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Well, this is going to my last blog for a couple of days. The next few days could change my life dramatically. Tomorrow, Pezmaster is taking me to my hometown of Charleston. Normally, this would be a typical visit with my brother and his girlfriend who are really the only ones who associate with me anymore. However, this trip is going to be a little more crazy for me. It is sort of a long story, but I will try to condense it to the point that it doesn't bore you to death. If you choose to continue reading, then grab a bag of popcorn because the events of this weekend could ultimately be made into a movie!

[SPOILER]
When I was around 3 years old, my parents got a divorce. Before the divorce was final, my mother had already started dating another man. He was at our house constantly and was often there more than my biological father. So my sister and I eventually starting calling him "Daddy Robert," because at this point we had two fathers in a way. A few years later, shortly after I turned 6 years old my biological father stop coming to get me and my sister for the weekend or coming to the house to visit altogether. My mother told us it was because he did not want to pay child support and that eventually "Daddy Robert" would be the only daddy we would have. Sadly, I remember the last day my biological father came to visit. I know I was only six but I was old enough to understand what was going on. I overheard a conversation. Basically, my biological father told my mother that he did not want to deal with all the drama anymore, especially the drama surrounding me due to my disability. So for years, I thought this is why he left and was hurt deeply about it. My mother further reinforced this feeling of him abandoning and not loving me the same as my sister with making comments like, "He never hugged or kissed you," "He bought your sister presents but no you," and my all time favorite, "You are a burden to many of us and he couldn't handle the pressure." So after hearing all this for years, I grew to hate my biological father because at this point I thought everything my mother said was the gospel and refused to believe any other version of the story.

Eventually, shortly after I turned 11, my stepfather (my mother and him got married as soon as her divorce was final) decided to legally adopt my sister and I. So I got a new last name. Years later my parents had a little boy together and he was never told that his daddy was not the same as my sister and I. In fact, he knew no different until he was 16. Over these years, my mother never spoke badly about my biological father, but I still hated him. Why wouldn't I? I had every right to. It disgusted me to think that one of your parents did not love you simply because you were born disabled. I struggled enough as a child due to this without that guilt being added to it. Did I ask to be born different? Of course not! Did I like hearing that my birth ruined everyone's life-''NO!"

So now life is continuing as normally and gifts start appearing in the mailbox around the holidays. My parents inform my sister and I that they were hidden there by Santa or whatever as a surprise. Back then, we believed them. Now, however I am learning differently. Also during the time of the adoption my biological father remarried and had two more children of his own, twins actually. So, now including my brother Robert I had three actual half siblings. My biological father tried to bring the twins, who are named Daniel and Kristina, around when they about six months old so that we could be introduced to them. My parents however, refused to let them in the house. Even though my sister and I were looking out the window screaming, "Daddy is here, daddy is here." So from that day it was made apparent that my parents wanted my sister and I had to have absolutely no contact with our biological father.

I later learned around the time of my graduation from high school that my biological father tried to come see me graduate. Out of spite however, my mother told him that I attended one high school instead of another. Once this happened, my sister began to become much more curious about coming in contact with our biological father. I on the other hand, still hated him.

Then in 2001, my sister and I decided we wanted to meet Daniel and Kristina. Our parents were fine with that as long as we had no contact with our biological father. So we contacted their mother, thanks to some investigating over the internet, and set up a day to meet. At this point the twins were around 11 years old. I was 20 and my sister was 19.

I will never forget that day. When I walked into their house I was completely shocked at what was in front of me. My brother Daniel looked just like me. My brother who is my step-father looks like me as well, but the resemblance between Daniel and I was uncanny. It was like looking at me but seeing a guy version. As for Kristina, she looked exactly like my sister, Erin. I could see some subtle resemblances between me and her, but nothing like with Daniel. This thrilled my sister to death because growing up she never really looked like me or my brother. In fact, she looks nothing like my step-fathers son. She was tall and had dark curly hair. He was tall with blond hair. Me, I was short with lighter hair than my sister and it couldn't take a curl if you forced it.

We spent the rest of the day getting to know our siblings and explaining to them that we had no control over not seeing them over all the years that I had passed. They also informed us that they knew of us their whole lives and that our biological father also spoke of us in conversation. We finished the day off with a nice dinner together and then headed back home. From that day, my sister kept in constant with Daniel and Kristina, but I felt guilty and knew it hurt my step-father's feelings so I cut off all contact.

So several years passed and my sister continued to have contact with the twins. She would occasionally fill me in on the happenings in their lives, but I often acted disinterested just to maintain peace at home. Then in 2010, my sister finally decided she wanted more than a relationship with the twins. Therefore, she decided to contact our biological father, George. This completely pissed my parents off and my step-father saw it as a complete act of disrespect. Now, they both hold a grudge against my sister and basically will have nothing to do with her. At first, I was angry with her as well because all of what I had been told about him over the years. However, I too became curious and finally wanted both sides of the story. I knew though that as long as my parents were living with me (yes, I owned the house) that making a step toward reconciliation would be out of the question.

Once my parents and I grew apart and all that drama began, I knew I needed to leave. By that time I was dating Pezmaster and we had complete intentions on moving in together. So for months I looked for a place in the county in which Pezmaster lived. As you all know up until now we were over an hour away from each other. Then came the day that my step-father threatened to kill me, I was left with Pezmaster never to return.

So now it is present day. Now that I am out of my parents control, I decided it was time for me to contact George. I was scared to death and hesitate, but knew it had to be done. I needed answers and closure to the situation. My parents and the rest of my adopted family pretty much already hated me, so what harm could this do. I knew it wouldn't make my life any easier, but it would make me feel at little bit more at ease.

With the support of Pezmaster, I wrote my biological father an email several weeks ago. He replied and was very excited that I finally decided to talk to him. Since the email we have spoken several times over the phone and this weekend Pezmaster is taking me to meet not only George, but my biological grandfather, an uncle, and see the twins again, who are amazingly 18 now. I am scared to death and excited at the same time. During our conversations I have gotten a lot of my questions answers and sadly, most of what my mother told me was lies. I do not find this surprising coming from my mother because now that I am an adult, I know how she really is and why things happened the way they did.

Until our phone conversation, I could not remember what my father sounded like. The only way I know what he looks like is one picture I have that was taken on Christmas when I was six. So I have no idea what the man looks like now. Thanks to Facebook, he has been able to see pictures of me so he has an idea of what is going to be walking through his door on Saturday.

I am scared, yet anxious for Saturday to come. I hope it all turns out well. I will be sure to keep all of you updated on the reunion and how it turns out. I also get to see my brother Roberts little girl, Lacy this weekend. I was very close to Lacy before I left and I have only seen her twice in six months. I miss her more than anything and can not wait to spend some time with her. She is the same age as Pezmaster's little boy Brandon. She hasn't been told I am coming in for a visit yet, but I am sure she will be thrilled. Each time I have visited she cried when I left. She doesn't understand why I did leave and being almost four it is hard to explain to her that her grandparents are drug addicts and threatened to kill Aunt Jen Jen. Hopefully, one day she will know the truth.

Before I end this extremely long blog, for which I apologize, I want to share with you a picture of me of what I looked like the last day my dad George saw me in person. Surprisingly, I look almost identical to Lacy.