erin

Maybe a lab mouse? Sometimes I feel like someone is watching the events of my life unfold and recording everything on crisp white graph paper as I make insignificant decisions that affect my entire life. Like this morning, as I opened my eyes and decided to shut them again for another hour. There's someone out there that can see what I should be choosing to do in every decision I make. Someone knows what I'm doing wrong. Someone is waiting to see if the proper succession of applied punishment and reward is going to make an impression on me, and what sort of effect it will have. If I'm an intelligent creature, I will choose the reward. If not, the reward will escape me every time, but because I haven't set my eyes on it, I'm not going to know the difference anyway.

I'm also kind of feeling like a frog. In a pot of water, slowly getting more and more uncomfortable, and too dumb to notice the gradual change.

Ugh!