Every time I ring someone up I consider the correlation between each of the items at hand.
Short stocky balding man, shirt tucked in, pants too short, slightly overweight, those brown sandals that look like house slippers. Purchase: Monistat and condoms.
I can't hide the disgust on my face. I wonder who's got the yeast infection that he's trying to bone: his wife at home? Or is he bringing it to his regular hooker.
Chester is full of hookers. Working at Eckerd I often wondered where all of these old men where getting laid because condoms were always a big seller.
Anyone purchasing condoms makes me think twice. Housewife purchasing condoms and bananas doesn't make me think banana splits before bed. It makes me think she's doing some weird condom over the banana masturbation technique to lube that sucker up.
Anytime you purchase underwear at Wal-mart I can't help but think about what they look like on you. I don't know why. I wish I didn't most of the time seeing as our customers aren't nearly as attractive as I would like.
When a man buys women's underwear I still picture them on him, I never think they are for his wife. When he buys tighty whitey and a muscle shirt (a white trash starter kit) my stomach turns. I all the sudden look to see if he has a Nascar hat on. And he usually does. Ha.
If you buy thongs at Wal-mart I almost always think that they won't look good on you, as I do believe that they don't look that great on anyone. I mean yes, perfect bodies aside. I have some cute little panties that are practically thongs, but these strings, just strings, no material at all thongs, they don't do anything for you. Might as well be naked, you would most definitely look better pantyless than in one of those- and what's sexier than going out with no panties on? Haha. PS I wear panties.
Tall, upper class looking man, suit, fancy watch buys tighty whitey with cup sewn in. I'm confused. He doesn't look like someone playing sports anytime soon. Maybe he thought that he would get back into after high school, but really, its been 15 years and he's no longer good at it. I picture his wife kicking him in the balls a lot. I wonder, what is this guy protecting his jewels from? I want to ask, I almost do, but I remember its not appropriate.
(So I am thinking of writing a book with little excerpts on cashiering, since it's a job most everyone has had. This is something I would put in it, of course its un-edited and well, off the top of my head but what do you think? I would also like to add chapters on: What its like to have every single customer ask me if they can see and touch my tattoo, People who want to see the manager because they feel that the cash register miscounted their transaction and that it couldn't possibly bee 400 dollars, because they only brought 94 dollars. The time someone accused me of stealing their nine dollar bill and her sunglasses, the woman who told me the ATM took her money and she wants it from me now (same woman), The joys of everyone yelling at the cashier because they know they can and how much I feel like a therapist to the community from the talks these people have with me.
Short stocky balding man, shirt tucked in, pants too short, slightly overweight, those brown sandals that look like house slippers. Purchase: Monistat and condoms.
I can't hide the disgust on my face. I wonder who's got the yeast infection that he's trying to bone: his wife at home? Or is he bringing it to his regular hooker.
Chester is full of hookers. Working at Eckerd I often wondered where all of these old men where getting laid because condoms were always a big seller.
Anyone purchasing condoms makes me think twice. Housewife purchasing condoms and bananas doesn't make me think banana splits before bed. It makes me think she's doing some weird condom over the banana masturbation technique to lube that sucker up.
Anytime you purchase underwear at Wal-mart I can't help but think about what they look like on you. I don't know why. I wish I didn't most of the time seeing as our customers aren't nearly as attractive as I would like.
When a man buys women's underwear I still picture them on him, I never think they are for his wife. When he buys tighty whitey and a muscle shirt (a white trash starter kit) my stomach turns. I all the sudden look to see if he has a Nascar hat on. And he usually does. Ha.
If you buy thongs at Wal-mart I almost always think that they won't look good on you, as I do believe that they don't look that great on anyone. I mean yes, perfect bodies aside. I have some cute little panties that are practically thongs, but these strings, just strings, no material at all thongs, they don't do anything for you. Might as well be naked, you would most definitely look better pantyless than in one of those- and what's sexier than going out with no panties on? Haha. PS I wear panties.
Tall, upper class looking man, suit, fancy watch buys tighty whitey with cup sewn in. I'm confused. He doesn't look like someone playing sports anytime soon. Maybe he thought that he would get back into after high school, but really, its been 15 years and he's no longer good at it. I picture his wife kicking him in the balls a lot. I wonder, what is this guy protecting his jewels from? I want to ask, I almost do, but I remember its not appropriate.
(So I am thinking of writing a book with little excerpts on cashiering, since it's a job most everyone has had. This is something I would put in it, of course its un-edited and well, off the top of my head but what do you think? I would also like to add chapters on: What its like to have every single customer ask me if they can see and touch my tattoo, People who want to see the manager because they feel that the cash register miscounted their transaction and that it couldn't possibly bee 400 dollars, because they only brought 94 dollars. The time someone accused me of stealing their nine dollar bill and her sunglasses, the woman who told me the ATM took her money and she wants it from me now (same woman), The joys of everyone yelling at the cashier because they know they can and how much I feel like a therapist to the community from the talks these people have with me.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
It's amazing what people buy. We always talk about writing a sitcom based in a pharmacy.
Probably only be funny to us insiders, but you never know!
ps- I want you! You are hot!
so i haven't been getting on here that much but i would agree we should totally hang out.
you seem like someone who i would get along greatly with. seeing as how i like to make fun of people like its my job and i am also really bitter. fabulous!