endlessly

The past two days in a row I have woken up very early thinking about her. I keep thinking that somehow I know she's having sex and it's waking me up. It tears me up inside to think about it but I can't help it, she's the love of my life. I woke up and tried to watch something but everything reminds me of her. I heard a song from a band she used to really be into, and then some girl on TV made this cute face and held out her hand for her boyfriend, JUST LIKE she used to do for me. I'm so tired of dwelling and pining over my loss. I've tried to move on, I've commented on a bunch of groups in here trying to remind myself that there are other women out there and one of them may be able to make me as happy as she did, but it's a wash. She is the love of my life. I'm broken. I'm done.