in my life. I know others will be disappointed and may think it a betrayal of some sort, but I realized the moment i started giving myself away is the moment the chains bound me. i broke free once before and here I was back at giving myself away to make others happy and comfortable and i can't, I will not sacrafice my happiness, he would understand and i could sobb and feel like I was close-cuddled up safe with him.he would remind me that you can't lose what is yours and if you do lose it- it wasn't yours in the first place! Very oxymoranish i know and i would retort" yes i know, but people are different. We can't posess them we are human and individuals meant to live unto ourselves, emotions and love bind us to thinking we belong to someone else, when really to love deeply and truly is a sacred gift!" and he would stop me and say shut up and get out of your head before you slit your fucking wrists!!! ...the witty reparte how I loved it.......
he even consoled me once when i freaked about doing spelling bees in school and that I wasn't ever miss perfect grammer and punctuation, but I was damn good....and now I am just embarassed at how half of what i write looks like and too damn lazy to go back and fix it
I find it peculiar the connection you can feel to a total stranger and swore often somewhere in life he was my older brother or twin. If it were of my doing and as much as i love my own brother and i am not oblivious to his taudry bit i would have chosen sammy without question. So now i dry my tears and wish him the sweetest sleep ever and thank the heavens I had him for however a time, thankful I always told him i loved him because I never knew that day I'd never be able to again....and it all started with the origin of evangelin and oh how i cried when i found out why he was so curious about it.........the universe astounds me and what a lucky lucky girl i have been to know the story of him!
Damn it Sammyfreudianslip I had a moment remembering my darlingest dear- tea parties in the garden of versailles (yes the Palace) our epic music battle...no one won of course -we enjoyed all the same music
although if I remember correct he liked musicals??? I cant attest to that but he was alittle that way so, I guess the bastard won if that's true- I love all kinds of music but I would rather knaw my own index finger then be subjected to that mary poopins shit but I adored that he adored opera and classical and was sooo excited when I cursed him and later sent him Womans Worth by Kate Bush (she in my eyes is the original diva)....I thought I was schoolin him and he laughed so excited- because he always loved her music too!
I miss our truth of the matters in our blunt way and I loved the day he threw a tantrum and thought that he was in the right for taking his bad day out on everyone
I remember telling him " You had your tantrum, it's no one elses job to clean up after you or take your shit so suck it up and clean your mess!" I thought no way he is EVER going to speak to me again, same way he found me he will be letting me go....I might as well hit delete for him!!!
The great thing about this site, this place is; we are who we are and anyone who is faking it up in here is a dumb fuck. If people don't like my blogs dont read it, dont find me attractive-keep trollin, dont like tattoos or piercings or find it odd that i care about my carbon foot print and the state of social conscious and economic reform while - naked; well then your likely on the wrong site and surely have no business in my profile and probably should allow your browser to redirect to www.justlikeveryothertomdickandharry.com where everyone gives a damn about nothing and no one is upset or offended because they have been selected as willing participants in the new lobatomy experiment!!!
Freudianslip would have the right things to say to cure my ailing heart and would be proud of me fighting my fear and letting go of the last shred of that person i once was. that person that gave herself away or could give a shit and never knew where the balance lay. Today I claimed me first and I will continue to do so in my life. I know others will be disappointed and may think it a betrayal of some sort, but I realized the moment i started giving myself away is the moment the chains bound me. i broke free once before and here I was back at giving myself away to make others happy and comfortable and i can't, I will not sacrafice my happiness, he would understand and i could sobb and feel like I was close-cuddled up safe with him.he would remind me that you can't lose what is yours and if you do lose it- it wasn't yours in the first place! Very oxymoranish i know and i would retort" yes i know, but people are different. We can't posess them we are human and individuals meant to live unto ourselves, emotions and love bind us to thinking we belong to someone else, when really to love deeply and truly is a sacred gift!" and he would stop me and say shut up and get out of your head before you slit your fucking wrists!!! ...the witty reparte how I loved it.......
he even consoled me once when i freaked about doing spelling bees in school and that I wasn't ever miss perfect grammer and punctuation, but I was damn good....and now I am just embarassed at how half of what i write looks like and too damn lazy to go back and fix it
I find it peculiar the connection you can feel to a total stranger and swore often somewhere in life he was my older brother or twin. If it were of my doing and as much as i love my own brother and i am not oblivious to his taudry bit i would have chosen sammy without question. So now i dry my tears and wish him the sweetest sleep ever and thank the heavens I had him for however a time, thankful I always told him i loved him because I never knew that day I'd never be able to again....and it all started with the origin of evangelin and oh how i cried when i found out why he was so curious about it.........the universe astounds me and what a lucky lucky girl i have been to know the story of him!
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I hope things are better today for you..