going to go ahead and be honest, I TOTALLY FORGOT TODAY WAS MONDAY.
- I know your a fucking idiot, but could you just not be for one second?
- If you are in a parking lot, and there is clearly no more spaces available, you can't just make up your own rules about parking. If I am vertically parked, you can't park horizontally behind me and possibly think I can get out. First off, jackass, my car doesn't fly. It also isn't big enough to run your car over.
- Note to self: keep post-its and pens in your car to nicely leave people who poorly park little notes.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? God am I the only one that thinks this? Who the fuck publicly posts about there recent suicide attempt. WHO!? this guy.
- I can't expect much from this town anymore. Not when fat people wear cookie monster shirts, guys with poorly done tattoos think we automatically have something in common, and more then half the people that live here think smoking pot is not actually a drug.
- It's a nice day for a white wedding? NO IT AIN'T BITCH NOT WHEN YOU ARE 500 LBS! Your tits are about to pop out of that tube top dress, GTFO.
- A friend asked her boyfriend "what is wrong with you, what do you consider funny? are there any comedians you like??" his response was "family guy"
- Listen, the thread count does make a fucking difference. SO JUST FORK THE MONEY OUT TO BUY THEM. It will make your saggy ass bed a tiny bit more comfortable.
- It takes a real man to pick up explosive diarrhea from a 16 year old yorkie. Just sayin.
- Don't expect me to fucking contact you when you have canceled plans like a million times.
- Listen up children. TEXT MESSAGING IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF COMMUNICATION. You have a cell phone, use it for talking too.
- I don't know how much more clearer I could get then to tell you that our appointment is at 2pm. Do you need more clarification? Want me to over-night you a letter? fax? pigeon? I SAID 2PM! THAT MEANS OUR APPOINTMENT IS AT 2PM.
- "I don't know its like my dick has a mind of its own...."
- Beetlejuice is one of the greatest movies ever made.
- I have a lot of friends, the ones closest to me I don't consider my friend but more of family. I feel more then blessed to have the small handful I have, and even more grateful to know I have friends. So you can imagine what goes through my mind when someone posts a status update on facebook that says "Its funny how the more people that I have come in my life, the more lonely I feel" I can't even comprehend this statement. I can't comprehend it because I can't count how many times I have driven past a homeless person, and not once have I ever seen them write "Lonely, just need friends." That statement is an oxymoron. It's not even possible. uGH!!! JUST UGH!!!
- I'm so close to writing facebook head quarters about my idea for people who are in and out of relationships more then 3 times a year. It bans them from changing their relationship status until they have been dating their boyfriend/girlfriend for more then a year. I CAN'T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY ANYMORE. Just don't even bother changing your relationship status until its REALLY LEGIT. In your case, since you can't tell the difference, just wait till you both have been dating for a year. PLEASE.
- I know your a fucking idiot, but could you just not be for one second?
- If you are in a parking lot, and there is clearly no more spaces available, you can't just make up your own rules about parking. If I am vertically parked, you can't park horizontally behind me and possibly think I can get out. First off, jackass, my car doesn't fly. It also isn't big enough to run your car over.
- Note to self: keep post-its and pens in your car to nicely leave people who poorly park little notes.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? God am I the only one that thinks this? Who the fuck publicly posts about there recent suicide attempt. WHO!? this guy.
- I can't expect much from this town anymore. Not when fat people wear cookie monster shirts, guys with poorly done tattoos think we automatically have something in common, and more then half the people that live here think smoking pot is not actually a drug.
- It's a nice day for a white wedding? NO IT AIN'T BITCH NOT WHEN YOU ARE 500 LBS! Your tits are about to pop out of that tube top dress, GTFO.
- A friend asked her boyfriend "what is wrong with you, what do you consider funny? are there any comedians you like??" his response was "family guy"
- Listen, the thread count does make a fucking difference. SO JUST FORK THE MONEY OUT TO BUY THEM. It will make your saggy ass bed a tiny bit more comfortable.
- It takes a real man to pick up explosive diarrhea from a 16 year old yorkie. Just sayin.
- Don't expect me to fucking contact you when you have canceled plans like a million times.
- Listen up children. TEXT MESSAGING IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF COMMUNICATION. You have a cell phone, use it for talking too.
- I don't know how much more clearer I could get then to tell you that our appointment is at 2pm. Do you need more clarification? Want me to over-night you a letter? fax? pigeon? I SAID 2PM! THAT MEANS OUR APPOINTMENT IS AT 2PM.
- "I don't know its like my dick has a mind of its own...."
- Beetlejuice is one of the greatest movies ever made.
- I have a lot of friends, the ones closest to me I don't consider my friend but more of family. I feel more then blessed to have the small handful I have, and even more grateful to know I have friends. So you can imagine what goes through my mind when someone posts a status update on facebook that says "Its funny how the more people that I have come in my life, the more lonely I feel" I can't even comprehend this statement. I can't comprehend it because I can't count how many times I have driven past a homeless person, and not once have I ever seen them write "Lonely, just need friends." That statement is an oxymoron. It's not even possible. uGH!!! JUST UGH!!!
- I'm so close to writing facebook head quarters about my idea for people who are in and out of relationships more then 3 times a year. It bans them from changing their relationship status until they have been dating their boyfriend/girlfriend for more then a year. I CAN'T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY ANYMORE. Just don't even bother changing your relationship status until its REALLY LEGIT. In your case, since you can't tell the difference, just wait till you both have been dating for a year. PLEASE.
lucky17:
I like the leaving a note idea, I think I will put post-its in my car tomorrow. I just wish I could throw post-its like ninja stars at idiotic people while they are driving too. I also agree with the punctuality issue, I feel that showing up late for an appointment is an instant sign of disrespect. I have come to the conclusion that exotic gender stands for people with animal genitalia.