- When people say "What am I? made of money?" always reply with "I fucking wish, at least then I could get rid of you"
- When someone says "What do you think? money grows on trees?" reply with a punch in the face.
Fucking duh, money doesn't grow on trees but you choose to pay for these things, so fuck off... seriously. Have you ever heard of the word "No"?
- Just because I have a fast car doesn't mean I want to race your acura.. you aren't cool and I'm fucking tired
- Why do people always have to associate cum with food.. like milk or cream.. We are such a food driven nation, I swear!
- I found out today that Lebron purchased a.... and I'm not fucking kidding.... 75,000 dollar bottle of champagne... and while I am all for splurging when you have the money for it, if that right there isn't the biggest "fuck you" to our continuous financial down pour, I dont know what is.
Its not enough that he gets paid already millions to fucking play, then a couple more millions in endorsements...
already $3.30 dollars in gas is fucking me in the ass and this fucking asshole has the audacity to spend seventy five thousand dollars on a fucking couple ounces of alcohol...
well fuck you too Lebron...
- Miami is also so ass backwards, who the fuck has a parade on Monday?
- I hate when someone cancels plans last minute. Maybe this would be okay if they at least had a legit reason as to why they couldn't make it but they never manage to make up a good excuse.
Its always "oh I left the water running in my apartment" or "I'm having an abortion today"
- It is possible for someone to be so sexually frustrated that you turn into something else entirely, and that shit is crazy.
- People with overly sized logos are fucking retarded.
- I know this sounds a little weird coming from me because I'm a photographer but I am getting really tired of the sign thing.
- Sometimes you just need a break... sometimes, you just need 4-5 breaks... how ever many.. you need to recover.
- There will always be someone for everyone... that means abusers will eventually land someone that in some sick way, enjoys being hit...
- Never say "I love you" just for the sake of saying it...
- While we're at it, stop using the phrase so lightly.. It's not meant to conclude a phone conversation... It's a saying that's used to really emphasize your feelings for someone, not another meaning for "good bye"
- When I was a kid.. I told my friends that real love is being able to fart in front of each other...
- I've been spending an ungodly amount of time trying to figure out what I need to do to get where I need to be. It shows that trying does absolutely nothing. It's just like crying...
- Speaking about crying. Any one that says "crying gets you no where" is a fucking liar! Sure it doesn't physically do anything to you other than make you look ugly but you can't tell me if someone starts crying in front of you, you don't instantly feel sorry for them.
- You might think you're everything to everyone...
- I don't think people understand how important it is to JUST be yourself when you first start dating. No rolling out the red carpet. No magic tricks... just be you. Because the second you start to feel comfortable, the second someones going to be disappointed... And I've never heard someone say "Man, I'm so fucking glad about being disappointed" and if you have, there's a good chance they are crazy...
- This means if you typically aren't the type of person to spend every day with their girlfriend/boyfriend but in the begging for some dumb reason feel the need to now that you are attracted to someone, just don't do it. Chill the fuck out... go hang out with your hoe ass friends... Go.. play with your balls or what ever else it is that dudes do...
- No one, not even the strongest of us all, can afford to be weak at any point in life. The weak die off or are left to fend for themselves and lose a horrible battle. At least die a hero.
- You preserve life when you live for something else other than yourself.
- Is unrequited love really love?
- Believe in embracing the now, because at the end, it's all we've got.
- The Japanese chin can lick its own eyeballs.
- Also, have patience and forgiveness for the meaningless stupid shit that happens in your life. If you are the type of person that gets angry at dumb shit like people who don't put their turning signals on when they are supposed to, then go die in a cave. What are you? stuck on a porch somewhere? you 90 year old fuck! JESUS
- Feeling something with out knowing if its reciprocated is like knowing something is lurking in the dark and you are just waiting for it to pop out...
- If I died tomorrow I would've told everyone everything they needed to know. Can you say the same for yourself?
- Nobody ever fucking listens to this but, I'll never stop saying it.. facebook (or any public networking site) is not the place for you to air out your dirty laundry. It's not only NOT the place for it but it also makes you a lovely target for trolling and if you didn't already know you were going to get bullshit for being a moron I suggest you just get rid of your internet service...
- Why do people (especially total strangers) feel the need to openly justify an action that looks completely ridiculous or total bullshit. I don't care if you're a liar, I don't fucking know you or care to know you... so... just stop...
- Shit doesn't work out for you because you don't try hard enough... If you find yourself asking "why isn't this happening for me" chances are you are slacking off too much... so get back to work...
- My superhero power is to invisibly punch someone in the face that could very well be a few yards away... tell me that wouldn't come in handy, like every fucking day...
- Yo, can it be October already?
- I wish people stuck to their word. Its almost like the English language is a lie in itself. "Love" doesn't mean shit anymore and neither does marriage. When someone says "I will do this for you" they don't ever do it... it's just like if someone yells "SURPRISE" but there's no actual surprise.. they just like yelling the word surprise...
- Does it make me a narcissist if I am always asking myself "If I was giving myself advise, what would I say?"
- When I see myself getting in a fight, August burns red always plays in my head... more specifically this song:
- When a good song starts to play that you've never heard before is like a really awesome first kiss.
- Never... EVER have all 4 wisdom teeth pulled at once. You won't be able to fit dick in your mouth for what seems like an eternity.
- I think any good feeling is worth talking about. I mean like, if you like some thing.. you should say that you like it... and not be some stingy... non.... talker about the things you like.
- When getting to know someone, it is common courtesy to return a question after you have been asked one. Let me tell you how frustrating it is to be the only one pulling questions out of my ass.
- I think it's only fair for a company that asks for at least 2 weeks notice of leaving to also give a coworker a 2 week notice of termination.
- It's totally and completely rude to lay around at a gathering only texting other people on your phone. Just saying. When in the company of strangers or even friends, put the phone down.. jesus.
- It's not uncommon for someone to turn a story around to run in their favor. This means you can trust no one... except yourself.
- Maybe pot does wonders for aches and pains?
- Why does "Living social" always send me amazing deals when I'm poor as fuck. When I need a new mattress and have the money for it, living social is dicking around on their deals. But when I can't sleep and have a dollar left in my account, what do I find in my mail box? a queen memory foam mattress for 199.... Fuck you Living Social... fuck you.
- Sometimes when I am driving in my car a thought will cross my mind. That thought is "If I die right now my parents will know I was listening to "Genuine - pony" the moment I died...."
- Don't hold in farts... you'll explode.
I'm really sorry this is late and somewhat sort. My mouth has been killing me...
Going for a run.. because being fat sucks and I love food... also if you want to buy me something because I never ask for anything and you are just feeling generous, you can always find cool stuff here that I secretly wish for...
Amazon wish list!
also here are some shots from a shoot i did a while ago for my blog:
- When someone says "What do you think? money grows on trees?" reply with a punch in the face.
Fucking duh, money doesn't grow on trees but you choose to pay for these things, so fuck off... seriously. Have you ever heard of the word "No"?
- Just because I have a fast car doesn't mean I want to race your acura.. you aren't cool and I'm fucking tired
- Why do people always have to associate cum with food.. like milk or cream.. We are such a food driven nation, I swear!
- I found out today that Lebron purchased a.... and I'm not fucking kidding.... 75,000 dollar bottle of champagne... and while I am all for splurging when you have the money for it, if that right there isn't the biggest "fuck you" to our continuous financial down pour, I dont know what is.
Its not enough that he gets paid already millions to fucking play, then a couple more millions in endorsements...
already $3.30 dollars in gas is fucking me in the ass and this fucking asshole has the audacity to spend seventy five thousand dollars on a fucking couple ounces of alcohol...
well fuck you too Lebron...
- Miami is also so ass backwards, who the fuck has a parade on Monday?
- I hate when someone cancels plans last minute. Maybe this would be okay if they at least had a legit reason as to why they couldn't make it but they never manage to make up a good excuse.
Its always "oh I left the water running in my apartment" or "I'm having an abortion today"
- It is possible for someone to be so sexually frustrated that you turn into something else entirely, and that shit is crazy.
- People with overly sized logos are fucking retarded.
- I know this sounds a little weird coming from me because I'm a photographer but I am getting really tired of the sign thing.
- Sometimes you just need a break... sometimes, you just need 4-5 breaks... how ever many.. you need to recover.
- There will always be someone for everyone... that means abusers will eventually land someone that in some sick way, enjoys being hit...
- Never say "I love you" just for the sake of saying it...
- While we're at it, stop using the phrase so lightly.. It's not meant to conclude a phone conversation... It's a saying that's used to really emphasize your feelings for someone, not another meaning for "good bye"
- When I was a kid.. I told my friends that real love is being able to fart in front of each other...
- I've been spending an ungodly amount of time trying to figure out what I need to do to get where I need to be. It shows that trying does absolutely nothing. It's just like crying...
- Speaking about crying. Any one that says "crying gets you no where" is a fucking liar! Sure it doesn't physically do anything to you other than make you look ugly but you can't tell me if someone starts crying in front of you, you don't instantly feel sorry for them.
- You might think you're everything to everyone...
- I don't think people understand how important it is to JUST be yourself when you first start dating. No rolling out the red carpet. No magic tricks... just be you. Because the second you start to feel comfortable, the second someones going to be disappointed... And I've never heard someone say "Man, I'm so fucking glad about being disappointed" and if you have, there's a good chance they are crazy...
- This means if you typically aren't the type of person to spend every day with their girlfriend/boyfriend but in the begging for some dumb reason feel the need to now that you are attracted to someone, just don't do it. Chill the fuck out... go hang out with your hoe ass friends... Go.. play with your balls or what ever else it is that dudes do...
- No one, not even the strongest of us all, can afford to be weak at any point in life. The weak die off or are left to fend for themselves and lose a horrible battle. At least die a hero.
- You preserve life when you live for something else other than yourself.
- Is unrequited love really love?
- Believe in embracing the now, because at the end, it's all we've got.
- The Japanese chin can lick its own eyeballs.
- Also, have patience and forgiveness for the meaningless stupid shit that happens in your life. If you are the type of person that gets angry at dumb shit like people who don't put their turning signals on when they are supposed to, then go die in a cave. What are you? stuck on a porch somewhere? you 90 year old fuck! JESUS
- Feeling something with out knowing if its reciprocated is like knowing something is lurking in the dark and you are just waiting for it to pop out...
- If I died tomorrow I would've told everyone everything they needed to know. Can you say the same for yourself?
- Nobody ever fucking listens to this but, I'll never stop saying it.. facebook (or any public networking site) is not the place for you to air out your dirty laundry. It's not only NOT the place for it but it also makes you a lovely target for trolling and if you didn't already know you were going to get bullshit for being a moron I suggest you just get rid of your internet service...
- Why do people (especially total strangers) feel the need to openly justify an action that looks completely ridiculous or total bullshit. I don't care if you're a liar, I don't fucking know you or care to know you... so... just stop...
- Shit doesn't work out for you because you don't try hard enough... If you find yourself asking "why isn't this happening for me" chances are you are slacking off too much... so get back to work...
- My superhero power is to invisibly punch someone in the face that could very well be a few yards away... tell me that wouldn't come in handy, like every fucking day...
- Yo, can it be October already?
- I wish people stuck to their word. Its almost like the English language is a lie in itself. "Love" doesn't mean shit anymore and neither does marriage. When someone says "I will do this for you" they don't ever do it... it's just like if someone yells "SURPRISE" but there's no actual surprise.. they just like yelling the word surprise...
- Does it make me a narcissist if I am always asking myself "If I was giving myself advise, what would I say?"
- When I see myself getting in a fight, August burns red always plays in my head... more specifically this song:
- When a good song starts to play that you've never heard before is like a really awesome first kiss.
- Never... EVER have all 4 wisdom teeth pulled at once. You won't be able to fit dick in your mouth for what seems like an eternity.
- I think any good feeling is worth talking about. I mean like, if you like some thing.. you should say that you like it... and not be some stingy... non.... talker about the things you like.
- When getting to know someone, it is common courtesy to return a question after you have been asked one. Let me tell you how frustrating it is to be the only one pulling questions out of my ass.
- I think it's only fair for a company that asks for at least 2 weeks notice of leaving to also give a coworker a 2 week notice of termination.
- It's totally and completely rude to lay around at a gathering only texting other people on your phone. Just saying. When in the company of strangers or even friends, put the phone down.. jesus.
- It's not uncommon for someone to turn a story around to run in their favor. This means you can trust no one... except yourself.
- Maybe pot does wonders for aches and pains?
- Why does "Living social" always send me amazing deals when I'm poor as fuck. When I need a new mattress and have the money for it, living social is dicking around on their deals. But when I can't sleep and have a dollar left in my account, what do I find in my mail box? a queen memory foam mattress for 199.... Fuck you Living Social... fuck you.
- Sometimes when I am driving in my car a thought will cross my mind. That thought is "If I die right now my parents will know I was listening to "Genuine - pony" the moment I died...."
- Don't hold in farts... you'll explode.
I'm really sorry this is late and somewhat sort. My mouth has been killing me...
Going for a run.. because being fat sucks and I love food... also if you want to buy me something because I never ask for anything and you are just feeling generous, you can always find cool stuff here that I secretly wish for...
Amazon wish list!
also here are some shots from a shoot i did a while ago for my blog:
tactical:
you post insanely random blogs...very enjoyable 
cinners:
enjoyed this very much