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i'm filled with a lot of anger and hate.
i'm scared and mad.
i'm annoyed and unhappy.
i feel un attractive and un worthy.
i need to relocate.
i can only think of one other place i call home and it's so far from reach.
if i tried harder, maybe i would deserve something good to come from my life.

i wish our economy was still in surplus.
i wish i had my family back; the money, the stability and routine i grew up having. it's like it's beed ripped from me, forever. almost makes me want to have kids, just to give them a better life, a life i never had.

i've had the idea lately that maybe if i had some sort of addiction, i would fit in better with my family. perhaps, if i got addicted to cocaine, i would lose those extra pounds i've been pineing for, and i could fit in a little better? i already have a couple kick ass rings with secret compartments, i could pull it off rather well.
ovbiously, it's just an idea, a stupid one at that, so no comments on that, please. don't tell me not to, cause that would just piss me off, especially since i just said not to mention it.

i almost feel like i've said a little more in this journal about my actual personal life than i would have liked to.

Live Journal has become a place i would rather not tread for a while, maybe that's why i feel okay about using this journal a little more personally, now?
sounds about right.

please feel free to send picked boogers to:
your mom
1234 insert her address here
somecraphole place, liketheone ilivein 56789

i wish i wasn't fat.