I managed not to drink tonight....serious detox, off the sauce since 
um 
Saturday Night at HR Live. PS -Smashing Pumpkins GA seating only??? I don't care if they were filming PORN...no balcony? That would be another fine mess my roomie got me into. When I invited her ass to shows they were balcony, near bar and the loo and involved drinking heavily for free at Velvet lounge and smoking hookas. She gets free tickets to filming something....It had POURED for over a week straight, it rained that night and the line was out the fucking Ying Yang. Did I mention she never waited on line when I invited her to shit???? NO! She didn't, cause I don't do lines. Irish Pub for dinner 
Mcdonalds has better quality. I drank some nasty something to drown the sound of the dueling black dudes on Piano. A friend of mine got us into Art bar which was private event for the sponsors. Thanks 
That bar also serves Live so it's wide open on both sides. So after noting that everyone in Art Bar that went over to watch the show would return frequently because it was a Cluster Fuck and HOT as Horse Pooh on a cold winters day, and probably smelled like it considering MOST of everyone there had been waiting for HOURS in the rain to see the show 
...(sigh) I kept my happy ass at the bar-drinking and watching the bartender and commenting on how drunk everyone was. Until we were leaving that is. I must have been tippin the hell out of homeboy cause my drinks were STRONG and I suppose when I was standing on the chair watching the show, I Missed that Sapphire and 7 didn't exactly do much but wait for me to attempt one foot infront of the other in my cute boots.
The power of my age and experiance is having faked sober under FAR worse conditions for a Far more discerning group of people
Although I complain-Tim managed to not irratate me as much as I thought he would, or it could be because Steph was in the middle of us and he had to dodge the water trickling on his head That's her man though and he does try(too hard) but again .
Speaking of age and experiance. I am addicted to Mob Wars on Facebook and for some reason looked At people that I graduated high school with just now. I just in my mouth. They are mostly old looking and still in Jersey. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Just sayin I feel like I'm 21 without the angst and act like a freaking child, well not child, Let's say far younger, than I am, not far younger than a child 
...So what's the deal with that??? I'd wonder if something was wrong with me, single, no children, not working , not concerned in the least about it, and preping for the next BIG thing. I detox, these chicks are getting Botox. I am naked here. They are -average WOW that's what sent me running, that's what sends me running in MY life. AVERAGE. 
That is my fear. To settle on an average exsistance, with an average guy, in a average job- HATING myself because I dumbed it down and settled for safe! Well now that I have just identified what scares the bejesus out of me I will say -- FUCK ABUNCHA THAT!!!! I am sooooo not goin down on that ship. I almost did it..I admit I did, I fell for a guy that really i had no business with. I barely came out of that relationship intact. In fact I wasn't, I'd lost myself, likely because I didn't fully know who I was to begin with and possibly because I would not have had the courage or faith in myself to be where I am today-unemployeed with the world at my fingertips! The choices that I have made in the past few years have taken me right out of settling for anything or anyone and made me understand.....I am meant to live my higher life. Despite or perhaps inspite of myself!
Me, myself and I are best friends now, THE BEST and If I see that little pattern try and sneak up on me again. I will KILL IT!
for me Average is lacking faith that I can have all that I desire from a person, career, my life, whatever I desire. God carried me out of a very bad situation and gave me the strength to move on despite all that's happened since. I would not dishonor him or myself, by repeating old habits or letting fear rule me.
With that, I say thanks to stumbling on that reality check of the bizzaro world. Sometimes we need a wakeup call to remind us, why we need to stay true to ourselves,as unconventional as ourselves may be, even if at times it's an uncomfortable or lonely path we've chosen. The greater good prevails and nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that BLAH BLAH BLAH. AND my happy ass will be in LA next week for several days. Still waiting for the shock to settle in and not so certain why I just suddenly booked it without thought. NO plan, No thought, didn't dicuss it and no one knows i'm going!!! I confuse myself sometimes. Mais, cest la vie...and I'm glad to be liven it!
Long ass blog today. My eyes are heavy and I have to go to the bathroom and I want a cigarette...OH and you know what? One day I might fall madly, passionately in love with someone as whacked out as I am, only different then me....and he might be strong enough to want to spend the rest of his life loving me ,while trying to figure me out, and any guy that dings on my three page list of qualities I want in a man and can make me lose train of thought, I will marry him without hesitation and we may even have a child or 2 absolute non negotiable MAXIMUM. If that should happen-so be it, eventhough commiting to parenthood scares me third next to marriage, which runs second to Average exsistance, which is relative to HELL ON EARTH! But i'll know because the right man is the only one that would be able to get me to commit my life under God and THAT I know for certain! I defy anyone to challenge my ability to dodge commitment. Spooky how man like I am. POINT WAS- If that day comes...we will be the ones people cock there heads at, cause they don't get it and they wish to hell that they did. And I will be the MILF NEXT DOOR-don't worry about your men ladies, cause I am more than happy with mine and PS -here's your welcome to the neighborhood brownies, tell your sons and your husband and your pool boy and your mannie and your maid oh and your sister too-there is a $5.00 per offense charge for undressing me with there eyes in front of my children. It's free when hubby is around we get off on the attention and other things
The ending to that song resonates deeply...
um Saturday Night at HR Live. PS -Smashing Pumpkins GA seating only??? I don't care if they were filming PORN...no balcony? That would be another fine mess my roomie got me into. When I invited her ass to shows they were balcony, near bar and the loo and involved drinking heavily for free at Velvet lounge and smoking hookas. She gets free tickets to filming something....It had POURED for over a week straight, it rained that night and the line was out the fucking Ying Yang. Did I mention she never waited on line when I invited her to shit???? NO! She didn't, cause I don't do lines. Irish Pub for dinner Mcdonalds has better quality. I drank some nasty something to drown the sound of the dueling black dudes on Piano. A friend of mine got us into Art bar which was private event for the sponsors. Thanks That bar also serves Live so it's wide open on both sides. So after noting that everyone in Art Bar that went over to watch the show would return frequently because it was a Cluster Fuck and HOT as Horse Pooh on a cold winters day, and probably smelled like it considering MOST of everyone there had been waiting for HOURS in the rain to see the show ...(sigh) I kept my happy ass at the bar-drinking and watching the bartender and commenting on how drunk everyone was. Until we were leaving that is. I must have been tippin the hell out of homeboy cause my drinks were STRONG and I suppose when I was standing on the chair watching the show, I Missed that Sapphire and 7 didn't exactly do much but wait for me to attempt one foot infront of the other in my cute boots.
The power of my age and experiance is having faked sober under FAR worse conditions for a Far more discerning group of people
Although I complain-Tim managed to not irratate me as much as I thought he would, or it could be because Steph was in the middle of us and he had to dodge the water trickling on his head That's her man though and he does try(too hard) but again .
Speaking of age and experiance. I am addicted to Mob Wars on Facebook and for some reason looked At people that I graduated high school with just now. I just
in my mouth. They are mostly old looking and still in Jersey. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Just sayin I feel like I'm 21 without the angst and act like a freaking child, well not child, Let's say far younger, than I am, not far younger than a child ...So what's the deal with that??? I'd wonder if something was wrong with me, single, no children, not working , not concerned in the least about it, and preping for the next BIG thing. I detox, these chicks are getting Botox. I am naked here. They are -average WOW that's what sent me running, that's what sends me running in MY life. AVERAGE. That is my fear. To settle on an average exsistance, with an average guy, in a average job- HATING myself because I dumbed it down and settled for safe! Well now that I have just identified what scares the bejesus out of me I will say -- FUCK ABUNCHA THAT!!!! I am sooooo not goin down on that ship. I almost did it..I admit I did, I fell for a guy that really i had no business with. I barely came out of that relationship intact. In fact I wasn't, I'd lost myself, likely because I didn't fully know who I was to begin with and possibly because I would not have had the courage or faith in myself to be where I am today-unemployeed with the world at my fingertips! The choices that I have made in the past few years have taken me right out of settling for anything or anyone and made me understand.....I am meant to live my higher life. Despite or perhaps inspite of myself!
Me, myself and I are best friends now, THE BEST and If I see that little pattern try and sneak up on me again. I will KILL IT!
for me Average is lacking faith that I can have all that I desire from a person, career, my life, whatever I desire. God carried me out of a very bad situation and gave me the strength to move on despite all that's happened since. I would not dishonor him or myself, by repeating old habits or letting fear rule me.
With that, I say thanks to stumbling on that reality check of the bizzaro world. Sometimes we need a wakeup call to remind us, why we need to stay true to ourselves,as unconventional as ourselves may be, even if at times it's an uncomfortable or lonely path we've chosen. The greater good prevails and nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that BLAH BLAH BLAH. AND my happy ass will be in LA next week for several days. Still waiting for the shock to settle in and not so certain why I just suddenly booked it without thought. NO plan, No thought, didn't dicuss it and no one knows i'm going!!! I confuse myself sometimes. Mais, cest la vie...and I'm glad to be liven it!
Long ass blog today. My eyes are heavy and I have to go to the bathroom and I want a cigarette...OH and you know what? One day I might fall madly, passionately in love with someone as whacked out as I am, only different then me....and he might be strong enough to want to spend the rest of his life loving me ,while trying to figure me out, and any guy that dings on my three page list of qualities I want in a man and can make me lose train of thought, I will marry him without hesitation and we may even have a child or 2 absolute non negotiable MAXIMUM. If that should happen-so be it, eventhough commiting to parenthood scares me third next to marriage, which runs second to Average exsistance, which is relative to HELL ON EARTH! But i'll know because the right man is the only one that would be able to get me to commit my life under God and THAT I know for certain! I defy anyone to challenge my ability to dodge commitment. Spooky how man like I am. POINT WAS- If that day comes...we will be the ones people cock there heads at, cause they don't get it and they wish to hell that they did. And I will be the MILF NEXT DOOR-don't worry about your men ladies, cause I am more than happy with mine and PS -here's your welcome to the neighborhood brownies, tell your sons and your husband and your pool boy and your mannie and your maid oh and your sister too-there is a $5.00 per offense charge for undressing me with there eyes in front of my children. It's free when hubby is around we get off on the attention and other things
The ending to that song resonates deeply...
lizaeth:
Hey girl! I like the new pic again. Are you experimenting until you find the right one or is this is. Change and variety are good.
I like the new pic again. Are you experimenting until you find the right one or is this is. Change and variety are good.
silencia:
You're so sweet. Thank you, lady