Sunday Apr 27, 2008

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I'm really focused on my career and all that right now, and I'm making great progress towards these things. But. It's so hard waking up everyday feeling like something is missing. And though I know I didn't do anything wrong and I was the one who was wronged, I still can't help but question everything I did and doubt myself. Like had I done more, things would have worked out better. I really feel that I've lost the love of my life and I will always be waiting for her and any other woman from here on will be compared to her incessantly. It's kinda shitty. And I don't really care for it.
jaded_dreams:
frown
It will get better.
I have decided that love is a load of bullshit because it just makes you hurt.


And I may or may not email him. But no matter what, I doubt I'm going to use the word "love" when I tell him how I feel. Even if that's how I may feel. I think if I have to lay myself out there that much and get shot down it will ruin me forever. If this alreaydy hasn't ruined me forever. We're getting lunch tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. I told him I don't think we should "get together" in our usual sense anymore. If he asks why, I'll tell him everything. If not, I'll play it by ear as to when and how I tell him.

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