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It's fucking cold!! Colder than a witch titty, as my friend Jeff used to say. I'm not sure if he ever touched a witch titty, but that would explain the wart on his finger.

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I was so good at navigating the old site.. on this one I just keep finding naked pictures of me! Oh.. I'm in my "special folder" again. Oops!

1

I don't rake until the last leaf falls. This will be approximately in March as that ONE leaf always hangs on until Spring. Sorry, neighbors.

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I said Candy Corn. Didn't I? Shit. I really wanted candy corn. I'll watch this anyway.

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If twerking was really on your mind, you would get a concussion.

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What the fuck happened around here? I just peed in the sink and washed my hands in the toilet. And WHERE is the bidet?

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And, living in redneckland, I can now expect to hear fireworks every night until August.
apokalypse:
It could be worse...? You could be hearing "Ka-loo-koo-koo" or screaming or the Song That Never Ends (don't make me wrote the lyrics) until August.,,
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I find myself watching Rachael Ray at the moment.. and questioning my masculinity.
arroia:
As long as you punch the wall every five minutes, you're good. wink
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Did Tonto ever JUMP ON IT JUMP ON IT?? Why wasn't this ever answered?