ever just want someone to read your journal just so someone wil know whats inside your head or what you really think about? what your fanticies are? i want mine to come true.... i want someone to know what i want and want to give it to me, i want to be sweapt away up in to the clouds i feel like all i have is myself as my own best friend im all on my own............. i feel like im running out of time.... i want more i want it to hit me like a pile of bricks i want so many people! i want to be a rock star, i want someone so sexy i want them all the time and couldnt even picture myself with someone else why can i picture myself with other people? that shoudlnt be, i should be happy but im not.... y? why can i find happiness with someone that treats me good? mabey b/c its not enough? will anyone be enough? will i die alone? unhappy? unloved?loney little old lady? 
Anyway, I can dig what you're talking about...Im pretty much feeling the same way. And so do alot of other people on the site, from the various posts I've seen on SG. From your posts/writings you have a hell of a lot to offer ANYONE with half a brain. So, dont give in to mediocrity, and dont give up on the struggle. Things will turn around for you with some time and patience.
Keep your head up!