endedben

You know that song "I Never Met A Girl Like You Before" by Edwin Collins? It makes me want to slither around like a snake on the dance floor, infecting everyone with my swaying hips and billowy hair.

So here's to another day of staying up completely too much. What's too much, you don't ask? Well, I'll tell you anyway, you rude bastard. It's 24 hours up, wide awake. And with a body like this, that takes talent. It takes more than most to run this locomotive.

Spekkin' of dancing, the Springsteen song ''Dancing In The Dark" makes me want to put my best stone washed jeans on, put a red hankerchief in my pocket and just twirl with my arms above my head? Does that make me, you know, awesome? Don't answer, I'm too busy dancing with a young Courtney Cox.

My mom is getting married to her new boyfriend, who is a nice guy. But it's her third marriage. I'm not accepting this dude as a third dad. I got two and it's a hassle. I can't refer to the other as ''dad'' in their presence. Then I'd see less money and gifts on my birthday. And Mamma needs a new pair of everything.


Buy me these shoes and I'll totally make out with you.