elixa

You sent me a message today while I was away. Just wanted to write you back to let you know I wasn't ignoring you.

Hi, btw.

Thanks for the poem. I'd reply in kind, if I had the art.

Thanks for the words. The really fun part is all the looks I get when we're out ... I guess everyone assumes that I beat her. She was talking about getting buttons made that say "It wasn't him" or something.

I think what you say up there about you and your lover being on the "same page" boosting your sex life is totally right on. I think pretty much anything you do to get closer, brings you closer in the bedroom, in ways.

the only thing with hope is: that is all it is. Nothing truely substantial to base anything on. So it grows, then rather than little bits of hope i have lots of it, but La belle dame merci still "hath thee in thrall" ~ John Keats

Anyway, thanks for reading my thing, i think you are the first person to ever actually say anything on it besides this one member i know.

Have fun.
oh, which painting do you like? there are like 5 of them. Also, if you havent already, check out the poem "la belle dame sans merci" by John Keats

do i get a special kiss, or at least a look of non-disgust?

Thank you for your special kiss. One right back at you. I hope you have a good weekend.

Sounds like warm bath time.

You had intended to write something different, and I had intended to read something diferent here today. *grin*

A continuous flow of surprises!

If you can't be bitchy on the internet, then where?

Cute? I prefer awkward and desperate.

What is this mentioned zine about? I was curious before, but though I would save it, however continued mention keeps me in the shadows of question...

I want to just make two small points in response to your stream-of-consciousness essay and topic above. First, if you're writing about forgiveness and have a philosophy behind it, yet find yourself unable to forgive someone else for something right now, perhaps you can use that in formulating said philosophy? For instance, forgiveness may have a courtship period where one feels pain over a certain amount of time or even a threshold before it can be truly gotten over...or perhaps someone wrongs you so much that they will never again attain the previously attained 'status' and respect in your eyes...thus a form of unforgiveness... I don't think it would fit into anyone's thinking that forgiveness be given a strict time limit, nor that it shouldn't be given time at all and should be instantaneous (turning the other cheek)...I think most people would be sympathetic to some sort of grace period...before forgiveness can be doled out. In a way, you can look at it like a period of mourning, or a period of time before one can fall in love again after being so deeply hurt...

Second, and I've already slightly bled into this, but forgiveness and angst may be part of the balance of life and self and emotion...something that fits somewhat with my own philosophies. If you're dreamy and happy about everything, does that mean you are unmotivated to do anything at all...which could lead to unhappiness? That angst you hold onto is a counterweight to your happiness...making it better defined, noticed, and much more thoroughly enjoyed. It is like feeling and embracing the cold in order to better appreciate the heat when it washed over you in a doorway. I think, while the angst itself (or unforgiveness) may not be defensible or even morally right, but I think there may have to be at least a little evil, a little pain, a little unforgiveness, to balance out and give meaning to the opposite...

Lastly, and just to mention it again, some people and some acts do not deserve forgiveness. True, you probably shouldn't let it fester and unduely influence future anger and harshness toward a person, but sometimes someone does something that is just not right with you, and no amount of thinking or guilt or reason will ever bring that person back to the previous level of acceptance or respect. I guess that may mean you and I would have to define what forgiveness is (for what discussion is truly a discussion without first defining the terms and boundaries?), as perhaps my feeling of forgiveness is different.

By the way...


PS: If you can guess my philosophy at any point (at least as described in some fiction and circles), I'll personally make sure I make love to you in some way. At any rate, pride is not a bad thing...I have a lot of pride in myself, but of course, that may just again be difference of definition or connotation...

[Edited on Nov 19, 2003 2:59PM]

This facet likes you too, and I hope you wander around my way often.

If you need to know more mundane details, I work daily from 7-4 central, so I'm usually not on until about 6 eastern...and from then on it's scattered until 1am eastern....or straight through depending on my lack of things to do.

woooooooooooo!!!!

welcome to the wonderful world of chat!!!

behold our wonderful smileys when ya cant be arsed typing shit!!!

marvel at the private chat button so you can tell a wierdo to fuck off or talk about someone behind their back!!!



glad you enjoyed yourself, social interaction, tis a wonderful thing...

You are correct, children are resilient, and no matter what path you choose in revealing the father's jail issue, he will be ok given some time. You touch on it, and I think the real issue will be future involvement between father and son and whether that itself will be healthy.

I can speak from some personal experience, having been born to a single mother (not sure when my father and mother divorced...I have never breeched the issue...I should someday...) who was single from before I can remember until my 2nd grade year. I saw my dad regularly, although more like every 2-3 months as opposed to every month...and while a very gentle and nice man, my mom rarely had anything good to say about him (nor anything bad, for that matter) and he was never a real role model. He was a paranoid schizophrenic before I knew him and as such has never held a job, smoked incessantly, and other things.

I'm starting to ramble a bit, but my point is that while my father was never a role model, nor a bad person, nor an asset to the country or family, I was always allowed to make up my own mind as I wished. My mother never overtly influenced me, and usually if I did exhibit any influence, she balanced it out gently. I have always made up my own mind about him.

Unfortunately, mine never had drug problems or jail problems, so my mom was very open to letting me be with him. Who knows...I even lost track of where this was going. You caught me at a weak point in my day, late afternoon.

I think you're approaching this the right way, and I agree with all your main points. Kids can handle a lot, and it's probably better for them to be exposed to some of the uglier sides of life; that way they'll be better able to handle ugliness later on.

My own father wasn't around much, he just appeared whenever he felt like playing Dad which is bad for kids at the age yours is at. Kids that age need stability and to know they can depend on their parents. Fathers (or mothers) should either be there consistantly or not be there at all. They don't do the kids any favours coming around from time to time.

Here comes a second comment!

Staff parties are awful, but at least it's free food and drink.

wow...now that's a first entry...uhh...welcome. I hope you like it here.