Right!!! So here it is......... Need to rant!!!
So much stuff going on at the moment which would have warranted some small well placed posts in a few groups........ thought I'd stick it in here.
I have a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, and just remembered today that I had applied to join that group a few years ago and never heard back.
I have started to get into some groups and have some friends on here (Thanks you guys!).
This is not a rant about having no friends, it is just the general situation that my Life is out of control and I have been handling it up to this point by either putting up with shit or by dealing with the stuff that other people want or that people convince me that I want!!!
There are good things in my life, unfortunately, most of the good things highlight the bad stuff and make it worse, some of the good things I cannot have without the really bad stuff and some of the good things don't work with the other good parts of my Life!
I had sex with my wife for the first time in a while, and it was good! Well......... it was good sex!!!
I don't want good sex, not just good sex..... I would rather actually have any form of fullfilling relationship!!
I need emotional contact and intamacy!
Been trying to arrange mediation between me n the wife for a while - hovering between couples counselling and relationship mediation, now looking more into legal mediation and Divorce/family law.
I am only here for my kids, I have thought for a long time that whatever the situation between me and their Mum, it is best for me to be here.
But I always considered that if I thought it was starting to affect the children badly I would not hesitate to leave.
I think it has reached that point!
My wife has always threatened that if we split she would get the kids and take them back 'home' (France).
With my history or what is perceived by people she has lied to - it is probably the case that she is right.
I've just come out of 18 months of full time therapy and am now able to contact some of the wonderful people that I met there. No-one wants to know me though! People that I considered friends and got close to, who promised they stay in touch, have not! People whose worst fears were that they would be forgotten, have forgotten me!
On top of all of this, there is ONE THING. The BEST thing, but also the WORST thing in my Life, my Whole Life!!!
I am in LOVE!!!
- gotta stop there for a bit.... soz
So much stuff going on at the moment which would have warranted some small well placed posts in a few groups........ thought I'd stick it in here.
I have a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, and just remembered today that I had applied to join that group a few years ago and never heard back.
I have started to get into some groups and have some friends on here (Thanks you guys!).
This is not a rant about having no friends, it is just the general situation that my Life is out of control and I have been handling it up to this point by either putting up with shit or by dealing with the stuff that other people want or that people convince me that I want!!!
There are good things in my life, unfortunately, most of the good things highlight the bad stuff and make it worse, some of the good things I cannot have without the really bad stuff and some of the good things don't work with the other good parts of my Life!
I had sex with my wife for the first time in a while, and it was good! Well......... it was good sex!!!
I don't want good sex, not just good sex..... I would rather actually have any form of fullfilling relationship!!
I need emotional contact and intamacy!
Been trying to arrange mediation between me n the wife for a while - hovering between couples counselling and relationship mediation, now looking more into legal mediation and Divorce/family law.
I am only here for my kids, I have thought for a long time that whatever the situation between me and their Mum, it is best for me to be here.
But I always considered that if I thought it was starting to affect the children badly I would not hesitate to leave.
I think it has reached that point!
My wife has always threatened that if we split she would get the kids and take them back 'home' (France).
With my history or what is perceived by people she has lied to - it is probably the case that she is right.
I've just come out of 18 months of full time therapy and am now able to contact some of the wonderful people that I met there. No-one wants to know me though! People that I considered friends and got close to, who promised they stay in touch, have not! People whose worst fears were that they would be forgotten, have forgotten me!
On top of all of this, there is ONE THING. The BEST thing, but also the WORST thing in my Life, my Whole Life!!!
I am in LOVE!!!
- gotta stop there for a bit.... soz
Just a tough spot to be in.
People by nature are very selfish. Even those that are more giving often do it for reasons that they alone know. I find so many people lament how no one is really there for them we they need them or don't make any effort to keep in touch but when asked if they themselves make the same efforts towards others the response is usually no.
I think apathy is the biggest killer of all relationships.
Speaking of making friends on here, you ever going to write back to me?