The catch 22 of my existence is that as many seem to agree, i have a variety of gifts and abilities with seemingly great potential. However, due to my problems, namely my long undiagnosed untreated ADD and its related complications. I have not been able to manifest my potential. I have largely spent my life with the perspective that i shouldn't need or request help as someone with my potential shouldn't need any help. That philosophy has received continuous support between my personal practical experience with others and through my experience of the reaction of others and the empty meaningless rhetoric they usually have plied me with as if they were given the same book of official distant placations. Once i had finally stopped and sort of accepted the routine cultural rhetoric and the facts of actual reality in regard to the fact that i need real practical aid to achieve anything to which i may be capable of. I found that i could not possibly depend upon anyone or trust anyone fulfill any genuine need of mine in order to achieve anything. The only way i can get what i need is to hire people who would be motivated and focused upon achieving whatever tasks i needed them to because they would be specifically employed and compensated for that purpose. If i could achieve anything on my own then I would simultaneously be able to afford such agents of my potential and not need them as they'd be redundant. So I am left in a situation where I have no win. If i want agents to execute the practical actions that i need i must hire them. If i could achieve anything that i need the agents to help me to achieve then I would have the resources to hire them as well as negate their necessity. I appreciate affection and well meaning aspirations. But those rarely if ever become practical manifestation. What I need is a team of motivated practical actors. I have no use for words and good intentions. It's like christmas cards. They look charming on display and are full of well wishes but they just don't do anything. If someone wants to help,join the team etc. That's great, jump in, get your hands dirty, take a task off the list and take care of business. If not, thanks for the sentiments, hugs, go sit over there and i'll come get you when the work is done.
