esme

So I'm in this weird situation right now, and I can't figure out whether it's out of high school or Sex and the City. I'm thinking high school, 'cause it's pretty lame and I'm thinking about it way too more than it probably deserve. Although they do that in SatC, too. Anyway, so I took this one undergrad lit class last semester, and I felt all alone and friendless, because unlike my grad seminers, where some or all of my classmates were in their first term like me, most of these kids were seniors, have been in classes together for awhile and so already have their little friend-pods, casual as they may be.
About midway through the semester, I realized that a few of them would go out and smoke after class, so I started going out and smoking and chatting with them. I would chat in particular with this dude named Ben. So, the end of the semester comes, we all finished our finals early and stood outside for awhile talking about what a bullshit class it was (oh, what a bullshit class it was!) and then I just kinda took off. Later that day I was on campus and I ran into Ben and he was all "hey can I get your number," and I was all "yeah, sure, whateva."
At some point over break he called but didn't leave a message. Then I found out I got a B in this class (I don't get B's) and I was uber pissed and I sent him a text asking him what he got (we had both agreed that the midterm and final were just ridonkulous but he had told me that his final paper was 5 pages and a piece of crap, whereas mine was 12 pages and I had poured my heart into it, so it wasn't like a competition thing). So he texted me back and said he got a B and asked what I got and I told him (and said I wasn't happy). So then he phoned the next day to say he hoped he didn't come off weird (in a text message!? ummm... ) and that he was really sorry about my B and did I want to come out for a beer or something. I told him I was going out with my scooter girls that night but he was welcome to show up and he said, well, he was going out with some friends and would see if they were up for it. So, they never came, which was fine, and then a few days later he called (left a message) to say that he was having a salon at his house if I wanted to come (he had told me before about his salons but they were always during another one of my classes) but I was busy that day and never called him back...and then today he called me to see if I wanted to get a beer tonight and I said I had to pack (which I do, and this is also going to be the first time in over a year that pA and I have been apart for more than 24 hours straight (sick, aren't we?) so of course I had to spend the evening with him) but anyway, my point is, I don't think I've ever told this kid I have a boyfriend, and I don't know for certain that he has a crush on me but kind of get that feeling, so it's like, do I just keep making excuses? I'm not opposed to hanging out with him, I just don't want him to get the wrong idea. And I feel bad that he's invited me out several times and I've never returned the gesture. But I would feel bad if I just totally started ignoring him, because he's never done anything to deserve that. I think the ideal thing to do would be to go to one of the salons, which is a situation that in no way can be interpreted as a date, and somehow work pA into the convo there, and see what happens then. Any advice? Garrr, I sound like such a crapper--what's wrong with me that I assume every guy that wants to hang out with me, wants to fuck me. Arrogant bitch