Warning: self-involved soap opera to follow ...
Well, tree banch boy seems to have fucked off.
I don't know what it was about, really, he just stopped calling. *shrug* His loss, I guess. He lived really far away. I mean, I once broke up with a guy because he lived in Pilsen. Okay, I'm not that shallow. Really, I broke up with him because I wanted to hook up with this girl N (who I've talked about before). But the whole living in Pilsen thing didn't help. Then I met a kid who lived in Hyde Park, and that was kind of a chore, but at least we both had cars at the time. He'll actually be returning to this entry later on. So tree branch boy lives in the faraway suburbs (actually, the suburb borders Chicago, but is farfaraway from me), and he was lovely and kind and would drive up to see me...but I guess he had enough of that, or enough of me, or something. It kinda makes me sad...I mean, he was a hard nut to crack and we have very different life plans, so it's not as though it was going to last...but burning bridges makes me sad, and I have this feeling like our bridge has burned--not just the kissing bridge, but the enjoying each other's company in a strictly platonic way bridge, too.
It's for the best, though, I think, I know, as there is tons of other boytypedrama in my life right now, and it wouldn't have been fair to drag him into it. For the one, for some unexplained reason I am back in touch with my first love, who hasn't changed a molecule, a quark even, since we broke up seven years ago. He's an older guy (and I do mean older--he's 40 now. He was 32 and I was 16 and it was thrilling and wrong.) I mean, he's been married and divorced and started a production company and gotten his master's degree, but he hasn't changed even a little when it comes to me. This is what I mean--on Saturday I asked him to do me a favor and help me pick up a bed for my new apartment because he a has a big SUVish thing. So he says "sure, yeah, of course, and when we're done I'm going to take you to a fancy spa in Wisconsin and buy you champagne and flowers and a massage and I don't expect anything in return, I just want to treat you like a princess." And I am weak and poor and like nice things and so I shrugged and said "okay." We ended up not going because he got asked to MC for some stupid Mayor Daley whachamabob at Soldier Field on Sunday morning, so we are going on Wednesday instead. It's just this strange thing--I want him to be cold to me. I want him to tell me I'm using him. But he won't. He just whines and says "Oh, Clare, I just love you do much," and he kisses me on the forehead and I look down at his shoes and say "Hey, let's look at naked girls on the internet."
Then there is the boy with the crooked smile, who is also married and divorced and who I had the strangest conversation with on Friday at lunch. I was reviewing the Peninsula and he agreed to come and we were sitting there in the splendor of this beautiful lobby and I was drinking a vodka martini and he said "It's funny, but I just pictured you with an engagement ring on your finger." And I frowned and my heart skipped a beat and the first thing I thought was 'Well, Tiffany is right downstairs.' Then I started babbling about how I actually have an engagement ring, it was my grandmother's and it needs to be reset to fit me and if anyone ever proposes to me I guess it won't really be a surprise since they're going to have to ask for the ring first and he said "Well, you should give it to your mom. Then the person who's going to propose can just it from her and you'll never have to know." It was odd. I think I might be falling in love with him
Then there is the boy from Hyde Park, who I met in the middle of June and thought was just lovely and saw four or five times before he went off to Europe for the summer. Just before he left he left, he said this: "You know how you need to move in Septmeber and you want to be further south?"
"Yeah..."
"And how I need to move in September and I want to be further north?"
"Yeah...."
"Well....."
So we're moving in together, and I don't have a fucking clue what's going to happen. There will actually be three of us, the third being a boy he knows from childhood who's at NU Law. Who I haven't actually met yet. Which is always dangerous. So what's going to happen between me and the boy from Hyde Park? Are we just friends now? I've been using his return an an excuse to put an expiration date on humoring First Love. What about Crooked Smile? He'll be far away now. By far I mean six miles instead of 1 and a half. Should I just wipe the slate clean with all of them? How did my life turn into this?
Well, tree banch boy seems to have fucked off.
I don't know what it was about, really, he just stopped calling. *shrug* His loss, I guess. He lived really far away. I mean, I once broke up with a guy because he lived in Pilsen. Okay, I'm not that shallow. Really, I broke up with him because I wanted to hook up with this girl N (who I've talked about before). But the whole living in Pilsen thing didn't help. Then I met a kid who lived in Hyde Park, and that was kind of a chore, but at least we both had cars at the time. He'll actually be returning to this entry later on. So tree branch boy lives in the faraway suburbs (actually, the suburb borders Chicago, but is farfaraway from me), and he was lovely and kind and would drive up to see me...but I guess he had enough of that, or enough of me, or something. It kinda makes me sad...I mean, he was a hard nut to crack and we have very different life plans, so it's not as though it was going to last...but burning bridges makes me sad, and I have this feeling like our bridge has burned--not just the kissing bridge, but the enjoying each other's company in a strictly platonic way bridge, too.
It's for the best, though, I think, I know, as there is tons of other boytypedrama in my life right now, and it wouldn't have been fair to drag him into it. For the one, for some unexplained reason I am back in touch with my first love, who hasn't changed a molecule, a quark even, since we broke up seven years ago. He's an older guy (and I do mean older--he's 40 now. He was 32 and I was 16 and it was thrilling and wrong.) I mean, he's been married and divorced and started a production company and gotten his master's degree, but he hasn't changed even a little when it comes to me. This is what I mean--on Saturday I asked him to do me a favor and help me pick up a bed for my new apartment because he a has a big SUVish thing. So he says "sure, yeah, of course, and when we're done I'm going to take you to a fancy spa in Wisconsin and buy you champagne and flowers and a massage and I don't expect anything in return, I just want to treat you like a princess." And I am weak and poor and like nice things and so I shrugged and said "okay." We ended up not going because he got asked to MC for some stupid Mayor Daley whachamabob at Soldier Field on Sunday morning, so we are going on Wednesday instead. It's just this strange thing--I want him to be cold to me. I want him to tell me I'm using him. But he won't. He just whines and says "Oh, Clare, I just love you do much," and he kisses me on the forehead and I look down at his shoes and say "Hey, let's look at naked girls on the internet."
Then there is the boy with the crooked smile, who is also married and divorced and who I had the strangest conversation with on Friday at lunch. I was reviewing the Peninsula and he agreed to come and we were sitting there in the splendor of this beautiful lobby and I was drinking a vodka martini and he said "It's funny, but I just pictured you with an engagement ring on your finger." And I frowned and my heart skipped a beat and the first thing I thought was 'Well, Tiffany is right downstairs.' Then I started babbling about how I actually have an engagement ring, it was my grandmother's and it needs to be reset to fit me and if anyone ever proposes to me I guess it won't really be a surprise since they're going to have to ask for the ring first and he said "Well, you should give it to your mom. Then the person who's going to propose can just it from her and you'll never have to know." It was odd. I think I might be falling in love with him
Then there is the boy from Hyde Park, who I met in the middle of June and thought was just lovely and saw four or five times before he went off to Europe for the summer. Just before he left he left, he said this: "You know how you need to move in Septmeber and you want to be further south?"
"Yeah..."
"And how I need to move in September and I want to be further north?"
"Yeah...."
"Well....."
So we're moving in together, and I don't have a fucking clue what's going to happen. There will actually be three of us, the third being a boy he knows from childhood who's at NU Law. Who I haven't actually met yet. Which is always dangerous. So what's going to happen between me and the boy from Hyde Park? Are we just friends now? I've been using his return an an excuse to put an expiration date on humoring First Love. What about Crooked Smile? He'll be far away now. By far I mean six miles instead of 1 and a half. Should I just wipe the slate clean with all of them? How did my life turn into this?
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