I. Am. So. Broke.
I've never been so broke in my life. How broke, you ask? Well...
I have about $290.00 in the bank. It's something, I know, but it won't go far. Here's why.
I owe my boyfriend $250.00. If I don't give it to him by this weekend his bank account will be overdrawn. (And, inevitably, so will mine.)
I need to buy a graphing calculator for school, about $110.00. (Not having much luck finding used ones.)
I owe $75.00 for cell phone and car insurance.
$105.43 for car payment.
Electric for last month is about $20.00.
Gas heat for last month will be at least $65.00.
I have a vet bill for about $100.00.
I owe my boss $20.00, because I borrowed $100.00 from him last week which he took out of this weeks check, and this weeks check was only $80.00. (How lame is that!!)
Food I don't need to worry about since I work at a restaurant and can mooch all the food I want, but my car is out of gas, that's another say $10.00.
I don't get paid for 2 weeks. I've been averaging about $40-$50 a night in tips. I work usually 3-4 nights a week.
So my bills for this month, most of which need to be paid by next week, come to about $755.00. What the fuck am I supposed to do??? OH YEAH, and the city auditor keeps sending me letters saying that I owe $235.00 in taxes. I"M A SERVER, how the fuck can I owe $235.00!?!?!
Other than that, things are peachy. Seriously, I'm just trying my hardest not to let it get me down and reminding myself that THIS...this too shall pass. I say it all the time, always puts things in perspective. On the up-side though my dad finally has a job after being unemployed for almost a year. He's always had bad luck with unemployment, so I'm pretty much used to living on the cheap. But hopefully if his job works out, which I have a good feeling about, he has offered to help me pay for school once he's got all his bills squared away. I know a lot of people's parents pay for school so it doesn't seem that impressive, but for me (and my dad,) it's a big deal. A really big deal. He's always felt guilty about not being able to give me "enough" as a kid, so....you know. Anyway.
And as if this entry isn't long enough, here's a poem I like!!
I am not asking to suffer less.
I hope to be nearly crucified.
To live because I don't want to.
That hope, that sweet agent —
My best work is its work.
The horse I ride into Hell is my best horse
And bears its name.
So, friends, drink your cocktails and wear your hats.
Thank you for leaving me this whole world to go mad in.
I am not asking for mercy. I am asking for more.
I don't mind when no mercy comes
Or when it comes in the form of my mad self
Running at me. I am not asking for mercy.
-Sarah Manguso
OH, and btw New Year's was fun, a little awkward because there was a strange imbalance among the people in the room who were'nt acquainted and experiencing something that was similar and at the same time unique for all, BUT a good time nontheless. Hope everyone is enjoying the new year so far. It's all the same to me.
OK I think Ive written enough now!!
I've never been so broke in my life. How broke, you ask? Well...
I have about $290.00 in the bank. It's something, I know, but it won't go far. Here's why.
I owe my boyfriend $250.00. If I don't give it to him by this weekend his bank account will be overdrawn. (And, inevitably, so will mine.)
I need to buy a graphing calculator for school, about $110.00. (Not having much luck finding used ones.)
I owe $75.00 for cell phone and car insurance.
$105.43 for car payment.
Electric for last month is about $20.00.
Gas heat for last month will be at least $65.00.
I have a vet bill for about $100.00.
I owe my boss $20.00, because I borrowed $100.00 from him last week which he took out of this weeks check, and this weeks check was only $80.00. (How lame is that!!)
Food I don't need to worry about since I work at a restaurant and can mooch all the food I want, but my car is out of gas, that's another say $10.00.
I don't get paid for 2 weeks. I've been averaging about $40-$50 a night in tips. I work usually 3-4 nights a week.
So my bills for this month, most of which need to be paid by next week, come to about $755.00. What the fuck am I supposed to do??? OH YEAH, and the city auditor keeps sending me letters saying that I owe $235.00 in taxes. I"M A SERVER, how the fuck can I owe $235.00!?!?!
Other than that, things are peachy. Seriously, I'm just trying my hardest not to let it get me down and reminding myself that THIS...this too shall pass. I say it all the time, always puts things in perspective. On the up-side though my dad finally has a job after being unemployed for almost a year. He's always had bad luck with unemployment, so I'm pretty much used to living on the cheap. But hopefully if his job works out, which I have a good feeling about, he has offered to help me pay for school once he's got all his bills squared away. I know a lot of people's parents pay for school so it doesn't seem that impressive, but for me (and my dad,) it's a big deal. A really big deal. He's always felt guilty about not being able to give me "enough" as a kid, so....you know. Anyway.
And as if this entry isn't long enough, here's a poem I like!!
I am not asking to suffer less.
I hope to be nearly crucified.
To live because I don't want to.
That hope, that sweet agent —
My best work is its work.
The horse I ride into Hell is my best horse
And bears its name.
So, friends, drink your cocktails and wear your hats.
Thank you for leaving me this whole world to go mad in.
I am not asking for mercy. I am asking for more.
I don't mind when no mercy comes
Or when it comes in the form of my mad self
Running at me. I am not asking for mercy.
-Sarah Manguso
OH, and btw New Year's was fun, a little awkward because there was a strange imbalance among the people in the room who were'nt acquainted and experiencing something that was similar and at the same time unique for all, BUT a good time nontheless. Hope everyone is enjoying the new year so far. It's all the same to me.
OK I think Ive written enough now!!
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
It was excellently nice!