elk_pop

I broke, in a way. I have been low, not so low that I can't turn around. I know this because I have been lower, many times.

It has been over six months. I broke down and tonight I bought my first pack of cigarettes.

Good thing I feel nothing.



Hi

I have lost all feeling.
I have thought I have been here before.
I really do think this is it.
Alcohol.
Below zero weather.
Disappointment.
Loss (rice cooker).

The feeling is what I always had a problem with. Now that it is gone I don't feel guilty.
Someone might get hurt, but its not going to be me.

Things have been shitty in the day since I returned from montana.

One. That girl isnt around.

Two. My rice cooker broke. It is sad, I love that machine.

Three. Ok there is no three, but the two are enough

I feel like I want to break.

I'm going up, going over to Montana

I need to get off this site as soon as possible.

Why?

I fall in love to easily,
In real life Emily and Lia
In SG land Liv, Tea, Tex, Arete and Ink

I am drinking too often and even though SG has no effect on that it would be nice to not have SG to turn to.

I will be gone in April

Though...
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I normally do not do these but I will this year.

Resolutions

Every one is basically centered around my SMASH THE STATE view as of late.
so...

1. Follow the writings and beliefs of Naomi Klein, Abbie Hoffman, Kalle Lasn and The Yes Men.
2. Continue to eliminate the paper trail that I and everyone in this time is leaving.
3. Continue to support Save...
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I stole potatoes today, I feel both terrible and like a fucking pirate.
I have come to decide that Liv is the only one who reads these.

so Liv,
how are you? I am good. Wanna come to Reno and go dancing?

Love elkpop

I am not normally smooth, though at times I try to be. There is a drink limit that destroys my ability to be smooth. But if I am at the right amount I can make good decisions.

Friday night

First. I am sitting at the bar with friends and one girl, who I didnt know before that night, is trying to light her cigarette, she...
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Dear Wife,
When you do become my wife, can we life in a small house in the city? In the back yard there would be a garden and upstairs you would have a studio and I would have an office with my grandfathers roll top desk. When you wake up in the morning I will already be gone to work, and when I came home...
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I always feel guilty. If I don't have anything to feel guilty about, I remember something in the past to feel guilty about. I ran that red light and narrowly missed three cars a month or so ago. When I was 4 years old I stole a plastic sheriff's badge from my daycare.

I helped this old rich lady with a project the other day...
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Gin and tonic.

I had about four the other night, along with more than a hand full of Newcastles. The people I was with said that it made me an old man and that I should just start drinking scotch. The bartender that I was hitting on all night said that it made me classy, and I liked that answer. That is a little ironic...
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