The might of the spork!
Hello again True believers! I come to you once again with tales from the road and the travails of the Mighty Kartoffel. Now while at many times I have given you glimpses into the secret culinary labs of the Kartoffel Compound, this time is not one of those privileged glimpses. This time I am here to wax poetic about the amazing all purpose tool I had need of. Many have mocked my nigh obsessive tendency to prepare for almost any situation (13 in 1 gadget pen anyone?). But thanks to this useful trait of mine, my dinner has been spared. I was once again roaming the lands of the Bay, and searching for a meal to appease my mighty appetite. I was searching far and wide, in the plans to have an easy portable Chinese meal prepared by a legion of slave panda chefs. And while my trusted guide usually leads me well, this time was off and nearly led me into the den of a group of Panda Slavers instead! After fighting these terrible panda slavers and escaping I once again set out to find a meal worthy of my great appetite and medium budget. I was beginning to feel the rumblings of hunger and almost was going to break down and raid the castle of the king of burgers. But before I surrendered to my hunger I ran across a strange factory that was spitting out cheesecake in various shapes and forms. I decided that this was a fine meal to assuage my incredible hunger. I walked up to the crowded lines and let them know whose presence they were in, at which point I got to promptly wait in line. After informing them of what would be needed to appease me (and after they told me a harem of green dancing women serving me low carb delicacies was unavailable, I then proceeded to order a deluxe burger and low carb cheese cake slice. After a brief wait where their team of trained cheeseling chefs whipped up my repast I was once again on the road to my lodgings for the evening. Once I arrived and they took all my baggage and myself to my room on a golden divan, I sat down and prepared to dine. But then to my dismay I discovered that they had included no fine plastic dining tools!! AAAHHH NOO!! My dismay was loud and powerful (sorry for any who thought an earthquake was happening, but I take my meals seriously). Then I remembered many ages ago I had a special dining tool forged for me from the deepest dwarven forges. This amazing tool is none other than the amazing all purpose Spork! And strangely enough dwarves forge this titanium tool of tastiness for sale through a place called Thinkgeek. (I think they struck a deal with the dwarven laborers' union or something.) Well anyway once this tool had arrived I had secreted it into a secret compartment in one of my incredible backpacks of mass quantity storage. As we come back to the current evening, I was looking longingly at my food through it's plastic housing units and trying to decide how best to approach and consume this meal when I remembered my dwarven forged tool. So with a cry of glee I went deep into the 42nd basement of the backpack and dug it out from it's hidey hole. Then spent the next hour going up stairs to get back out of the backpack (next time I buy the model with an elevator). I am now happily dining on my meal thanks to the utility of the spork and my far sightedness (in a good way, not a needs glasses way). And now I give unto to you the words. Sporks are good, go get some yourselves and keep em around when you need them. Farewell true believers I go on to dine further. Excelsior!
The Mighty Kartoffel.
Hello again True believers! I come to you once again with tales from the road and the travails of the Mighty Kartoffel. Now while at many times I have given you glimpses into the secret culinary labs of the Kartoffel Compound, this time is not one of those privileged glimpses. This time I am here to wax poetic about the amazing all purpose tool I had need of. Many have mocked my nigh obsessive tendency to prepare for almost any situation (13 in 1 gadget pen anyone?). But thanks to this useful trait of mine, my dinner has been spared. I was once again roaming the lands of the Bay, and searching for a meal to appease my mighty appetite. I was searching far and wide, in the plans to have an easy portable Chinese meal prepared by a legion of slave panda chefs. And while my trusted guide usually leads me well, this time was off and nearly led me into the den of a group of Panda Slavers instead! After fighting these terrible panda slavers and escaping I once again set out to find a meal worthy of my great appetite and medium budget. I was beginning to feel the rumblings of hunger and almost was going to break down and raid the castle of the king of burgers. But before I surrendered to my hunger I ran across a strange factory that was spitting out cheesecake in various shapes and forms. I decided that this was a fine meal to assuage my incredible hunger. I walked up to the crowded lines and let them know whose presence they were in, at which point I got to promptly wait in line. After informing them of what would be needed to appease me (and after they told me a harem of green dancing women serving me low carb delicacies was unavailable, I then proceeded to order a deluxe burger and low carb cheese cake slice. After a brief wait where their team of trained cheeseling chefs whipped up my repast I was once again on the road to my lodgings for the evening. Once I arrived and they took all my baggage and myself to my room on a golden divan, I sat down and prepared to dine. But then to my dismay I discovered that they had included no fine plastic dining tools!! AAAHHH NOO!! My dismay was loud and powerful (sorry for any who thought an earthquake was happening, but I take my meals seriously). Then I remembered many ages ago I had a special dining tool forged for me from the deepest dwarven forges. This amazing tool is none other than the amazing all purpose Spork! And strangely enough dwarves forge this titanium tool of tastiness for sale through a place called Thinkgeek. (I think they struck a deal with the dwarven laborers' union or something.) Well anyway once this tool had arrived I had secreted it into a secret compartment in one of my incredible backpacks of mass quantity storage. As we come back to the current evening, I was looking longingly at my food through it's plastic housing units and trying to decide how best to approach and consume this meal when I remembered my dwarven forged tool. So with a cry of glee I went deep into the 42nd basement of the backpack and dug it out from it's hidey hole. Then spent the next hour going up stairs to get back out of the backpack (next time I buy the model with an elevator). I am now happily dining on my meal thanks to the utility of the spork and my far sightedness (in a good way, not a needs glasses way). And now I give unto to you the words. Sporks are good, go get some yourselves and keep em around when you need them. Farewell true believers I go on to dine further. Excelsior!
The Mighty Kartoffel.