RIght now I feel completely weak in both body and mind. I've been off work ill for a week with a throat infection and suspected infected gallstones and I've never felt so fucking bored and stunted! I hate sitting or lying in front of the TV for hours on end yet this is all i've done... it's draining... it's horrible. I feel like I should be writing but this week i've not been able to even write one decent sentence, i know it's cos i'm ill but I'm pretty down on myself at the minute.
I'm in my new place now, it's ace... but I can't help but wonder if i've done the right thing. I could've spent my money on more traveling... but I didn't... why didn't I fuck off traveling, go out the Thailand to see Stevie or back to the states. I don;t know... But it's done now, i'm here in my own little place, with a good set up to write... when my head will let me... but it's lonely. All my friends are coupled up just about so it's hard for them to just come round for a coffee or something. This is why I REALLY miss Stevie, he'd just come round some evenings and I'd make us some food, we'd hug and watch TV. That was it, it was brill... but he loves Thailand, so i'm happy for him, I just miss my friend so much. I also don't seem to meet any new people anymore so it's highly unlikely that i'm gonna meet any potential boyfriends... this is getting me down too. I don't feel very good about myself so why should anyone else like me! All I'd like is someone to be genuinely interested in me and ask me out to dinner or to a movie or something... I just don't see that happening, like, ever!
Anyway, well that was depressing wasn't it! Sorry guys, here, this always cheers me up, hope it makes you smile too!...
I'm in my new place now, it's ace... but I can't help but wonder if i've done the right thing. I could've spent my money on more traveling... but I didn't... why didn't I fuck off traveling, go out the Thailand to see Stevie or back to the states. I don;t know... But it's done now, i'm here in my own little place, with a good set up to write... when my head will let me... but it's lonely. All my friends are coupled up just about so it's hard for them to just come round for a coffee or something. This is why I REALLY miss Stevie, he'd just come round some evenings and I'd make us some food, we'd hug and watch TV. That was it, it was brill... but he loves Thailand, so i'm happy for him, I just miss my friend so much. I also don't seem to meet any new people anymore so it's highly unlikely that i'm gonna meet any potential boyfriends... this is getting me down too. I don't feel very good about myself so why should anyone else like me! All I'd like is someone to be genuinely interested in me and ask me out to dinner or to a movie or something... I just don't see that happening, like, ever!
Anyway, well that was depressing wasn't it! Sorry guys, here, this always cheers me up, hope it makes you smile too!...
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I was thinking of doing the whole touristy thing, staying in Santa Monica, stalking the stars type thing! I'm also thinking luxury hotels rather than hostels but I dunno! Would our stuff be safe in the hostel while we're out and about all day? Yeah, I bet I sound like a naive twat but I really don't have a clue!!
Anyway, what's been going on with you lately lady? I haven't heard from you for a while - I know you've been out and about with the SGUK'ers so at least you've been having lots of fun
Sorry to hear you're all ill now though; just try and enjoy the rest while you can love. No doubt moving has been stressful as well as your friend moving away; all these things take their toll. Watch crap tv and eat nice things like cakes!!
The next time I'm up your way, I will pop round for food and tv with yer, keep you company for a bit
As for me, I feel EXACTLY the same as you only you have a good few years on me hon. But then I look around me and see plenty of gronks with doting partners and I think surely, there's gotta be someone out there somewhere for me!
I'm now thinking maybe it'll be in LA! I'll bag me a nice rich old fella with strong sperm and a dicky ticker, then all my dreams can finally come true!!
Get well soon chicken
xxxx