"Willy Wonka? Johnny Wanker"
So ... what did I miss?
Top 3 reasons for being net ignorant
(1) Moving house
Simple as that really. I made the deicsion to move out of my house before the sale went through and enjoyed being a land baron for a month. Having two homes isn't quite as fun as it sounds and luckily the bachelorette pad finally sold at the start of last month. I'm now renting a house (with annoying younger sibling in tow) on a posh estate in the suburbs of Nottingham and enjoying irritating the toff neighbours with loud metal and general non-toffness. The downside is that I don't have neighbours to steal internet off and so have had to wait to actually set it up for myself. Posh tit wank arse monkey pig fuckers.
(2) That whole pregnancy thing
I now have 19 days to go until my due date and the little lady could put in an appearance at any time. This has obviously led to me frantically (read slow, I'm not exactly slender at the moment) preparing for her arrival. Other than a few minor details, such as the name, I'm pretty much set. There is still some amount of nervousness surrounding the whole 8lbs vs 10cms issue but it's a bit fucking late to worry about that now.
(3) Blissful ignorance
Having not touched the internet for over 2 months I have been able to avoid any impending contact from the Impregnator. The last time we spoke (25 weeks ago) I'd planned to move up to Lancashire when my house sold. With the house sale completing I was concerned that this might prompt contact from the dickless subhuman scummer, so I've been avoiding email and the such like. Luckily I was wrong, and I've heard nothing. All good news as I was beginning to have withdrawal symptoms and I DESPERATELY need to download and watch Season 5 of 24 before baby arrives and I don't have the time!
Normal service will resume shortly ...
"What do you mean? A lightbulb goes and I just fuck off and move house"
So ... what did I miss?
Top 3 reasons for being net ignorant
(1) Moving house
Simple as that really. I made the deicsion to move out of my house before the sale went through and enjoyed being a land baron for a month. Having two homes isn't quite as fun as it sounds and luckily the bachelorette pad finally sold at the start of last month. I'm now renting a house (with annoying younger sibling in tow) on a posh estate in the suburbs of Nottingham and enjoying irritating the toff neighbours with loud metal and general non-toffness. The downside is that I don't have neighbours to steal internet off and so have had to wait to actually set it up for myself. Posh tit wank arse monkey pig fuckers.
(2) That whole pregnancy thing
I now have 19 days to go until my due date and the little lady could put in an appearance at any time. This has obviously led to me frantically (read slow, I'm not exactly slender at the moment) preparing for her arrival. Other than a few minor details, such as the name, I'm pretty much set. There is still some amount of nervousness surrounding the whole 8lbs vs 10cms issue but it's a bit fucking late to worry about that now.
(3) Blissful ignorance
Having not touched the internet for over 2 months I have been able to avoid any impending contact from the Impregnator. The last time we spoke (25 weeks ago) I'd planned to move up to Lancashire when my house sold. With the house sale completing I was concerned that this might prompt contact from the dickless subhuman scummer, so I've been avoiding email and the such like. Luckily I was wrong, and I've heard nothing. All good news as I was beginning to have withdrawal symptoms and I DESPERATELY need to download and watch Season 5 of 24 before baby arrives and I don't have the time!
Normal service will resume shortly ...
"What do you mean? A lightbulb goes and I just fuck off and move house"
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
season 6 starts in January.... keep up!
basically my whole life is geared up for the 6th november
if we dont hear from you in the mean time... good luck with everything - we expect pictures of mumsy things