Sunday Nov 21, 2004

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Well, I guess one could call today a good day, if that one were someone who was already committed to being alone in life. Just a disclaimer: I am very drunk right now and will probably be the same for about 48 hours(ish). Yesterday I had a problem the likes of which I thought I would never have. I had feelings for two girls who had feelings for me. Now how does one make a choice such as that?So I asked the Universe for clarity and I thought the answer was pretty obvious. One of the girls I had feelings for decided (unintelligibly if you ask me) to get back with her husband who is abusive as all hell. So I figured that I would accept the other girls feelings and be her boyfriend (see last post). Well, when I called her to see how things were, she uninvited me to her daughters birthday party and told me that she didn't feel she was ready for a relationship seeing as how she broke up with the father of her baby (who is also a good friend of mine) about nine months ago. I naturally, being the caring guy I am, told her that it was okay if she did not feel ready for a relationship, and that I would be more than willing to work on out friendship. Naturally, I was being nice and was actually really hurt by her decision. What can one do in this situation? Personally, I have decided that I will throw myself into my work and just work until these feelings have passed. However, I know that these feelings of rejection will not pass and that I will be depressed whenever I am not working. What can I do? Therefore I throw myself at the mercy of people who I have never met and may have insight on this situation. Please respond and comment. I am so confused right now and I do not know what to think. I would greatly appreciate your feedback, as long as it is honest, no matter how brutal it may seem. Thank you in advance. Until next time...
elektra_descends:
Hello! I agree with you in offering friendship to these lasses. That is alwasy the best thing if that is truly your intention.
I will offer you some advice.
Fall-back and re-group. Do not throw yourself into anything such as work. Throw yourself into what makes YOU happy.
Star watch, cloud watch, mountain climb, hike, inflict pain on someone, vice versa, or whatever floats your boat.
The fact that one of the women is married... Not a good thing. Whatever the circumstances!
A women who keeps changing her mind. Not a good sign.
I wish you luck my friend. I hope some of this helps you in your journey.
ivarr:
Hey Enigma. Been a while since I've talked to you. I appreciate the way you seem to gourge yourself on life. I don't see you ever being down for long. All things go in cycles and this delima you're having is another. I do encourage you to concentrate on work. Work always brings satisfaction when your done. It helps things disappear like alchohol can't. Soon all these things will slip into time and be nothing more than a memory. Any pain you feel will become numb. I don't like getting too sentimental. So rock on and stay living strong.

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