"I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically
Before I launch into my holiday season hell bent rampage I thought it only fair to take a look back at 2006.
Oh yes, it's stupid pointless compulsive quiz time. Complete with last years (mostly ironic) answers.
Before I launch into my holiday season hell bent rampage I thought it only fair to take a look back at 2006.
Oh yes, it's stupid pointless compulsive quiz time. Complete with last years (mostly ironic) answers.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
(Bought a steamer, spent time abroad on my own, licked my own nipples.)
Saw my own insides, sold a house, spent time 'on the dole' and milked myself.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
(I stopped smoking for about four days so no. I have goals for next year instead of resolutions. The less failure the better!)
I stopped drinking and smoking *sobs*. I hate resolutions. I still feel like I've lost a limb.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
(Not that I'm aware of! *checks* No I didn't)
No, I had all the birth giving covered so that they didn't have to.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
(Yep. That's what happens to people who get close to me. Mwahahahaa)
Nope. Good job really as they'd have had to shoe horn me into one of my suits.
5. What countries did you visit?
(Only Spain this year. Boo hoo.)
Spain. Again. I was too fat to fly.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
(Happiness. I wouldn't say no to bigger breasts either.)
A waistline. A social life. A job I don't hate with a passion.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
(The last Saturday in July ... the day someone very important to me died.)
7th October for obvious reasons.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
(Drinking 2 pints of Strongbow and 8 pints of Old Rosie and still being able to walk.)
I got myself clean, straight and sober, quit smoking, and paid off (most) of my debts. All for a good cause of course.
9. What was your biggest failure?
(Staying in a bad relationship for as long as I did. Being unable to fix a leak without the help of a male.)
Paying to go to the cinema to see a Sandra Bullock chick flick. What can I say? My mum wanted to see it
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
(Yes ... mostly drink related suprisingly.)
Both. I've been both unlucky and clumsy this year. The term 'walking disaster' springs to mind.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
(Tickets to Download 2005)
Tickets to Dylan Moran & The Mighty Boosh. Quality.
12. Any brushes with fame?
(Busted and Coby Dick have both been into my local bar. Oh how fucking lucky am I?)
Penny Lancaster and the dude from GMTV were in the labour ward at the same time as I was. Fuck yeah.
13. What did you do for money?
(Ran a pub, worked in an office, took part in ridiculous drunken bets).
Chased ridiculous debt for an even more ridiculous company, sponged off the state, cunningly sold a terrible house to an unsuspecting victim.
14. Where did most of your money go?
{Bills and booze .. no it's not a typo)
Debts, solicitors and mothercare.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
(Moving away from the city and finally going to Uni. That and the Nottingham Beer Festival.)
Watching all 5 seasons of 24, moving to West Bridgford and buying a pushchair that looks like it was built by the SAS.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
(There are a selection of songs from gigs that'll make me think of 2005 although they weren't released this year. Wasn't exactly the best year for music was it?)
Alice Cooper 'Feed my Frankenstein'. I spent 6 months waking up to it before work. Makes me laugh every morning.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
(Happier)
Happier
ii. thinner or fatter?
(Pretty much the same)
Fatter, nagdammit.
iii. richer or poorer?
(Richer)
Richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
(I wish I'd done more fit men. Oh I get what you mean. Erm, I wish I'd followed my gut feeling more and trusted my own instincts over other peoples opinions. I am ALWAYS right fuckdammit)
Shagging. 2006 was like a barren landscape. I'm surprised the midwives didn't find tumbleweed down there. I'd have liked to have spent some time out of Nottingham. It's a little suffocating at times. More sleep would have been lovely.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
(Spending time and effort trying to fix a relationship that wasn't worth saving. I wish I'd spent less time waiting for buses. How much fucking time have I lost?)
Eating chocolate and over analysing how unsuitable a candidate I am for motherhood.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
(At home with the doggy and some choice DVDs. Cook some dinner, watch some films, masturbate for a bit. Normal day really.)
With my little girl in a Santa dress, my sister in a mood, my mum burning dinner in our kitchen and no doubt with my breasts out at the dinner table. Cash back.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
(Nope ... I actually fell out of love in 2005)
Yes, with the little lady.
23. How many one-night stands?
(None actually)
There was that one weekend at the start of the year. Emotionally it was probably on the same level as a one night stand.
24. Best place you had sex?
(The roof of a building in the city on a scorching summers day)
In my bum bum? Nah, just kidding. We all know I didn't get any this year. Stop taunting me. Bastards.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
(No. I haven't really disliked anyone this year. I'm still enjoying hating the dickheads from 2004.)
Only one springs to mind. I dislike far more people now though. It was a good year for finding out who my real friends are, and more shockingly, how few friends I actually have.
26. What was the best book you read?
(I haven't read enough books this year to comment)
I have to admit that I read some real trash this year. Jeffrey Deaver threw out a couple of good new books.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
(That if you put different levels of water into milk bottles and blow on them they make different noises.)
Given the right situation I am more than capable of impersonating several barnyard animals.
28. What did you want and get?
(I wanted to go to South Africa to go shark diving. I got told it wasn't going to happen.)
I wanted to be able to ring the bank just once and speak to someone with a basic grasp of the English language and a clue about what you're doing. I got an operator in New Delhi who repeatedly insisted that you don't need a bank card to make a deposit in a HSBC machine. Erm have you ever seen one of these machines? Well no, but it says here that blah blah blah. Dickheads.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
(The only one that springs to mind is The Wedding Crashers. It should have been Land of The Dead but it was a bit of a disappointment.)
It should have been A Cock and Bull Story but it sucked turkey flange. In fact, looking back at it I really did see some piss poor films this year. Next question please
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
(I spent my 21st birthday in Spain with the ex. We spent the day arguing. Mint!)
I found out I was pregnant, went to dinner, then to see Jimmy Carr who wrote me a birthday card. Oh yeah, it was a craaaazy 22nd.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
(Having either been single or in a satisfying relationship, not being stuck in a shitty one. The invention of a reasonably priced hoverboard would also have made my year. I'd have liked to have had solo polo vision.)
Still waiting for the hoverboard A 15 minute labour would have rocked.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
(Lots of black. Variations on a suit but always with a pair of DCs, preferrably shades and usually visibly breasts. Bright hair.)
Michelle McManus meets Boy George. Luckily there aren't too many photos.
34. What kept you sane?
(Alan Partridge, Skittles, Jack Daniels and Lucky Strikes.)
Black Books = instant calm.
35. Out of 10 - how would you rate 2006?
(3 out of 10)
9 out of 10
36. Where do you think you will be this time next year?
(In a cottage by the sea with the dog. Hopefully not sat at home on cocking Xmas Eve.)
Who fucking knows? And yes, I will be sat at home on cocking Xmas Eve this year.
37. Who did you miss?
(I missed a few people from the hometown, my old boss (he's my substitute dad) ... I also missed seeing The Prodigy as I was busy.)
I was more aware of a void in my life. I have yet to meet the person to fill it.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
(I met some excellent new people this year and am going to now fuck off and leave them all behind ... ha ha!)
Lilah *awww*
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
(A taxi driver on speed dial that knows where you live and is a nice person is a valuable necessity. Also ... White Russians, wine and cider don't mix.)
Cock makes me fat.
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
(Bought a steamer, spent time abroad on my own, licked my own nipples.)
Saw my own insides, sold a house, spent time 'on the dole' and milked myself.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
(I stopped smoking for about four days so no. I have goals for next year instead of resolutions. The less failure the better!)
I stopped drinking and smoking *sobs*. I hate resolutions. I still feel like I've lost a limb.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
(Not that I'm aware of! *checks* No I didn't)
No, I had all the birth giving covered so that they didn't have to.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
(Yep. That's what happens to people who get close to me. Mwahahahaa)
Nope. Good job really as they'd have had to shoe horn me into one of my suits.
5. What countries did you visit?
(Only Spain this year. Boo hoo.)
Spain. Again. I was too fat to fly.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
(Happiness. I wouldn't say no to bigger breasts either.)
A waistline. A social life. A job I don't hate with a passion.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
(The last Saturday in July ... the day someone very important to me died.)
7th October for obvious reasons.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
(Drinking 2 pints of Strongbow and 8 pints of Old Rosie and still being able to walk.)
I got myself clean, straight and sober, quit smoking, and paid off (most) of my debts. All for a good cause of course.
9. What was your biggest failure?
(Staying in a bad relationship for as long as I did. Being unable to fix a leak without the help of a male.)
Paying to go to the cinema to see a Sandra Bullock chick flick. What can I say? My mum wanted to see it
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
(Yes ... mostly drink related suprisingly.)
Both. I've been both unlucky and clumsy this year. The term 'walking disaster' springs to mind.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
(Tickets to Download 2005)
Tickets to Dylan Moran & The Mighty Boosh. Quality.
12. Any brushes with fame?
(Busted and Coby Dick have both been into my local bar. Oh how fucking lucky am I?)
Penny Lancaster and the dude from GMTV were in the labour ward at the same time as I was. Fuck yeah.
13. What did you do for money?
(Ran a pub, worked in an office, took part in ridiculous drunken bets).
Chased ridiculous debt for an even more ridiculous company, sponged off the state, cunningly sold a terrible house to an unsuspecting victim.
14. Where did most of your money go?
{Bills and booze .. no it's not a typo)
Debts, solicitors and mothercare.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
(Moving away from the city and finally going to Uni. That and the Nottingham Beer Festival.)
Watching all 5 seasons of 24, moving to West Bridgford and buying a pushchair that looks like it was built by the SAS.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
(There are a selection of songs from gigs that'll make me think of 2005 although they weren't released this year. Wasn't exactly the best year for music was it?)
Alice Cooper 'Feed my Frankenstein'. I spent 6 months waking up to it before work. Makes me laugh every morning.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
(Happier)
Happier
ii. thinner or fatter?
(Pretty much the same)
Fatter, nagdammit.
iii. richer or poorer?
(Richer)
Richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
(I wish I'd done more fit men. Oh I get what you mean. Erm, I wish I'd followed my gut feeling more and trusted my own instincts over other peoples opinions. I am ALWAYS right fuckdammit)
Shagging. 2006 was like a barren landscape. I'm surprised the midwives didn't find tumbleweed down there. I'd have liked to have spent some time out of Nottingham. It's a little suffocating at times. More sleep would have been lovely.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
(Spending time and effort trying to fix a relationship that wasn't worth saving. I wish I'd spent less time waiting for buses. How much fucking time have I lost?)
Eating chocolate and over analysing how unsuitable a candidate I am for motherhood.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
(At home with the doggy and some choice DVDs. Cook some dinner, watch some films, masturbate for a bit. Normal day really.)
With my little girl in a Santa dress, my sister in a mood, my mum burning dinner in our kitchen and no doubt with my breasts out at the dinner table. Cash back.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
(Nope ... I actually fell out of love in 2005)
Yes, with the little lady.
23. How many one-night stands?
(None actually)
There was that one weekend at the start of the year. Emotionally it was probably on the same level as a one night stand.
24. Best place you had sex?
(The roof of a building in the city on a scorching summers day)
In my bum bum? Nah, just kidding. We all know I didn't get any this year. Stop taunting me. Bastards.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
(No. I haven't really disliked anyone this year. I'm still enjoying hating the dickheads from 2004.)
Only one springs to mind. I dislike far more people now though. It was a good year for finding out who my real friends are, and more shockingly, how few friends I actually have.
26. What was the best book you read?
(I haven't read enough books this year to comment)
I have to admit that I read some real trash this year. Jeffrey Deaver threw out a couple of good new books.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
(That if you put different levels of water into milk bottles and blow on them they make different noises.)
Given the right situation I am more than capable of impersonating several barnyard animals.
28. What did you want and get?
(I wanted to go to South Africa to go shark diving. I got told it wasn't going to happen.)
I wanted to be able to ring the bank just once and speak to someone with a basic grasp of the English language and a clue about what you're doing. I got an operator in New Delhi who repeatedly insisted that you don't need a bank card to make a deposit in a HSBC machine. Erm have you ever seen one of these machines? Well no, but it says here that blah blah blah. Dickheads.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
(The only one that springs to mind is The Wedding Crashers. It should have been Land of The Dead but it was a bit of a disappointment.)
It should have been A Cock and Bull Story but it sucked turkey flange. In fact, looking back at it I really did see some piss poor films this year. Next question please
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
(I spent my 21st birthday in Spain with the ex. We spent the day arguing. Mint!)
I found out I was pregnant, went to dinner, then to see Jimmy Carr who wrote me a birthday card. Oh yeah, it was a craaaazy 22nd.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
(Having either been single or in a satisfying relationship, not being stuck in a shitty one. The invention of a reasonably priced hoverboard would also have made my year. I'd have liked to have had solo polo vision.)
Still waiting for the hoverboard A 15 minute labour would have rocked.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
(Lots of black. Variations on a suit but always with a pair of DCs, preferrably shades and usually visibly breasts. Bright hair.)
Michelle McManus meets Boy George. Luckily there aren't too many photos.
34. What kept you sane?
(Alan Partridge, Skittles, Jack Daniels and Lucky Strikes.)
Black Books = instant calm.
35. Out of 10 - how would you rate 2006?
(3 out of 10)
9 out of 10
36. Where do you think you will be this time next year?
(In a cottage by the sea with the dog. Hopefully not sat at home on cocking Xmas Eve.)
Who fucking knows? And yes, I will be sat at home on cocking Xmas Eve this year.
37. Who did you miss?
(I missed a few people from the hometown, my old boss (he's my substitute dad) ... I also missed seeing The Prodigy as I was busy.)
I was more aware of a void in my life. I have yet to meet the person to fill it.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
(I met some excellent new people this year and am going to now fuck off and leave them all behind ... ha ha!)
Lilah *awww*
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
(A taxi driver on speed dial that knows where you live and is a nice person is a valuable necessity. Also ... White Russians, wine and cider don't mix.)
Cock makes me fat.
"You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before? "
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I just hope she doesn't take up chewing socks, pants and bras...