elysia

"To me religion seems like a bunch of people talking to their imaginary friend"

Oh how I love freeview .... Quincy, Peep Show and Moonlighting. It doesn't get much better.
The obvious added bonus is that if you watch the 'next episode' of such things as 'Desperate Housewives' straight after the one on channel 4 you only have to, realistically, watch TV every two weeks. Awesome.


Top five whatever the fuck you wanna call them;

(1) The "Selection Day"
Oh yes ... four hours of interviews, role plays and tests to see if you are capable of doing a piss easy customer service job. What fun. Luckily I amused myself all day with the fact that one of the 'recruiters' looked uncannily like the ginger guy out of 'Spoons'. I could just picture him in my head getting into his car after work and driving to a storage unit where he'd just sit on his own for hours. Unfortunately at no point did he shout; "And this time try and keep your bloody knickers on"
... which was a shame

(2) Crazy people with money
It appears that there are some crazy mother fuckers out there who have far more money than sense and want to view my house. Crazy twat faces. In the space of four days I've had two requested viewings which isn't bad going. Let's just hope that one of them has a mental instability and is blind and so thinks my house is worth paying 80k for. Then I can go rent a new build house further out of the city for a few months before I leave the 'ham for good.

(3) Annoying dreams
I wouldn't mind having constant erotic dreams if there was any chance that I'd be getting some in the near future.
At the moment they seem to involve the following;







Not to mention the appearances by people I know in odd places. I'm also enjoying the fact that as I can't be arsed to re-size the pics, Noel Fieldings head would fit perfectly in Cristinas crotch. There's a thought for later.
I figure it'll be at least two years before I get to dust off the vag and put it to good use again. Hmmm ... lovely.

(4) Peoples opinion of Slipknot
You may think it's just noise and there are no real lyrics. You may think that I've completely lost my mind for liking them as a band but not being a twelve year old boy in a hoodie trapped in the late 90s. You are merely proving that you are indeed narrow minded and that you've probably only ever heard 'Spit it out'. I challenge you to go download 'Circle', shut the fuck up and enjoy it, and I'll see you at their next gig.

(5) David Mitchell & Robert Webb come to ... Derby?
What what what what and why? I hate Derby. Why would you want to do that but not come to Nottingham you ass donkeys? It would happily complete my comedy gigging for the year but oh no you'd rather go to Derby, the arse end sheep shagging neighbourhood of bastards. Fuck you then, I'll stay in that day.


I refuse to fill out that Q thing going round on the principle that I can't be fucking arsed.

"Super Hans got a bass loop for our track that is so good that when he tried turning it off, he physically couldn't do it. "