I decided to post this here because i really feel the need to write this somewhere where it is concievable that it will be viewed, but I didn't want to post a bulletin, where it is so blaring.
I haven't felt this way for a long time - even before the breakup. Recently I've really wanted to spend time with someone specific - but I am still really gaurded after Kelsey. I've been in a mode where I've kind of drifted from everyone but my 3 closest friends and my brother.
As for my friends - Kelsey, Crystal, and Joel - I do owe you all a lot right now, but I don't think anyone can help me with this.
I really like her - and not only do i like her - she has a genuine soul and a positive energy - and I have really missed that over the last couple years. In the waning months of my relationship with kelsey, it became less about passion and love for her, and more about companionship. I wasn't ready to let go of things like true passion.
But here I am again. I mentioned earlier that I had been trying to distance myself - this was for two reasons. 1) I was so afraid that I didn't really have any friends. So I thought, if i distance myself from my "Friends" I will be able to fake myself into believing that this problem is voluntary. and 2) Because I am tired of being hurt
Ah-a! Ready folks? Here comes the trick - watch closely - In all of this caution and planning, etc - I may have actually fallen for someone - and I don't think she knows it. In fact, I'm pretty sure she's head over heels for some other guy. I don't know who it is, But i have an Idea.
So what the fuck, right? I mean, if i'm soooo mopey after the Kelsey breakup, and still kinda gaurded from the good-bad-good-bad nature of my relationship with Rach, what makes me think that this will be any different? Like i said - It's all about energy. Her energy.
Life's rough for me right now - But when i am around her, even though it's for small amounts of time - I just - get so happy. I love being in that mood. She's an awesome person.
And I don't know what to do. I don't have any idea what she thinks of me or whether I should try talking to her about this - but these feelings are so... abrupt. Ususally when this happens it's somebody that I've either known well for a long time, or someone I JUST meet and go right for the relationship. This is in-between.
Anyway - I have hopes that SOMEONE will see this, and if you do, please feel free to comment or message me with some... ahem... insight.
As for you, girl - If you do happen to see this, I can't help but wonder if you'll know I'm talking about you. I imagine you will - but there is about a 1/7866 chance this will ever reach your screen.
Anywho---
First Blog.
Uplifting, No?
-Eliot
I haven't felt this way for a long time - even before the breakup. Recently I've really wanted to spend time with someone specific - but I am still really gaurded after Kelsey. I've been in a mode where I've kind of drifted from everyone but my 3 closest friends and my brother.
As for my friends - Kelsey, Crystal, and Joel - I do owe you all a lot right now, but I don't think anyone can help me with this.
I really like her - and not only do i like her - she has a genuine soul and a positive energy - and I have really missed that over the last couple years. In the waning months of my relationship with kelsey, it became less about passion and love for her, and more about companionship. I wasn't ready to let go of things like true passion.
But here I am again. I mentioned earlier that I had been trying to distance myself - this was for two reasons. 1) I was so afraid that I didn't really have any friends. So I thought, if i distance myself from my "Friends" I will be able to fake myself into believing that this problem is voluntary. and 2) Because I am tired of being hurt
Ah-a! Ready folks? Here comes the trick - watch closely - In all of this caution and planning, etc - I may have actually fallen for someone - and I don't think she knows it. In fact, I'm pretty sure she's head over heels for some other guy. I don't know who it is, But i have an Idea.
So what the fuck, right? I mean, if i'm soooo mopey after the Kelsey breakup, and still kinda gaurded from the good-bad-good-bad nature of my relationship with Rach, what makes me think that this will be any different? Like i said - It's all about energy. Her energy.
Life's rough for me right now - But when i am around her, even though it's for small amounts of time - I just - get so happy. I love being in that mood. She's an awesome person.
And I don't know what to do. I don't have any idea what she thinks of me or whether I should try talking to her about this - but these feelings are so... abrupt. Ususally when this happens it's somebody that I've either known well for a long time, or someone I JUST meet and go right for the relationship. This is in-between.
Anyway - I have hopes that SOMEONE will see this, and if you do, please feel free to comment or message me with some... ahem... insight.
As for you, girl - If you do happen to see this, I can't help but wonder if you'll know I'm talking about you. I imagine you will - but there is about a 1/7866 chance this will ever reach your screen.
Anywho---
First Blog.
Uplifting, No?
-Eliot
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I was away for a while myself. How's things your end?