I am so fucking done with bars. I'm used to being fed weird lines by other patrons, but staff? Staff who seems really nice most of the time? I'm confused. I have no idea what to think.
Basically, one of the bouncers at a bar I frequent (okay, THE bar I frequent--like I ever fucking go anywhere else) sat down tonight, on his night off, and spewed a whole bunch of nasty gossip about people at me, and told me the guy I have been casually seeing (though we had our first sleepover recently) and really enjoying for about a month has "hardcore stalker tendencies" and is creepy and a liar, and to watch my back and he's "just looking out " for me.
I went home immediately afterwards. It was so strange, seeing him all drunk and going off about people he's s nice to to their faces, and I just sat there thinking why the fuck are you telling me this? Usually you ask for my ID, joke around with me and that's it, and now you're bad-mouthing your friends to me? I am well aware that he was drunk, and that people say and do things they don't necessarily mean when they're drunk. But him filling my head full of all this doubt about J (the guy)--who i am really starting to like and enjoy DESPITE the fact that I met him at a bar and despite the fact that I do not want a boyfriend--made me feel so bad, so doubtful. I really like J. He's wonderfully nerdy. He likes computers, and books, and Family Guy, and my sense of humour, and he tells funny stories and seems genuine. I didn't want to like him, but I do, in spite of myself, and now I just feel crappy.
And I know his intentions must have been good, because I tend to think that of everyone. Why would someone intentionally make me feel bad? Why would someone tell a lie about smashing two ruffians' heads together and knocking them both simultaneously unconscious? But I know what my instinct told me, and it made me sad. I just wanted to go visit and dance, and all my friends are hammered and nuts. Oh, and I did something VERY stupid, just once, wherein I went home with a staff member of the bar. Yes, I realize that is so goddamned cliche, and embarrassing and cringe-worthy, but I did--and according to this other bouncer, who knew without any word from me--evidently it is not a secret. I feel like such a total loser spazz.
Sometimes I fucking hate alcohol.
Gah.
It's so hard to know who to trust. My usual answer would be "nobody", but isn't that so very, very sad?
I want to put on my pajamas, watch Family Guy and Arrested Development and Buffy, and not answer my phone all goddamned weekend.
I am a cake baked from drama and doubt tonight. Mm....cake...
*sigh*
Basically, one of the bouncers at a bar I frequent (okay, THE bar I frequent--like I ever fucking go anywhere else) sat down tonight, on his night off, and spewed a whole bunch of nasty gossip about people at me, and told me the guy I have been casually seeing (though we had our first sleepover recently) and really enjoying for about a month has "hardcore stalker tendencies" and is creepy and a liar, and to watch my back and he's "just looking out " for me.
I went home immediately afterwards. It was so strange, seeing him all drunk and going off about people he's s nice to to their faces, and I just sat there thinking why the fuck are you telling me this? Usually you ask for my ID, joke around with me and that's it, and now you're bad-mouthing your friends to me? I am well aware that he was drunk, and that people say and do things they don't necessarily mean when they're drunk. But him filling my head full of all this doubt about J (the guy)--who i am really starting to like and enjoy DESPITE the fact that I met him at a bar and despite the fact that I do not want a boyfriend--made me feel so bad, so doubtful. I really like J. He's wonderfully nerdy. He likes computers, and books, and Family Guy, and my sense of humour, and he tells funny stories and seems genuine. I didn't want to like him, but I do, in spite of myself, and now I just feel crappy.
And I know his intentions must have been good, because I tend to think that of everyone. Why would someone intentionally make me feel bad? Why would someone tell a lie about smashing two ruffians' heads together and knocking them both simultaneously unconscious? But I know what my instinct told me, and it made me sad. I just wanted to go visit and dance, and all my friends are hammered and nuts. Oh, and I did something VERY stupid, just once, wherein I went home with a staff member of the bar. Yes, I realize that is so goddamned cliche, and embarrassing and cringe-worthy, but I did--and according to this other bouncer, who knew without any word from me--evidently it is not a secret. I feel like such a total loser spazz.
Sometimes I fucking hate alcohol.
Gah.
It's so hard to know who to trust. My usual answer would be "nobody", but isn't that so very, very sad?
I want to put on my pajamas, watch Family Guy and Arrested Development and Buffy, and not answer my phone all goddamned weekend.
I am a cake baked from drama and doubt tonight. Mm....cake...
*sigh*