emokid109

As it were, I'm pretty retarded. I know I'm in love with a girl, but i can't tell her, she is one of my best friends, and the more i think about it...the more i come to realize that it just isn't a good idea to tell her. and the more i try to not thing about the situation and her in general the more i do! It really sucks, and i KNOW i'm not the only person that has this problem. i'm just really bad at talking about shit like that. and i'm really bad at taking that first step, i'm to afraid to fall. I'm not as afraid of her saying no she doesn't want to be with me as i am of making things weird and awkward. I don't know it all seems so trivial when you think about how long life is, and how the 3 minutes to explain my feelings won't change fate (if such thing exists). I mean i believe that if we are suppose to be with someone we will end up with them in the long run, which is one reason why i don't push, but if i don't push i'll end up how i am now, alone.
Here are two of my fav. poems, mainly bc they sum up how i feel better then i can.


Alone By: Edgar Allen Poe.

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.


E.E. Cummings

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain