ericdravyn

Henry says:

"My feelings for you shame me into silence. The truth of this and your name will never be revealed. It is you who has made me realize the failure of my life. The thought of you fills me with longing and at the same time, a burning humiliation that produces scar tissue and dead brain cells. Your existence mocks me and I am unable to confront this. You have no idea of any of this. None of this is your fault. It is completely with me. It is you who makes me see what I really am. I am weak and out of touch with myself."

Man, do I have days like that. (This person does not know who she is... maybe she does, but I don't think so...)

Currently I am doing okay, but still feel pressured (from within, I know) to do so many things I don't have the time or energy to do...

Every day I am confronted with conflicts that have come about as a result of my own poor choices or from my giving the wrong person the benefit of the doubt... yet again.

I am strong enough to see my way through these things, but they are frustrating and make me feel weak and stupid after the fact.

Wrong choices and decisions made for all the right reasons... the noble (?) lone ranger... taking care of business for everyone but himself.

For the last week or so I have been making better choices, difficult choices and am back on a better path... have to move (again) to be in a better place. Have to stay focused. Have to buy a new car (!).

We're getting there.

Took this weekend off to go to Boston and hang out and get away from the drama...

Monday starts the process again...

Feeling better already...