"in the sunrise of a year..."
>Subject: Re: ache
>Date: Sat, 10 Apr 2004 02:14:09 -0500
>
>____:
> i just listeneed to lance talk about infidelity. how everyone does
>it...
>
>i could not,would not,nor would i ever want you to be with anyone else. i
>would never want to see you with another woman or man. i could never accept
>that.
>
>i only want you. i want the rest of my life with one woman-goddamn what the
>world allows. i would never share you with anyone. i could never be
>satisfied with anyone other than you.
>
> if you think you would ever want to be with anyone else:male or
>female,tell
>me now. i could never live with that. i can live with the truth;if thats
>how
>you feel. but please tell me now...
>
>i wait for you,long for you.i live for the dream of becoming your
>husband,supporting you and loving you for the rest of my(and your) life.
>nothing can compare to you. i ache for you and you alone. i do not
>subscribe
>to 'everyone does it' or 'its how men "are"', i want you and you alone. i
>will give you all that you need. i will satisfy you,hope,like no one ever
>could. i will come home to you . i will hold you in my heart when we are
>apart...
>
>my friends are fools. they could never be so lucky as i am with you. they
>do
>not know the happiness only you bring to my life. you make me feel like i
>can conquer the world. you are the world to me. you are everything. you are
>beauty,intelligence,hope,caring,and most importantly,love. i want you to
>hear my voice say it for the first time. i want you to know i could never
>be
>satisfied with anyone else. i ache for you now. i want you. i need you.
>indeed,you are the very air to me;i cannot breathe without you.
>
>____,tell me now. tell me there is a doubt. tell me you want to be with
>another woman,another man. tell me so i can hold you for what you have
>given
>me so far. dont break my heart. i dont want to hear that,but i must if
>thats
>the truth.
>
>i want to make you happy. i will make you the happiest woman in the world.
>i
>will live to make you happy-your smile is the perfect drug. i need
>you,____;need you to breathe. you must understand what you do to me,for me.
>alocohol,bright lights, and loose women are nothing compared to your face.
>the cheap things that make 'the world go round' mean nothing to me. two
>things were on my mind tonight: buying my buddy jordan drinks, and you.
>
>i cant tell you how bad i wanted to come home to your arms. i never want to
>hurt you,____, but i never want to make the mistake of not telling you how
>i
>feel. i want to come home to you. i want to kiss your face. i want to hold
>your precious body close to me,feeling you breathe. i want you next to me
>at
>night. i want to wake up to your sleepy smile.
>
>this ache for you is a tangible thing. my bed is so big and empty without
>you. the sound of windows starting up is the only solace i have
>anymore,promising the chance of a few words and images of you. i languish
>through the day without you.
>
>be my girl,____:mine and mine alone. i will keep you happy. i will always
>be
>satisfied.
>
>i ache for you now. i miss you more than words. i wait for you...
John,
My beautiful precious man, I've read your email so many times. Each time
feeling every word. Up until you entered my life, I could count on one hand
the number of times I felt something that was written to me or for me. With
you, it happens all the time. They aren't just words. They are an extension
of you. And as I sit here, longing to feel your touch and your voice against
my skin, your words caress me and I feel you.
Your feelings don't surprise me or scare me. You have shown me, many times,
what your words have finally reveled. My only wish is that my life was in a
different place. But I can't change where I am I can only change where I am
going.
I will never make you promises I cannot keep. That is why I have such a hard
time pressing enter at times. So much I long to say to you. But I want to
say it when I am in a better place. One thing I will promise you, that I can
promise you, and that is, when the time comes that I can commit myself to
you and your love and your life, it will be only you. I dream of the life
you describe to me. To give myself completely, knowing I have you
completely. No mistrust, no questions, no infidelity. Yes John, that is what
I long for. A complete life with one man. One man that is everything to me
and I am everything to him. I don't want to live my life searching. I want
to find completeness. I want home.
The moment I see your face in front of me, reach out and touch you for the
first time, I know I will see my future, clearly, unobstructed. I long for
that clarity. I need that clarity. But I want you to realize something. In
the situation that I am in, I am not making a choice. I will not ever choose
between you and my current life...
You have touched my life in a profound and amazing way. So unexpected and
overwhelming. If you are all you say you are and if you meant everything in
that email then you are larger than life. You are what I have been searching
for. You are what has always been missing in my life, in my heart, in my
soul.
One day I will say more. One day I will be free to express to you all that
is inside me, all that I long for you to hear and feel from my lips. One
day, my arms will be what you come home to.
____
"...the dream will be over"
>Subject: Re: ache
>Date: Sat, 10 Apr 2004 02:14:09 -0500
>
>____:
> i just listeneed to lance talk about infidelity. how everyone does
>it...
>
>i could not,would not,nor would i ever want you to be with anyone else. i
>would never want to see you with another woman or man. i could never accept
>that.
>
>i only want you. i want the rest of my life with one woman-goddamn what the
>world allows. i would never share you with anyone. i could never be
>satisfied with anyone other than you.
>
> if you think you would ever want to be with anyone else:male or
>female,tell
>me now. i could never live with that. i can live with the truth;if thats
>how
>you feel. but please tell me now...
>
>i wait for you,long for you.i live for the dream of becoming your
>husband,supporting you and loving you for the rest of my(and your) life.
>nothing can compare to you. i ache for you and you alone. i do not
>subscribe
>to 'everyone does it' or 'its how men "are"', i want you and you alone. i
>will give you all that you need. i will satisfy you,hope,like no one ever
>could. i will come home to you . i will hold you in my heart when we are
>apart...
>
>my friends are fools. they could never be so lucky as i am with you. they
>do
>not know the happiness only you bring to my life. you make me feel like i
>can conquer the world. you are the world to me. you are everything. you are
>beauty,intelligence,hope,caring,and most importantly,love. i want you to
>hear my voice say it for the first time. i want you to know i could never
>be
>satisfied with anyone else. i ache for you now. i want you. i need you.
>indeed,you are the very air to me;i cannot breathe without you.
>
>____,tell me now. tell me there is a doubt. tell me you want to be with
>another woman,another man. tell me so i can hold you for what you have
>given
>me so far. dont break my heart. i dont want to hear that,but i must if
>thats
>the truth.
>
>i want to make you happy. i will make you the happiest woman in the world.
>i
>will live to make you happy-your smile is the perfect drug. i need
>you,____;need you to breathe. you must understand what you do to me,for me.
>alocohol,bright lights, and loose women are nothing compared to your face.
>the cheap things that make 'the world go round' mean nothing to me. two
>things were on my mind tonight: buying my buddy jordan drinks, and you.
>
>i cant tell you how bad i wanted to come home to your arms. i never want to
>hurt you,____, but i never want to make the mistake of not telling you how
>i
>feel. i want to come home to you. i want to kiss your face. i want to hold
>your precious body close to me,feeling you breathe. i want you next to me
>at
>night. i want to wake up to your sleepy smile.
>
>this ache for you is a tangible thing. my bed is so big and empty without
>you. the sound of windows starting up is the only solace i have
>anymore,promising the chance of a few words and images of you. i languish
>through the day without you.
>
>be my girl,____:mine and mine alone. i will keep you happy. i will always
>be
>satisfied.
>
>i ache for you now. i miss you more than words. i wait for you...
John,
My beautiful precious man, I've read your email so many times. Each time
feeling every word. Up until you entered my life, I could count on one hand
the number of times I felt something that was written to me or for me. With
you, it happens all the time. They aren't just words. They are an extension
of you. And as I sit here, longing to feel your touch and your voice against
my skin, your words caress me and I feel you.
Your feelings don't surprise me or scare me. You have shown me, many times,
what your words have finally reveled. My only wish is that my life was in a
different place. But I can't change where I am I can only change where I am
going.
I will never make you promises I cannot keep. That is why I have such a hard
time pressing enter at times. So much I long to say to you. But I want to
say it when I am in a better place. One thing I will promise you, that I can
promise you, and that is, when the time comes that I can commit myself to
you and your love and your life, it will be only you. I dream of the life
you describe to me. To give myself completely, knowing I have you
completely. No mistrust, no questions, no infidelity. Yes John, that is what
I long for. A complete life with one man. One man that is everything to me
and I am everything to him. I don't want to live my life searching. I want
to find completeness. I want home.
The moment I see your face in front of me, reach out and touch you for the
first time, I know I will see my future, clearly, unobstructed. I long for
that clarity. I need that clarity. But I want you to realize something. In
the situation that I am in, I am not making a choice. I will not ever choose
between you and my current life...
You have touched my life in a profound and amazing way. So unexpected and
overwhelming. If you are all you say you are and if you meant everything in
that email then you are larger than life. You are what I have been searching
for. You are what has always been missing in my life, in my heart, in my
soul.
One day I will say more. One day I will be free to express to you all that
is inside me, all that I long for you to hear and feel from my lips. One
day, my arms will be what you come home to.
____
"...the dream will be over"