endedben

Interested in my own past history I've started thinking about what I was like as a kid. First things first, I wanted to kill myself beginning in the second grade. It's not quite the same thing as being suicidal, I suppose, because I had very little to no compulsion to do myself in. I just wanted to be dead or die, but not in a peaceful in my sleep kind of way. No, in second grade I wanted the end result of a suicide but not have to take the path of a suicide. So I guess I've always wanted my cake and to eat it, too. Oh, gluttony!

Is 2nd grade a bit early to start that shit, or am I just ahead of my time?