esme

I hate Christmas shopping. I like that it makes some people super happy, because I like it when other people are super happy, but the whole deal always ends up making me feel incredibly guilty, a) because I honestly don't need anything except really practical shit like a whisk. I really need a whisk. I was trying to make crepes the other day and I couldn't get the lumps out of the flour because I didn't have a whisk. I also desperatly need a new printer cartridge. I swear i've gone through five since August and b) when I do get things from people I end up feeling incredibly guilty because I didn't get anything for them since I assume that they are in the same boat as me of not wanting any more clutter in their life. But then when I do get something, I tend to hang on to it forever, because as much as I hate to admit it, I'm an incredibly sentimental person, and I'm probably going to have that lopsided papier-mache picture frame with the really bad photo of me and my best friend M in seventh grade with our huge earrings and bad haricuts for the rest of my life. So here's the deal: don't get me a Christmas present. Instead, take your money and get that paper towel holder you've been needing but never got around to picking up. And give me a hug next time I see you and tell me all about it.

That said, remarkably, both of my parents have asked me in the last week what I want for my birthday/Christmas. This is a whole different ball of wax, what with the lack of expected reciprocity and the whole fact that they can afford things that I really do need but don't want to admit it because I can't afford them. So my dad is getting me a riding jacket and my mom is paying me back for a new pair of glasses. Not exactly sentimental stuff, but they'll certainly improve my quality of life.