Waking up from this nightmare
how's your life? whats it like there?
is it all what you want it to be
does it hurt, when you think about me
and how broken my heart is..
Cant we at least talk? i guess not. that would be uh.. too mature? I dont know. Its hard living life pretending that you arent thinking about someone and how they are, when you really are. Its hard to pretend in the back of your mind that you probably shouldnt talk to them cause it hurts, when really it doesnt hurt, its just sad. No i dont want you back. No i wont care if you move/moved on. I just want to be your friend. Even though you say its impossible. Thats only cause the world makes it seem impossible. Maybe i dont want to be your friend? Maybe life is better with you gone, but i guess ill never know. Ive been living the past 9 months with you gone. So who is to tell? Ive been through alot since you've been gone. since we havent talked. Since you've ignored me. Im happy. I wake up with a smile on my face everyday. But i still would like to be able to call you and ask how your day was, whats new, how the weather is treating you. Or maybe i dont want to. Things just arent the same. I know you'll probably be thinking. "this girl wont leave me alone" but really. Im not doing anything directly towards you. this is freedom of speech. Shit, you'll probably not even read this. But its okay, i just feel like writing, and as long as i get all this out of me, ill feel better. Ive let go of my grudges towards everyone. Life is just too short. but i have a question. If i died tomorrow, would you come to my funeral? Honestly. and would you cry? I guess we'll have to find out further down the road. Im just sick of living so cramped up.. or like im stuck in a small space. I only live once, i COULD die tomorrow and to think of all the things i had yet to say to you, to say to everyone, the things i had yet to do, music i had yet to discover that would change my outlook on the day. Gone. death is kind of cool just because while your up in heaven you can look down and see who your real friends were. and who, you wish you never met. respect. Im normally not like this. i normally dont write stuff like this. But how can i resist. I dont do anything else with my days until i start working more. Until im not in my house anymore. until i feel some sort of self-worth. Am i pathetic? I think not. Im just human. I have feelings. I cry and i laugh just like everyone else in the world. So what im on medication, but i still like to believe its my own self that is helping, not the meds. Im just like you deep down inside. We figured that out a long time ago.
Well i just cant write anymore or else ill go on talking about stupid worthless shit hah that no one really cares about.
I mean, no one probably even cares about this. But do i care?
No.
You know what pisses me off? this.
SUPPOSE TO BE A STAR
LOOKS LIKE PATRICK FROM SPONGEBOB
but i love this one still.
how's your life? whats it like there?
is it all what you want it to be
does it hurt, when you think about me
and how broken my heart is..
Cant we at least talk? i guess not. that would be uh.. too mature? I dont know. Its hard living life pretending that you arent thinking about someone and how they are, when you really are. Its hard to pretend in the back of your mind that you probably shouldnt talk to them cause it hurts, when really it doesnt hurt, its just sad. No i dont want you back. No i wont care if you move/moved on. I just want to be your friend. Even though you say its impossible. Thats only cause the world makes it seem impossible. Maybe i dont want to be your friend? Maybe life is better with you gone, but i guess ill never know. Ive been living the past 9 months with you gone. So who is to tell? Ive been through alot since you've been gone. since we havent talked. Since you've ignored me. Im happy. I wake up with a smile on my face everyday. But i still would like to be able to call you and ask how your day was, whats new, how the weather is treating you. Or maybe i dont want to. Things just arent the same. I know you'll probably be thinking. "this girl wont leave me alone" but really. Im not doing anything directly towards you. this is freedom of speech. Shit, you'll probably not even read this. But its okay, i just feel like writing, and as long as i get all this out of me, ill feel better. Ive let go of my grudges towards everyone. Life is just too short. but i have a question. If i died tomorrow, would you come to my funeral? Honestly. and would you cry? I guess we'll have to find out further down the road. Im just sick of living so cramped up.. or like im stuck in a small space. I only live once, i COULD die tomorrow and to think of all the things i had yet to say to you, to say to everyone, the things i had yet to do, music i had yet to discover that would change my outlook on the day. Gone. death is kind of cool just because while your up in heaven you can look down and see who your real friends were. and who, you wish you never met. respect. Im normally not like this. i normally dont write stuff like this. But how can i resist. I dont do anything else with my days until i start working more. Until im not in my house anymore. until i feel some sort of self-worth. Am i pathetic? I think not. Im just human. I have feelings. I cry and i laugh just like everyone else in the world. So what im on medication, but i still like to believe its my own self that is helping, not the meds. Im just like you deep down inside. We figured that out a long time ago.
Well i just cant write anymore or else ill go on talking about stupid worthless shit hah that no one really cares about.
I mean, no one probably even cares about this. But do i care?
No.
You know what pisses me off? this.
SUPPOSE TO BE A STAR
LOOKS LIKE PATRICK FROM SPONGEBOB
but i love this one still.
imwhitetrashmatt:
my hat is better by far
adampatrick:
if i had a girl as beautiful as you i'd never let her go....i would always let her know how much i loved her and would do anything to make her happy.....but then again i cant find a girl like you 