emperorreagan

I have had a full time engineering job for approximately 3 weeks now.

I think about killing myself every day around 2 PM. If I went into the office and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life in this business, I would follow through. My work might contribute some small margin of value to society (infinitely more that had I taken one of the defense contractor jobs, though), but it is never going to be rewarding. It feels like a prison. By the time the work day is through, I probably end up spending 11 hours of my day devoted to work between traffic, being tied to the office for the unpaid lunch break, and getting ready in the mornings. If I sleep a typical 8 hours, that means there are 5 hours during the day that are actually mine to devote to things I actually care about.

It feels like prison. It is most definitely soul-less.

I've got a five year plan to pay off my student loans, buy a small farm in Wyoming, and teach high school chemistry or physics, though... I have to keep reminding myself of that so I don't kill myself some Tuesday at 2:15.