elphie

Probably gunna go grey for a whole day... I don't get paid till the day after their gunna charge me... booo for being poor.

I need a word that means everything all at once.

I don't think it really exists... that's a shame.. maybe I'll make one up... I'm sure I could make a lot off a word like that.. it sure could come in useful.

It's my first honest to god Sat. off in about four months or so... I've spent the day and evening sleeping, cleaning, and shopping for groceries.

I'm feeling a little domesticated, and I admit, it's bothering me a little... okay maybe a lot.

If I had money and balls I would just say fuck it and go out on my own... but I've neither... I...
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I wish I had a mirror that showed me the way other people see me.

Wish I had a magnify-glass that woud let me read people's thoughts.

Maybe a light switch that turns me on and off...

Wish I had a set of titanium balls I could carry around in my pocket for a little bit of courage when it's needed.

Maybe a magic eight...
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Sometimes I don't feel very real... it feels like I've been given a script, told the right things to say... even the wrong things to say at the right time. I feel like my life is just some huge plagiarism of someone else's life... I just wish I knew whos so I can get mine back.

The sunshine always makes me want to do productive things, ard work, flyer posts, anything to pass the time and have an excuse to be outside enjoying the sun. It makes me smile...

I need poetry.... a book of it so I can zone out on the bus, in my bed, anywhere... bleah

I can't wati for tomorrow... 5pm... no more work for the week... thank the fucking lord.

Last few days have either been incredibly craptastic or really wonderful... there hasn't been much grey.

Really though... I just want to get through a night without waking up from bad dreams... at this point it has me in tears due to frustration and really has nothing to do...
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My cat wants the chicken potpie.. she can't have it.. it's all mine.

I think the three year old's brain spans at work are starting to have an effect on me... I can't pay attention to something for more than 5 minutes, and there's something thrilling about the idea of Bunny-foo-foo bopping field mice on the head....

I hate that other people's downfalls, ditches, and tears make me crumble.. I hate that it starst up bad dreams and lots of memories I don't wanna think about.

Sometimes I think it would be easier and much more safe if I just found a small island and relocated.

So I've spent the day sleeping on and off cause I guess I'm a lazy bum. It was good honest sleep none of this half sleep half nightmare bullshit that I've been having the past month or two, so well, yay for that.

Executive Council meeting in less than an hour and I'm sitting here typing in a towel, go figure.

I wish it would...
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I never realized just how exhuasting it is to watch six hours of nonstop TV.

Man.. it's tough work to be a couch potatoe... you need to move like every 2 hours or so just so you don't get bed sores.