elros

i haven't posted here in a long while. i haven't really posted anywhere in a long while. i've been mostly busy with life stuff. i've been working a 9-5 job trying to have a normal life. i now have an actual place complete with a brand new (comfy) bed (the first new bed i have ever had and the first actual bed i've had in more than a few years) life on the road does have its disadvantages

but this "normal" life isn't for me after my short hiatus i have realized that living a nomadic life and playing music is what really makes me happy. i'm playing a few shows for a band but i don't think i will stay with them long. i think it is time for me to get out and do my own thing. so for the past few weeks i have been writing music and i think i will be putting together a band from scratch. its scary but exciting.

i have alot of friends here from when i grew up and i've met new friends in the past few weeks. but i am still really lonely. i guess i really want someone who will go with me on this journey and be a part of it with me, but all the girls i know who want to travel are in college and want me to wait a few years but i know that by the time they graduate they will be married and i can't wait that long.

/sigh

i'll leave you with this dream i had the other night... i was in a fight with this man who was trying to steal my soul and my memories. he succeeded but i faked my death before he could take it all. i went numb. another man came along to take care of me. i didn't remember who i was. then the first man realized he didn't have my entire soul so he came after me and the second man protected me and helped me to remember. and when i did remember i looked at him and remembered that i was supposed to kill him. then the first man who was trying to steal my soul found us. i stood face to face with both of them not knowing what to do. then i looked in the mirror. when i saw my reflection i realized that all three men were me.