So....I don't spend nearly as much time on here as I used to. Yeah, I have a lot going on right now and I've been quite busy, but really I'm just bored with the site. The sets have taken on this glossed over, uber-glam quality that to me has been done, done, and done over. Plus, the more they change the layout the more I hate it. Sure, there are a few girls who really stand out and do actually seem to enjoy using their body as an artform, but it seems that most of these ladies just want attention and adoration. Like Suicidegirls has become a popularity contest or something. Which is to be expected, but the concept of originality and artistic expression has really taken a back seat to the blatant pussy shots that everyone seems to love. Meh, how many times have I bitched about this now? And yet here I remain...
Just a lil update on how crazy my little life has gotten....in the past month I have become single for the first time since 8th grade, moved out of the apartment I shared w/ my now ex and roomate, and into a giant dilapidated school building that has been turned into an artist's commune. I used to live in a decent neighborhood just north of campus populated by students and the occasional white-trash crackhead, which was within walking distance of little shops and eatery's, bars, grocery stores, a nice park, the post office, my job....to an isolated ghetto all the way across town that is within walking distance of....well, nothing. Seriously, I walked in one direction for 30 minutes the other day and it was all just one long stretch of concrete and boarded up buildings. The place I live in is pretty cool; it was a school built in 1894 and houses about 40 or more (anti-social and weird) artists who use the former classrooms as studio and living spaces. The studios are all different shapes and sizes and colors, most without bathrooms or kitchens, (we have a kitchen, no bathroom,) but they all have unique character and charm. It's a completely inconvenient place to live, not only because of location but also because to even get to the nearest bathroom requires climbing at least 2 or 3 flights of stairs, and the concrete and hardwood floors are pretty rough on your body for the first few days. I haven't slept more than 5 hours a night since I moved in, because everyone here stays up till 2am almost everyday and I can hear everything through these walls so if someone is having a party down the hall I'm not going to sleep till the early hours. My roommate has to be up every morning @ 7:30, and since my loft where I sleep is right above the kitchen, being a light sleeper I wake up just from the sound of her footsteps as she walks into the kitchen to make coffee. Oh yes, and there are cockroaches and the landlord is nuts and somewhat of a pseudo cult-leader who is more concerned with his own ideals of how community living should be than with the ideals of the community itself. I'm also paying more to live here. (I should also mention, briefly, that I am broke and owe a few people a lot of money.)
Now I'm sure you're wondering why the fuck I chose to move here in the first place. First and most obvious my bf and I broke up and living together was not helping us with the seperation process, and I couldn't afford a place on my own so a friend of mine asked if I'd want to share a studio with her in a crazy starving artist building. Second, the landlord is a good salesman (though a terrible businessman,) and sold me on the idea of being part of a little community where everyone creates art and feeds/loves/takes care of one another. Well so far it's not living up to the beautiful image he created, but there is something special about this place. When the residents actually do get together there is a lot of vibrant creative energy, and I've definitely gotten a little jolt of inspiration, although there seems to be a lot of talk here and not much action. But alas, I did sign a year long lease and must try to make the best of it. It's going to be one crazy ride, I can tell that already. And I have to say our studio is killer sweet and is just begging to be decorated once I am able to really get my hands dirty.
This is a really random and orderless post, but in case anyone is curious...when I said single for the first time since 8th grade, it wasn't a literal time gauge...more like I've been in 3 long relationships with less than 6 collected months of "single" hood in between which pretty much makes up the past 8 years of my life, and for the first time since I was 15 I am making a concious and dedicated decision to focus my energy on my needs and wants rather than somebody else's. So I now finally consider myself single, by choice. It's pretty weird, and harder than I thought it would be, but also very liberating and hopefully empowering. (That's kinda my goal, anyway.)
Hooray for long unstructured posts that result from overwhelming amounts of stress and a severe lack of sleep!!
One last thing...since I feel a need to somehow encompass the past few weeks of my life into this post....the ex and I are still friends, because although he fucked up and things were just pretty much going down the shitter, relationship wise, he's still one of the greatest human beings to ever have entered my life, and we have been friends way too long to throw it away over miscommunications and misunderstandings.
What a ridiculous bunch of run-on sentences. Did anyone really read this whole thing?
P.S. I hope everyone is well, and I apologize for being lazy and just a little apathetic about responses.
Just a lil update on how crazy my little life has gotten....in the past month I have become single for the first time since 8th grade, moved out of the apartment I shared w/ my now ex and roomate, and into a giant dilapidated school building that has been turned into an artist's commune. I used to live in a decent neighborhood just north of campus populated by students and the occasional white-trash crackhead, which was within walking distance of little shops and eatery's, bars, grocery stores, a nice park, the post office, my job....to an isolated ghetto all the way across town that is within walking distance of....well, nothing. Seriously, I walked in one direction for 30 minutes the other day and it was all just one long stretch of concrete and boarded up buildings. The place I live in is pretty cool; it was a school built in 1894 and houses about 40 or more (anti-social and weird) artists who use the former classrooms as studio and living spaces. The studios are all different shapes and sizes and colors, most without bathrooms or kitchens, (we have a kitchen, no bathroom,) but they all have unique character and charm. It's a completely inconvenient place to live, not only because of location but also because to even get to the nearest bathroom requires climbing at least 2 or 3 flights of stairs, and the concrete and hardwood floors are pretty rough on your body for the first few days. I haven't slept more than 5 hours a night since I moved in, because everyone here stays up till 2am almost everyday and I can hear everything through these walls so if someone is having a party down the hall I'm not going to sleep till the early hours. My roommate has to be up every morning @ 7:30, and since my loft where I sleep is right above the kitchen, being a light sleeper I wake up just from the sound of her footsteps as she walks into the kitchen to make coffee. Oh yes, and there are cockroaches and the landlord is nuts and somewhat of a pseudo cult-leader who is more concerned with his own ideals of how community living should be than with the ideals of the community itself. I'm also paying more to live here. (I should also mention, briefly, that I am broke and owe a few people a lot of money.)
Now I'm sure you're wondering why the fuck I chose to move here in the first place. First and most obvious my bf and I broke up and living together was not helping us with the seperation process, and I couldn't afford a place on my own so a friend of mine asked if I'd want to share a studio with her in a crazy starving artist building. Second, the landlord is a good salesman (though a terrible businessman,) and sold me on the idea of being part of a little community where everyone creates art and feeds/loves/takes care of one another. Well so far it's not living up to the beautiful image he created, but there is something special about this place. When the residents actually do get together there is a lot of vibrant creative energy, and I've definitely gotten a little jolt of inspiration, although there seems to be a lot of talk here and not much action. But alas, I did sign a year long lease and must try to make the best of it. It's going to be one crazy ride, I can tell that already. And I have to say our studio is killer sweet and is just begging to be decorated once I am able to really get my hands dirty.
This is a really random and orderless post, but in case anyone is curious...when I said single for the first time since 8th grade, it wasn't a literal time gauge...more like I've been in 3 long relationships with less than 6 collected months of "single" hood in between which pretty much makes up the past 8 years of my life, and for the first time since I was 15 I am making a concious and dedicated decision to focus my energy on my needs and wants rather than somebody else's. So I now finally consider myself single, by choice. It's pretty weird, and harder than I thought it would be, but also very liberating and hopefully empowering. (That's kinda my goal, anyway.)
Hooray for long unstructured posts that result from overwhelming amounts of stress and a severe lack of sleep!!
One last thing...since I feel a need to somehow encompass the past few weeks of my life into this post....the ex and I are still friends, because although he fucked up and things were just pretty much going down the shitter, relationship wise, he's still one of the greatest human beings to ever have entered my life, and we have been friends way too long to throw it away over miscommunications and misunderstandings.
What a ridiculous bunch of run-on sentences. Did anyone really read this whole thing?
P.S. I hope everyone is well, and I apologize for being lazy and just a little apathetic about responses.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
coloboma:
Miss you lady!
peteywheatstraw:
where has emiloo who gone? hope you had fun in the sun!