embracedeath59

i guess my life right now is ok..but at the same time it sucks...i really want to express how i feel in more detail, but lately i havent had the motivation to do much of anything. i guess im in one of those moods where i just want to get away from michigan for awhile. or get away and start a new life. but right now i know neither of those will happen. i guess ill just do one of those run down of events that have been going on..or at least what i remember right now.

hmm wow. i havent actually updated with anything in like a month...i guess i havent really felt the need to since i think my life sucks... i have hung out with the usual crowd...cramer, tom, jessie, nate, candice, sandra, katrina... i have been cuddling with Katie down the hall. she seems pretty cool, but i have a feeling we arent going any where relationship wise...tom told me she said i wasnt really her type...so i guess i dont really know what we are...or if im happy with what we are. i dont want to call anything off though since she does make me a little happier than usual. sara...well im pretty sure she dislikes me for whatever reasons she has...i know i can be annoying sometimes and overbearing...but i wish when i do someone would just tell me instead of not talking to me. i have seen her like once in the past month. i havent actually talked to her in longer. so i guess that friendship is over...even though i wish it wasnt.

i got the sides of my lip repierced about a week and a half ago. i like them, and i missed them. i also saw MSI last wednesday. i enjoyed it alot as you saw from the post. cramer shaved the sides of my head and dyed my hawk red. it looks alright i guess...i dont think im going to shave the sides again though, and im kinda getting sick of the hawk, i just dont have the motivation to put it up anymore. but i cant get rid of it right now since i would have no hair then...and that would make me sad. i also got my ticket for Bauhaus which i can't wait for. i just dont know how im getting to it yet.

meh. i feel like i suck at everything. im a shitty friend, i suck at school, i just suck at life. i need a job and i have a feeling i wont be able to find one...i just wish i could be truly happy for a change... and maybe everything else would get better. it has been a long time where i was truly happy...*sigh* i really miss Ruth its been a really long time since i have heard from her...and even longer since ive seen her. meh. i just want to curl up in a ball and cry right now. just cry and cry untill there is nothing left.