"Isn't Pete Doherty the fattest junkie in the world? What does he cut it with? Utterly Butterly?"
You can say what you like about Jimmy Carr but that is one fucking funny comment.
So, it looks like I may have gotten the job I went for last week which is excellent news. It means I can celebrate by going out and buying Season 4 of 24. Yipee!
Todays Top 5 sponsored by Powergen
(1) The impregnator gets the MC Hammer send off
Having tried to use our child as blackmail against me in a "I'll be part of your lives if we get back together" kinda way he was promptly issued with a "You can't touch this", and bumping into him in the street now would result in hammer time. Oh how beating him repeatedly with a hammer would please me.
(2) Light sabres kick ass
I have just spent two days solid playing Revenge Of The Sith and loving light sabre action. The only annoying part is when you've spent valuable time as Anakin getting all Masterful and gaining experience when suddenly WHAM, you are suddenly Obi Wan "annoying bearded bastard" Kenobi who can barely bitch slap a droid. Despite this, I am the master. All hail my masterful jedi skills.
(3) The funeral plan
It has been decided by the powers that be (ie me and a mate) that my funeral should be like the funeral in the video for November Rain. There is to be someone in a MASSIVE wig playing air guitar on the organ/piano to the guitar solo. The vicar or suchlike must wear a bandana and there is to be rain. The wake will be set outside where there will be a massive cake and when it starts to rain my friend will throw himself over the buffet table and through the cake. Awesome.
(4) What does Slash keep in his hair?
The definites we came up with were; packet of fags, plectrums, hot naked lady and zippo. We were also wondering if the bank heist had used Slash's hair as somewhere to hide the loot would they have been more successful? It was decided yes.
(5) The Mighty Boosh is tomorrow!!!
I decided that if I had to be in the same room as, let alone sat next to the Impregnator I would turn into a psycopathic killer so I'm taking my friend Daniel. In return I know I'll get an hour lecture about how having a child right now will destroy my current lifestyle ... does this look like my fucking bothered face? I mean, I like going out getting wasted, snorting a few lines of coke of a naked lady and waking up wearing lederhosen as much as the next person but at some point you just have to grow up.
The viewings went well and I'm going to jinx things by looking for a new house in Nottingham for a few months before moving away. (Away being a quaint little seaside town in Lancashire a few miles out of Preston .... not Blackpool you sarcastic fuckers)
The next week is going to be spent awaiting the postman with details of new employment, blood test results and my scan date. Spunk flicking letter delivering cock monkey.
"Crunchy nut cornflakes are just frosties for wankers"
You can say what you like about Jimmy Carr but that is one fucking funny comment.
So, it looks like I may have gotten the job I went for last week which is excellent news. It means I can celebrate by going out and buying Season 4 of 24. Yipee!
Todays Top 5 sponsored by Powergen
(1) The impregnator gets the MC Hammer send off
Having tried to use our child as blackmail against me in a "I'll be part of your lives if we get back together" kinda way he was promptly issued with a "You can't touch this", and bumping into him in the street now would result in hammer time. Oh how beating him repeatedly with a hammer would please me.
(2) Light sabres kick ass
I have just spent two days solid playing Revenge Of The Sith and loving light sabre action. The only annoying part is when you've spent valuable time as Anakin getting all Masterful and gaining experience when suddenly WHAM, you are suddenly Obi Wan "annoying bearded bastard" Kenobi who can barely bitch slap a droid. Despite this, I am the master. All hail my masterful jedi skills.
(3) The funeral plan
It has been decided by the powers that be (ie me and a mate) that my funeral should be like the funeral in the video for November Rain. There is to be someone in a MASSIVE wig playing air guitar on the organ/piano to the guitar solo. The vicar or suchlike must wear a bandana and there is to be rain. The wake will be set outside where there will be a massive cake and when it starts to rain my friend will throw himself over the buffet table and through the cake. Awesome.
(4) What does Slash keep in his hair?
The definites we came up with were; packet of fags, plectrums, hot naked lady and zippo. We were also wondering if the bank heist had used Slash's hair as somewhere to hide the loot would they have been more successful? It was decided yes.
(5) The Mighty Boosh is tomorrow!!!
I decided that if I had to be in the same room as, let alone sat next to the Impregnator I would turn into a psycopathic killer so I'm taking my friend Daniel. In return I know I'll get an hour lecture about how having a child right now will destroy my current lifestyle ... does this look like my fucking bothered face? I mean, I like going out getting wasted, snorting a few lines of coke of a naked lady and waking up wearing lederhosen as much as the next person but at some point you just have to grow up.
The viewings went well and I'm going to jinx things by looking for a new house in Nottingham for a few months before moving away. (Away being a quaint little seaside town in Lancashire a few miles out of Preston .... not Blackpool you sarcastic fuckers)
The next week is going to be spent awaiting the postman with details of new employment, blood test results and my scan date. Spunk flicking letter delivering cock monkey.
"Crunchy nut cornflakes are just frosties for wankers"
VIEW 25 of 33 COMMENTS
Bitch slapping droids is always fun, Kenobi is a lame fucker. That game annoys me.
Yep, I'm slowly turning into a Myspace stalker. That'll teach her to go round shagging other girls husbands...