this week has felt really long.
on monday, my very responsible coworker kate did not show up for work. no one could get her on the phone. being ms. panicky jump to conclusions girl, i say that if kate didn't show up or call, she must be dead.
she is. she killed herself sunday night.
everything feels really weird at work now. kate was the person who helped me adjust to new york the most, she'd only moved here around 6 months ago herself. she'd always talk me down when our manager was being lackadaisical about policy and procedure and my ex-retail manager brain would get all spazzy. she was the most together person in the whole store. she'd been picked to work a big makeup show in the next few weeks. she mailed her fucking taxes last week. i'm having a really hard time with this.
i took her palette out of her brushbelt yesterday and put it in mine. every time i did a makeup today i thought of what kate would say or do. i miss her.