new model images from last weeks shoot with black lion (remember, the one i was hideously late for???)
BRAIN NOISE-
so, im in a really romantic mood recently, i dont know whats happening to me...i think i might actually be growing up! :O:O:O iv been drinking beer and everything!!!!
i cant help but feel a little dissatisfied with life because i just want nothing more than to settle down with my boyfriend, but money is an issue!
sometimes i think im just ungrateful and feel guilty- im in the process of getting my dream job, my full drivers licence just came through and nothings really wrong, im just not were i want to be, i keep getting broody too which is REALLY unlike me, i normally hate children...
iv always been one to push my self a little to hard but i think im just starting to realise that im only human, i want to make time to relax and for things like sg and family, right now im doing 45 hours of work a week on top of modelling.....and it's probably the least iv ever worked in my life! i used to do up to 7 days a week!!!!!
i wanna up my usage on this site, im starting to feel a bit like a ghost, but then iv not really had time to be active!
Elyes New Outlook Action Plan:
1. realise and accept that i am only one human person
2. realise and accept that it's ok to relax and to make time to relax
3. break from modelling untill after Christmas when work is more settled
4. revisit the charity work i used to make time for!!!!!!!!
5. be more social on this site!
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY, slap myself in the face and get grateful/ stop wishing my life away/ RELAX/ im only 21....there's time!
.....that should do it
im sorry iv been using my blogs as a dumping ground for random crazy ass bitch thoughts recently....i need to sort my head, i think its since iv been off my anti depressants, im still adjusting, i feel fine happiness wise but there's alot going on up there....as you know haha
if you havent
a. given up on me
b. decided im crazy
c. fallen asleep
its about to get more light hearted :)
LIFE-
i had my foot inked with the word Babooshka which i love
one of my friends mum told me it meens grandmother or whore in russian or something haha but i have it for the kate bush song, when i was young me and my sisters would dance around my mums feet to it while she sang and did the housework
i saw my girlies that i lived with while doing my degree
my faux, woolen shoot dreads came in the post to and im kinda wishing i had dreads now!!!!
i think i might wear them for my next sg set XD
TIS THE SEASON-
im really excited for christmas this year, my dad just got us the most beautiful tree, we're waiting for my eldest sister to get home untill we decorate, its tradition in my family that me and my sisters decorate the tree with stuff we made in kinder garden while listening to out chinese christmas carol sd that my mum got as a joke gift about 10 years ago! hahaha its so silly, its like being on drugs! but its not chistmas in my house untill you've heard it!
i need to go shopping and treat my lovely family!
BEEM ME UP SCOTTIE-
before i sign off this crazy, bi poler blog, i wanna say feel free to email me anytime ( if your not running away screaming), like i said i wanna get more active again and i used to love just chatting to people on here, it would be great to hear from you (but no pictures of dicks please! i will not reply!)
keep optimistic! speek soon xxx
