The never-ending cycles to everything drive me insane. There just isn't anything true about life except for change. Friends come and go, happiness swoops in and quickly departs, everything rythmic and predictable like the opening and closing of a flower, yet somehow it still manage to knock you off your feet sometimes.
I had a good day. I ended up spending most of it reading at the bookstore. I feel like I read 7 books today but the truth is I just skimmed out all the good shit. I still don't feel refreshed, in fact perhaps even more empty than I felt yesterday or the day before. A little bit detached from everything I guess, in a way that feels comfortable. If you don't get too close it can't hurt too bad - a sentiment that I thought I had purposefully shaken off a while ago but maybe it serves it's purpose sometimes.
I suppose apathy is ok for now.
I had a good day. I ended up spending most of it reading at the bookstore. I feel like I read 7 books today but the truth is I just skimmed out all the good shit. I still don't feel refreshed, in fact perhaps even more empty than I felt yesterday or the day before. A little bit detached from everything I guess, in a way that feels comfortable. If you don't get too close it can't hurt too bad - a sentiment that I thought I had purposefully shaken off a while ago but maybe it serves it's purpose sometimes.
I suppose apathy is ok for now.
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To be honest, i've come to think that that the feeling that I think is Happiness, might just be the moments in-between me worrying about my future, and wondering what I need to do to feel good about myself. I think what my true moments of happiness are when I am filled with joy about the moment i'm living, rather than the moment I'm waiting for.
It's kinda fun, don't you think?