"HEADLINE :: Where now for man raised by puffins?"
The O.C sucked. Fucking flat stomached bastards. With any luck it should be better next week, although I'll have to tape it, as this time next week I will be sat in the departure lounge at the airport. BACK OF THE NET. Can't wait for a bit of ...
Part of me was tempted to never update again as I was enjoying that picture of Keifer a lot. That'll be one for the wank bank.
Top five random things you start thinking about when you're bored
(1) How far would you go to get milk into your kids?
It's one of the tag lines used on a new cereal advert. I'd happily inject milk into children. Using a syringe of course. Syphon it in through the ears maybe. Blood to milk transfusion? Chop off babies head, put on spike, fill body with milk? Not so practical but nonetheless muchos fun.
(2) What's the funniest name you can give an iPod?
My sister is still attempting in vain to get an iPod that works. We're currently on corrupt iPod shuffle number three and tomorrow she goes to swap it for number four.
As I am getting royally pissed off with having to swap them for her I sent her into the Apple shop to get them to have a look at it. Not only did they not fix it but she was less than impressed when she returned.
Having plugged it into their system the shop assistant had asked her what the iPod had been named. She was unsure so they ran through the list. It was at the point that he read out;
"Gaynors fat loss apple pod of shite ... where's my cake biatch"
that she knew they had found it.
I think she was most upset that from that point the shop assistant decided to call her Gaynor, which isn't actually her name. I gave her the nickname after she managed to go to the gym and actually put on weight instead of lose it. She still hasn't brought me any cake. Needless to say I had the last laugh.
(3) What will the storyline for Alan Partridge : The Movie be?
It's in pre-production which may well lead to nothing, but surely there are very few storylines that can turn Partridge into a hero of the silver screen without fucking up the concept entirely. I'd like to see him dressed as a zombie doing some of his James Bond moves as an East Anglian Superhero. Where Popeye needed spinach, Partridge needs Sunny Delight. We can but hope.
(4) Extending dwarf chairs ... can I have one?
This will make far more sense to anyone who saw CSI on Saturday or indeed has ever seen that particular episode. It was set at a dwarfs convention and included a dwarf who had an electric wheelchair that extended upwards in order to make him/her taller. Reminded me of Dr Evil.
Anyway ... I want one. It'd have so many uses.
For example; it'd make kissing tall guys easier without us both getting the dreaded neck ache, it'd make painting the ceiling a doddle, it'd be easier to reach the higher level magazines in the newsagents, if I modified the back rest to make it look more throne-like I could extend the chair upwards and look down on all the poor people below. An evil throne. Mwaha ha ha ha.
(5) Is Barry Scott 'Cillit Banging' Jill?
Oh yeah. Barry Scott the king of Cillit Bang has a new sidekick. I really have nothing to say about this, I just wanted to use the term 'Cillit Banging'. Oh how I amuse myself.
The other exciting thing for this week other than the obvious trip to Spain, is the release of 'A Cock and Bull Story' on Friday. Excellent.
"HEADLINE :: Russia elects cobweb"
The O.C sucked. Fucking flat stomached bastards. With any luck it should be better next week, although I'll have to tape it, as this time next week I will be sat in the departure lounge at the airport. BACK OF THE NET. Can't wait for a bit of ...
Part of me was tempted to never update again as I was enjoying that picture of Keifer a lot. That'll be one for the wank bank.
Top five random things you start thinking about when you're bored
(1) How far would you go to get milk into your kids?
It's one of the tag lines used on a new cereal advert. I'd happily inject milk into children. Using a syringe of course. Syphon it in through the ears maybe. Blood to milk transfusion? Chop off babies head, put on spike, fill body with milk? Not so practical but nonetheless muchos fun.
(2) What's the funniest name you can give an iPod?
My sister is still attempting in vain to get an iPod that works. We're currently on corrupt iPod shuffle number three and tomorrow she goes to swap it for number four.
As I am getting royally pissed off with having to swap them for her I sent her into the Apple shop to get them to have a look at it. Not only did they not fix it but she was less than impressed when she returned.
Having plugged it into their system the shop assistant had asked her what the iPod had been named. She was unsure so they ran through the list. It was at the point that he read out;
"Gaynors fat loss apple pod of shite ... where's my cake biatch"
that she knew they had found it.
I think she was most upset that from that point the shop assistant decided to call her Gaynor, which isn't actually her name. I gave her the nickname after she managed to go to the gym and actually put on weight instead of lose it. She still hasn't brought me any cake. Needless to say I had the last laugh.
(3) What will the storyline for Alan Partridge : The Movie be?
It's in pre-production which may well lead to nothing, but surely there are very few storylines that can turn Partridge into a hero of the silver screen without fucking up the concept entirely. I'd like to see him dressed as a zombie doing some of his James Bond moves as an East Anglian Superhero. Where Popeye needed spinach, Partridge needs Sunny Delight. We can but hope.
(4) Extending dwarf chairs ... can I have one?
This will make far more sense to anyone who saw CSI on Saturday or indeed has ever seen that particular episode. It was set at a dwarfs convention and included a dwarf who had an electric wheelchair that extended upwards in order to make him/her taller. Reminded me of Dr Evil.
Anyway ... I want one. It'd have so many uses.
For example; it'd make kissing tall guys easier without us both getting the dreaded neck ache, it'd make painting the ceiling a doddle, it'd be easier to reach the higher level magazines in the newsagents, if I modified the back rest to make it look more throne-like I could extend the chair upwards and look down on all the poor people below. An evil throne. Mwaha ha ha ha.
(5) Is Barry Scott 'Cillit Banging' Jill?
Oh yeah. Barry Scott the king of Cillit Bang has a new sidekick. I really have nothing to say about this, I just wanted to use the term 'Cillit Banging'. Oh how I amuse myself.
The other exciting thing for this week other than the obvious trip to Spain, is the release of 'A Cock and Bull Story' on Friday. Excellent.
"HEADLINE :: Russia elects cobweb"
VIEW 25 of 57 COMMENTS
last time I went there it was some sort of 60's night (though judging from the clientele I think it might actually have been over 60's night!)
As for the absinthe, phew! Yeah it's good stuff but I wasn't right til this morning. And there's still half the bottle left, it's grinning evilly at me every time I walk in the kitchen
(4) with a console controlling missiles, death rays, and a PA system to issue your evil demands and ultimatums?