Sunday Feb 20, 2005

0
So, the wake for my grandfather made me think about death and life and accomplishmets and friends, family and loves.

And I have none of those. I'm a black sheep on both sides of my family. My parents never married. Each side likes me but isn't too interested in me, if you know what I mean.

My friends are few and far. I feeel none of them know me deep down. That none of them understand me.

No loves mean no loves cuz I've kinda realize something is up with me that makes me unlovable. No one can commit to me and I ruin lives.


If you come any closer I will rip you to shreds.
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livingoutloud:
I'm going to have to second cklarock's post.

I seriously doubt your unloveable.
And even if you were, even if you were the life-ruining unloveable beast you fear you might be, that realization isn't a death scentance. You have the rest of your life to undo the shit of childhood definitions. You have the rest of your life to work on being something better.
Give yourself time, your gonna be fine. kiss
belllla:
I went through a long phase in my early twenties of feeling something very similar. I don't really have any words of wisdom or anything because for me it was just my bullshit walls and fear of letting someone in enough that they'd have the power to hurt me. I guess I was just lucky enough to develop friendships with people who were patient enough to stick around and force their way in.

I wish you the very very best, Smells. smile

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